Saturday, April 6, 2013

"Helps you be up to 100% dandruff free FOREVER"

On the March 5, 2013 episode of Bubble Gang...

- ransom gags

- Mr. Assimo meets the fortune teller

- Of love, lies, and some lice on your hair!

- Tata Lino's here again to solve life's problems...

- Bubble Gang does Head and Shoulders by spoofing this commercial as HEAD AND SHONGGAL! Helps you be up to 100% dandruff free FOREVER!

- To recall a crime scene, first you have to sketch it with your photographic memory...

- It's more fun showing off your fun-filled memories with your friends but sometimes it can be boring...

- Ang Bagong Dating Doon

- No wonder you're name is Joey!

- IyoTube in Gangnam Style!

Friday, April 5, 2013

Let's Do The News! (April 5, 2013)

River's Diary





Right, what's the news today you spoiler-laden TARDIS journal?

Legendary film critic Rogert Ebert passed away

The legendary film critic, Robert Ebert, I'm afraid that he passed away at the age of 70 after he was succumbed to cancer. In the past years, Sir Robert Ebert spent most of his life waging his life against cancer.

Sir Robert Ebert reviewed several films for the Sun Times for 46 years and on TV for 31 years. Not only he's popular but he's well respected by many.

Story: http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2013/04/04/176261560/roger-ebert-legendary-film-critic-dies

2014 Panamera receives PHV model and others

2014 Porsche Panamera

So, Maserati now has a new Quattroporte, Aston Martin now has a Rapide S, now it's Porsche's turn for the "Four Door Supercars Part Deux" by revealing the facelifted 2014 Porsche Panamera range. For this facelift, the Panamera now gains a long wheelbase model, a V6 turbo variant, and a new PHV model called the e-Hybrid. The biggest change however is that the manual transmission has sadly been removed from the lineup and all models come with PDK dual clutch and 8-speed AT.

It will be revealed at 2013 Auto China in Shanghai this April 2013 and sales start in the Summer.

Story: http://www.carscoops.com/2013/04/porsche-panamera-facelift-gets-new-lwb.html

X4 Concept in Shanghai

BMW X4 Concept
BMW will preview an upcoming sports activity vehicle at this year's 2013 Auto China in Shanghai in a form of a concept model. Dubbed as the X4, it will slot between the X6 and the X3, making it a new addition to BMW's long range or sports activity vehicle.

Story: http://www.autoblog.com/2013/04/04/bmw-x4-concept-shanghai-photos-reveal/

Fast & Furious Experience in Car Town!

FAST & FURIOUS EXPERIENCE


In honor for May 2013's Fast and Furious 6, Car Town is bringing the slice of Fast and Furious to the wildly popular social game for car enthusiasts. The Fast & Furious Experience needs you and your recruited crew members to build some Fast & Furious cars for your ever-growing car collection in your garage. You can challenge for pink slips and complete new collections to win gold cars. New locations await you as well as new F&F cars including fan favorites such as Neela's RX-8, DK's 350Z, Jesse's Jetta, and others!

Start Your Fast & Furious Experience -> http://bit.ly/playcartown

Special-edition JDM Ferrari California

Ferrari California 30 Giappone

Announced at the Ferrari Racing Days 2013 in Suzukia, Japan, there's a new special edition for the Ferrari California called the "Ferrari California 30 Giappone", which is available exclusively for the Japanese market and it was made in honor of Ferrari's first win at the Japanese GP 25 years ago. Matches to the theme of Japan, the exterior color is white while the interior color is red.

Story: http://www.carview.co.jp/news/1/183143/

Mercedes-Benz CLA-Class

The Mercedes-Benz range has a lot of saloons to choose from and the S-Class is the pinnacle of the lineup. Let's put it this way, if you can't afford an S-Class, buy a CLS-Class. If you can't afford a CLS, buy an E-Class. And if you can't afford an E-Class, buy a C-Class. Simple as that but there is a problem. What if you want a Mercedes-Benz saloon car but can't afford on a C-Class? Of course, you're not going to prompt for an A-Class because it's a hatchback and it's a different story. That's simply a gap that's never been filled until now...

2014 Mercedes-Benz CLA-Class
Now, here's a rule-breaker in the range. It's called the CLA-Class and it's a brand new model from Mercedes-Benz for those who can't afford a C-Clas and it's very crucial for those kind of people because prices start at, you guessed it, 28,977 Euros, which makes it the most affordable four-door saloon car Mercedes-Benz has ever made. So, well done Mercedes-Benz, but actually...nope.

