Friday, July 5, 2013

Let's Do The News! (July 5, 2013)

(cheers and applause)

2014 Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG Coupe Electric Drive
JC: Science abuse. That's what that is... Science abuse!

JM: Hmmm...So you were saying that the electric-powered SLS is nowhere near as good as its petrol-powered model even though it's 4 times more expensive?

JC: Yeah but there's still more about this. You know the fact that how did it set the fastest Nurburgring lap time for such a category like this?

JM: Uh...yeah. And the thing is though that even it's faster than the Audi R8 e-tron, which is an electric car Audi will never make one, that's quite staggering.

JC: Also, because it has more torque on it, even when you put it gently, it's still has a fair hint of Science Abuse on it and...oh! Just let science do the work.

(audience laughing)

JM: Like what? Eating its shoes off?

(audience laughing)

JC: Anyway, could we do the news now?

RH: Right, the news. If you're in Paris, France, then you're enjoying 2013's Japan Expo right now while when you're in the USA, Los Angeles to be precise, then you're enjoying Anime Expo 2013. Either way, they both run until Sunday, July 7. If you're in Japan Expo, which is in Paris, France, then you're be meeting up with some of the big-time guests such as the blokes behind the Final Fantasy series, J-Pop girl group °C-ute, Shoji Kawamori...

(ooohhh)

JM: Wait...Shoji Kawamori? You mean the man responsible for mech designs and some of the finest works such as Escaflowne, Cowboy Bebop, and the Animatrix?

RH: Yes. Yes he is. Anyway, back on the guest list. There's Fist of the North Star creator Tetsuo Hara who will be celebrating the series' 30th anniversary on Japan Expo, which sounds wonderful.

JC: Okay. What about on the Los Angeles side that is Anime Expo 2013?

JM: Guest list on the AX 2013 in LA? Let's see...um...that's a lot. There's the famous otaku named Danny Choo, there's Noizi Ito who was responsible for the illustration of the Shakugan no Shana series, famed Filipina cosplayer Alodia...

(ooohhh)

JM:...there's the J-rock band Porno Graffitti...man, that's a whole lot of guests, including voice actors and dubbers! I can't believe this is getting even more star-studded than having a barbecue party with our new reasonably priced car, the Vauxhall Astra!

(audience laughing)

JC: Speaking of which, either which of the convention you were, there's always be geeks cosplaying as their favorites and you know what time it is?

(audience saying "Adventure Time!")

JC: Adventure Time? No. It's "Who's Cosplaying Time!"

(audience laughing)

RH: "Who's Cosplaying Time?"

JC: Yes. "Who's Cosplaying Time". And I had the list of what would geeks dress as in case of conventions so...

JM: Who's going to be...

JC: Hold on...I'm readying the list...

(audience laughing)

JC: Still readying...

FIVE MINUTES LATER

JC: Aha! There it is! Let' see...um...um...Oh! 

RH: What is it...

JC: I'm seeing someone who's visiting this year's convention...dressing as one of the Adventure Time characters...

(audience laughing)

JC: You know. In most conventions, you might encounter geeks dressing as one of their favorite Adventure Time characters such as Finn, Jake, Princess Bubblegum, Ice King, Marceline, BMO, and the rest. Can't believe that this super hilarious cartoon for all ages really attracted a mass audience.

JM: Yeah and oh! Did you see Monday's episode where Finn, Jake, and PB went to Wizard City? Aw man, I can't believe that PB's getting even more attractive than ever. In fact, look at her...


(ooohhh)

JC: That's one mean princess! Mama mia! Can't believe those who saw this episode got hooked over Princess Bubblegum's body-fit outfit she wore.

JM: Yeah. She looks more attractive on that outfit and...um...(whispers) Hey, did they get the memo to dress as PB in this kind of outfit?

JC: (whispers) I don't know, James...

(audience laughing)

JC: Anyway, more from the list. I am seeing...um...well, because Attack on Titan is pretty much with us right now, I'm seeing geeks dressed as members of the Scouting Legion as well as the Titans from the show.

JM: Well it's a good thing they're not as large as the ones as seen on the show or it's going to be quite a horrible feat. Maybe those who got hooked on AOT are doing some weird stuff.

RH: Stuff like...um...thinking that the Titans are going to devour hopeless people. Let's just say...those people pretending to be hopeless people are in the background while a Titan cosplayer standing in the foreground pretending to "eat" them while photographers going to snapshot them so by forced perspective, it looks like a 50-foot Titan going to eat people.

(audience laughing)

RH: It's like a picture thinking that you're lifting up the Hollywood sign. General camera tricks, man. Anyway, what's next on your "Who's Cosplaying Time" list, Jezza?

JC: Right...um...let's see...hmmm...hmmm...Vampire Knight...Persona...Bleach....Minecraft...Doctor Who...

JM: Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Pause here. To Doctor Who. Well, since everyone got the...

JC: Blah blah blah...Season 7...blah blah blah...souffle girl...Got it. Also, the new look for The Eleventh Doctor, that's covered. Okay, to continue...Hmmm...

RH: Oh! Oh! What about Wreck-it Ralph? I mean I seen people dressed either as Wreck It Ralph, Fix It Felix, Vanellope, and the other Sugar Rush racers from the movie. Although I'm kinda puzzled about that Vanellope character...Hmmm...Does she kinda look like Agnes from Despicable Me?

(audience laughing)

RH: I mean, look at their faces. They look exactly the same. Can't believe that last year's Wreck It Ralph took the idea of making the Vanellope character out of Despicable Me's Agnes, if you know what I mean...

(audience laughing)

JC: Thanks, Richard. I'll consider that on the list. Anyway...Let's see...hmmm...X-MEN...Power Rangers...Tales of...Resident Evil...Metal Gear...DEADPOOL? Who would rather want to go in the convention as the maniacal "Merc with a Mouth"?!

(audience laughing)

JM: Beats me...I don't know who's dressing as Deadpool...

RH: Me neither...

JC: Oh well...Let's move on...hmmm...hmmm...The Avengers...Spiderman...the agents of SHIELD...Madoka Magica...SAO...

RH: Wait! Wait! Disney's The Lone Ranger! The one with Johnny Depp and Arnie Hammer on it. What if...there could be nerds dressed as Lone Ranger and his Native American partner-in-crime Tonto from the latest Disney movie?

JC: Possibly...Let's see who's who...hmmm...

JM: What about the Jaegers? I'm sensing people who got stoked for Pacific Rim wanted to be as either the giant fighting robots known as the Jaegers or the monsters known as the...um...kaiju?

(audience laughing)

JC: Yes. James. There's going to be Jaegers, there's going to be nerds dressed as...

RH: Oh oh! Gravity Falls! You know it's your favorite. I'm sensing geeks who loved this show going to dress as either Dipper Pines, Mabel Pines, Grunkle Stan, Soos, Wendy Corduroy, and the others.

JC: Hammond! (annoyed grunt) Guess this list's too much for that but I hope everyone got that memo. (blows raspberry)

(audience laughing)

JC: Anyway, times up for us and that's the end of the news.

RH: Yeah and oh! I'm sensing....more boys, kids to teen, dressing as Jack Frost from Rise of the Guardians!

JC: HAMMO!!!!

RH: Ooops....

(audience laughing)

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