Thursday, May 9, 2013

Let's Do The News! (May 9, 2013)

(cheers and applause)

2014 Volkswagen Golf GTi

RH: So, you love this thing, don't you?

JC: Yeah. Exactly. That's definitely the perfect definition of a hot hatch. I like it.

RH: I see what you did there because think about it, it's nimble, it's old-school, it has the same GTi spirit, and overall, a chance to break your neck when all hell breaks loose.

(audience laughing)

JC: That's the point and the best bit of being a GTi is that it wants to be as bad as...John Travolta to be precise. He's often being the bad guy in every action movie he has been...

(audience laughing)

RH: I had no idea what are you talking about...

JC: Anyway, let's do the news folks!

JM: Now, every year, the world's GTi owners gather together at some venue in Austria were everyone around here would want to act like morons, doing some ridiculous moments, or something like this...(imitates Candice) It's not a party! It's an intimate get together!

(audience laughing)

JC: Yeah, right. And in here, looks like Volkswagen's gonna showcase their latest GTi concept for the show, here's the pic so far...

JC: ...now what this is is what their latest GTi concept will be for some sort of GTi meeting in Austria. It's like it always happen every year when Volkswagen showcased their GTi concepts as part of saying thanks for their loyalty.

JM: Yeah, and do you still remember the Golf GTi-W12 a couple of years ago?

JC: Uh...yeah and sadly though, for a Golf with a W12 engine, I think most of the stuff isn't done. I got spun-off uncontrollably even though I'm trying to be gentle with it. Thing is though, when this monster Golf shows up soon, I'd expect it would be much worse than the GTi-W12 I tried. Most of the stuff in the dashboard doesn't work, well except for the sat-nav which thinks it's in Germany, the chassis doesn't work, the engine doesn't work...everything doesn't work...

(audience laughing)

RH: Oh, geez...I'd expect you might end up crashing in one of those...

(audience laughing)

RH: Anyway, I got some news that the second season of the anime we really don't want to see, which is Kuroko no Basuke or Kuroko's Basketball, is coming this fall and what do you guys think?

JC: I'd expect death threats from someone who disliked this show...

(audience laughing)

JM: Yeah, right. I mean there's so many death threats out there in Japan targeting against Kuroko's Basketball manga and anime, from the creator's nooks and crannies, to something that has further connection with this show. Think about it, those dojinshi events connected to the show got cancelled until further notice and last year's Comiket saw less customers because of the booth connected to KuroBas is gone for safety purposes. I wonder that if the second season could sparked fury to those responsible to the death threats?

JC: Beats me, James. Haters gonna hate...

(audience laughing)

JC: Now anyway, I got a bit of those notifications from my iPhone and says someone invited me to a game that I never played...What was that?

(audience laughing)

JC: Are they going to invite me to play a rather boring game that doesn't make any sense?

RH: Oh wait, let me guess...I got mine too and it says they invited me to play...um...let me see...let me see...oh! Candy Crush!

(audience laughing)

JC: That's right! It turns out that there's so many morons out there inviting me to play one of the most boring puzzle games of ages! I never played Candy Crush before and let me tell you something, why would you want to invite me to some super boring game in a form of a puzzle game? You know I don't like a puzzle game because puzzle games are RUBBISH!

(audience laughing)

JC: Tell you what? Someone out there is playing one! Who here plays some puzzle games aside from Candy Crush? Hands up!

(some audience raising hands)

RH: Well, some people do play boring puzzle games aside from Candy Crush saga...

JM: I do...

(audience laughing)

JC: WHAT?! James, you too?

JM: Yeah, only in my break time...

(audience laughing)

JC: (facepalm) You know I really don't like such games because you'll waste time doing nothing but flipping stuff...This is much worse than when I was playing the Montezuma game in my PSVita...

(audience laughing)

RH: Huh? Montezuma? You're playing a puzzle game, too?

JC: I know but I quit playing it. Puzzle games are no fun. And you know what else is not fun? INDIE GAMES, with the exception of Minecraft because it's more fun.

(audience laughing)

JC: Now, I had someone who has a baby boy who was going to celebrate his 1st birthday somewhere. I noticed that the little boy's birthday party theme would be "pirates". Do you know anything that has something to do about pirates?

RH: I do...Let's see...there's this...One Piece because of the Straw Hat Pirates, Peter Pan because of the villain named Captain Hook and his crew, Pirates of the Carribean franchise because of that Captain Jack Sparrow, Spongebob Squarepants because of Patchy the Pirate or The Flying Dutchman, Jake and the Neverland Pirates as seen on Disney Junior, which is an educational show...

JC: Jake and the Neverland Pirates? Guess my friend's baby boy likes that more than his old favorite, which is Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Perhaps no wonder this baby boy has a fond of pirates and that's why the baby boy's mama chose "Pirates" as the party theme. Here's what sums it up...


RH: Hmmm...Irvine Dylan's Birthday Party...blah blah blah...May 12...blah blah blah...United BF Homeowners Association...blah blah blah...Paranaque...blah blah blah...wear pirate gear or swimwear... Oh really? Do they had a swimming pool?

JM: Swimming pool in the library, perhaps?

(audience laughing)

JC: James, this isn't the TARDIS. We're dealing with someone's pirate party planning. Here's the location in question...


JM: It is a swimming pool. Are Irvine Dylan's guests going to swim here for the party?

(audience laughing)

JC: Shut up, James! I know it's a birthday party but that's more like a combination between a birthday party and a poolside party! It's a birthday poolside party! (imitates Phineas) I know what they did today!

(audience laughing)

RH: You know, you should better leave the imitation to me because I'm the youngest...

(audience laughing)

JM: Wait a minute...there's something in my butt....Oh man! It itches! Must be itching! Ow! Ow! Must scratch!

(audience laughing)

(Squirrels in my Pants playing)

JC: Anyway, that's the end of the news and in the meantime, THERE'S SOMETHING ITCHY IN MY PANTS!

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