2014 Mercedes-Benz CLA-Class interior
You see, this is a class of its own for this car. This ushered a revolution where luxury car brands decided to make entry-level models that are appropriate to younger buyers. One such irrelevant example was Aston Martin. Sure, they made lots of luxury grand tourers such as the DB9 and the Vanquish but they changed course by developing the Cygnet, which is a compact car based on the Toyota iQ. Audi plans to develop a sedan version of the A3 to counter this kind of bellicose rhetoric done by Mercedes-Benz. However, the CLA-Class maybe a "bellicose rhetoric" for some econmic reasons but this urban egoist sure knows how to grow up just like the C-Class, the E-Class, the CLS, and the S-Class saloons.

First of all, the CLA carved its inspiration from the Concept Style Coupé concept at 2012 Paris Auto Show. As you can see, despite its entry-level capability, it's still very sexy to look at. It's like a 5-year-old girl who has the seduction of a 25-year-old supermodel. Well, that doesn't sound right because it's a bit racy if I'm honest. What I mean is, despite the compact look, it looks rather stylish indeed. Plus, it's aerodynamic as well because the CLA is the most aerodynamic car ever sold with the drag coefficient of 0.23.

As for the choice of engines, let's take a look. It had a 1.6L petrol engines with three configurations, a 2.0L turbo engine, and a 2.1L diesel engine as of now. They can be mated with either a 6-speed manual, which is lovely if you want to make things a bit more interesting, or a 7G-DCT for those whose ideas are about to get rhetorical on your way to the party. As I see it, they're working on an AMG version very very soon and this would be a very interesting choice for those who are on some serious bellicose rhetorics. In the meantime, I would go for the one with the 2.0L turbo engine on it, which produces 211PS of power. Not bad for a car who begs for high performance, though...

2014 Mercedes-Benz CLA-Class
The CLA-Class may not quite having the talents of other saloons from Mercedes-Benz but in anycase, it's a well-civilized saloon car that is usable on the city streets and on the open roads as well. It feels like you're spending the whole day listening to the house music served from King Street Sounds and when you're on your way to Aruba Bar & Restaurant before you reach the night, it's just as what you can say "absolutely fabulous" indeed. What I love about this car though that driving the CLA is like having the same moment as taking a break at a nightclub somewhere at Ortigas and listen to house music.

As a car made for everyday use, it kinda feels like weekend's over. If you're driving this car to work, most people will notice that you're driving a car suitable for nightclub visits and other stuff. It's not kinda right if you're an ordinary office employee who spends most of his time typing at the computer or making phone calls. Despite that, the CLA is just one way of telling your friends that you had a Mercedes-Benz. It's like showing off a Hermes bag or a Prada bag to anyone just for brags. It maybe an entry-level car but this is a sure fire thing that you owned a luxury car for a reasonable price. Who can't blame them? Now if you don't mind, I'm off for some nightclub chow downs...Ciao!

Photo: Mercedes-Benz

Thursday, April 4, 2013

The boys gave TGUSA Season 3 a Viking Burial

Top Gear USA Season 3 finale

Season 3 of Top Gear USA came to an end as the boys drove American offroaders on the Icelandic volcano to prove that Americans have the best offroaders in the world. Tanner Foust drives a 1979 Ford Bronco with a big block and 44-inch wheels while Rutledge Wood opts for a 1973 International Scout with tough axles and 44-inch wheels and Adam Ferrera goes for the 1984 Chevy K30 Diesel with 49-inch tires.

The boys struggled themselves to get through the Nordic roads from the old Viking Parliament to the Eyjafjallajökull volcano, the one that was erupted three years ago, disrupting air travel in Europe for almost a week. It is also a volcano where no offroader stood atop the freshly-laid, virgin rock at the summit.

In the end though...looks like they made it. They made it to the summit and prove that even beat-up American offroaders can still have what it takes to conquer the world.

And that concludes the third season of Top Gear USA. Thank you, you idiot trio for wasting my time watching your adventures in motoring...but it was fun having them around.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Forza Horizon: For Driving Gods and Bad Winners

Now I think it's time to meet up with a special someone from Forza Horizon's April Top Gear Pack...

Nemesis

Now, fans of Top Gear might remember this is the Bowler Nemesis but this kind of Nemesis is a bit different than what it used to be. Thing is though that Bowler has a wide reputation of creating off-road ready vehicles based on Land Rover models. They were designed to survive tough, unforgiving, terrains worldwide, whether if its tarmac, gravel, snow, whatever floats their boat. The Defender-based Wildcat is made for those who want to be Driving Gods while the Range Rover Sport-based Nemesis was designed for the Bad Winners in mind, even Hammond when he kicked the butt of his German rival at the off-road segment of Top Gear vs. The Germans episode. You know what a bad loser feels like? For Hammond, there's a Bad Winner. Bowlers are made not just for off-road fun but for bragging rights.

It's a whole new Bowler awaits..

But this Bowler has gone up in the world. This is the EXR S model. Made as a direct response to customer demand for a road going version of the EXR rally raid car, the S model uses the handling, strength and weight distribution characteristics of the rally car but usable on public roads. It even has the same supercharged 5.0L V8 engine from the Jaguar XKR which develops 510hp of power and it weighs 1800kg. Zero to 60mph in 4.2 seconds and has a limited to speed of 155mph.

The Bowler EXR made an appearance on the Top Gear Apocalypse 2010 DVD, where Richard Hammond drives the Bowler to avoid the prying eyes of a photographer taking pictures of him while riding in a Jaguar XKR, a helicopter, a military vehicle, and a hovercraft.

Off-road ready

In the world of Forza Horizon, does this new Bowler stand up when things get rough? Thing is though, even when the EXR is a road-legal Bowler, it still carries the same essence from its Nemesis rally raid car. You can go off-roading and go mad when you're in a badlands rumble.

That's how you eat Eggs Benedict for breakfast
This comes with a supercharged 5.0L V8 engine that I got from the Jaguar XKR-S but because the Bowler has more power than the XKR-S (550HP > 545HP) and lighter, the Bowler's power to weight ratio is better than the JAAAAAG! In a straight line, the Bowler can take down the Jag on a quarter mile but on the corner, there's one bit problem regarding this...me. Thankfully, the Bowler can find racing lines whereas other sportscars don't. Therefore, it can vanquish any opponent on tarmac.

Desperate Chase

On a familiar Bowler territory, this is when it gets interesting because while the Bowler was born to be an offroader, it takes mastery and some skill to conquer this machine in such unforgiving conditions, especially on rally courses and playground games whereas infecting and King is possible. With this though, this meant more musical chairs from your opponents racing offroads.

DRIVING GOD!!!

I've been driven this Bowler on Horizon and I have to say that this is the best offroader in Horizon. You can forget about the Range Rover, the ML63, the Wrangler, the FJ, or the G65, becaue this Bowler will deifnitely eat them all for breakfast. This is truly Horizon's king of 4WD offroader. This is made for those who want to become Driving Gods or Bad Winners.

This is just one of the many cars why Great Britain is so reluctant on making one of those and with all the insanity hidden beneath the Bowler's personality, this makes me so proud to yell that I AM A DRIVING GOD! (Oops!)

Let's Do The News! (April 3, 2013)

(cheers and applause)


JC: That's the most beautiful thing I have ever driven...

RH: You love this thing, don't ya?

JC: Yes! Precisely, that is the best-looking Aston Martin in ages.

RH: Yeah, I see where you're getting somewhere because...

JC: Because it sounds old-school, looks beautiful on the move, and savage if you are in for some fun and games. Brilliant. Anyway, let's do the news!

JM: Anyway, it seems that Wonder Woman travels around the world via an invisible jet but what if she need some wheels to race through the dangers and save the world alongside the Justice League? Guess what? Kia Motors made a ride for Wonder Woman and it's a Sportage R. Here it is...

Kia Sportage R Wonder Woman
JM:...this car is part of Kia Motors collaborating with DC Comics for the We Can Be Heroes campaign, dedicated to fight poverty. Well, I think the Justice League-themed Kia cars are complete right about now...

RH: Really?

JM: Yeah, seems that the Justice League Kias have finally assembled. Batman has a K5, Green Lantern has a Soul, Cyborg has a Forte Hatchback, Aquaman has a Pride, The Flash has a Forte Koup, Superman has a K5 Hybrid, and now Wonder Woman has a Kia Sportage R. It's already full force!

JC: Yeah, tell you what? I think it's rubbish to see the Justice League driving in those stupid Korean cars...

(audience laughing)

JC: Yes. They're superheroes. They don't need those rubbish Korean cars. They can go wherever they want...Well, except Batman because he doesn't have powers, only gadgets.

(audience laughing)

RH: So, you're saying is Batman will drive only the K5?

(audience laughing)

JC: No. He has a Batmobile. He don't need this rubbish Kia K5, you know...

(audience laughing)

JC: Now, anyway, as we told, North Korea continues to make threats everyday, regarding their nukes. Guess what? I made this...it's called the North Korea threat detector-inator...

(audience laughing)

RH: Threat detector-inator? Why would you add the "inator" suffix on it? What is this?

JC: I don't know. But what it will do for me is to detect everyday threats that the North Korea can throw us at it...

(beeping)

JC: Oh! There's an upcoming threat! Oh no!

JM: What is it this time?

JC: It says...oh wait that was yesterday...It's about North Korea trying to restart a nuclear reactor at Nyongbyon that was disabled under a six-party agreement in 2007. This nuclear reactor was once extracting plutonium for nukes.

RH: Okay, Mr. Clarkson. What's today threat now? Yesterday, it said that the restart of the nuclear reactor is another one of NoKor's threats. So, what's today's threat now?

JC: Hang on a minute...it still says UPDATING...

(audience laughing)

JC: It takes time, I tell you. It takes time. When NoKor issues a threat against humanity, this North Korea threat detector-inator will ring me, okay? Arirang, NHK, BBC, CNN, or any other channels, they'll give me a call. They'll check out the latest threats from NoKor, just to be sure...

RH: Anyway, can we move on?

JC: Yes...Well, anyway, it's summer in the Philippines and everyone's going on vacation, even the kids after the end of the school year. People went to go on provinces, some go to other countries, others went shopping, etc...etc...etc...The list goes on and on until school starts this June. So, if you're a car nut, are you interested on this?

2013 Manila International Auto Show
RH: Uh no...

JM: No...

(audience laughing)

JC: Uh...me too. Not interested on this because there are so many carmakers backed out, especially ones who are members of AVID like Hyundai. But what's interesting here is that Russ Swift will be participating on that event showcasing some stunts in the brand new Subaru BRZ.

RH: Does this mean, there's going to be drifting involved in the BRZ?

(audience laughing)

JC: Not sure but Russ Swift can do better than that now that he's making a switch from the WRX STi to the Subaru BRZ for some unknown reasons but I think it's going to be quite exciting. I promise...

(cheers and applause)

JC: Now, interesting news because Hennessey Performance, the tuning company behind the wildly acclaimed Venom GT, made some headlines again because it set the fastest top speed for production vehicles. That's about 265.7MPH or 427.6 km/h.

JM: Wait a minute...wait a minute...Didn't the Veyron SuperSport claim that record because when I was in Germany, the folks at Bugatti maxed out at 267.8 mph. But how?

JC: Well, the Veyron SS did 267.8 mph of top speed but shocking fact is that Bugatti speed-limits its production vehicles to 258 mph. So that now, Hennessey claimed that record for the Venom GT's top speed.

RH: Those utter utter bastards...

(audience laughing)

RH: This is just like Steven Moffat messing up Doctor Who with some shocking plot twists that infuriate Whovians! Get it?

JM: I'll show those Hennessey bastards a lesson...

JC: Whoa! Whoa! Calm down. Calm down. Let's move on because while the Buick Encore (an Americanized version of the Opel/Vauxhall Mokka) is new because it was been on sale last quarter, there's a report that General Motors issued an recall on 144 Buick Encores from the 2013 model year because the steering wheel could come loose or separate from the steering column! In short, the steering wheel may come off!

RH: Whoa! Guess whoever bought a new Encore right about now might end up noticing about this recall, eh? It's like you're buying a car which then later the tires come off of the sunroof shattered or things get disintegrated quickly...

(audience laughing)

JC: I know. It's a weird move to recall such a brand new car like this. Well, anyway, that's the end of the news...

Forza Horizon: VANQUISHing Horizon

You might imagine that driving the Aston Martins offered in Horizon such as the DBS, the Virage, or the V12 Zagato is somewhat an appreciating feat for an Aston Martin enthusiast like you. Sadly though, it's 2013 and the year 2013 marks the 100th anniversary of Aston Martin. Everybody's got their birthday present to the brand and because the Vanquish became the starring role of this birthday party, it even got a chance to be at the helipad of the Burj Al Arab hotel in Dubai, United Arab Emirates. Also, James May drove this one at Top Gear Season 19. This is really the most beautiful car I have ever seen but where's the Vanquish? All I want is to drive this beauty in Horizon just to find out how Centenary Spectacular this is when the Vanquish is on a video game like this...

Now, however, thanks to the April Top Gear Car Pack, the last DLC Car Pack to be covered on Horizon's Season Pass, the new Aston Martin Vanquish has arrived and it's about as interesting as an old-school video game they called R4. Ridge Racer Type 4 to you.

Helter Skelter
That is my idea of a perfect Aston Martin in a video game but it is very difficult to explain why. First of all, the car costs about a mind-blowing £189,995, which sounds a lot of money but in a game of Top Trumps, you can't use it to bash the likes of the Ferrari F12berlinetta, the Lamborghini Aventador, the McLaren MP4-12C, or the Ferrari 458 Italia. Let's just remember, even though it has a new 6.0L 565bhp V12 engine, it does 0-60 in 4.1 seconds (which is quicker than the Jaguar XKR-S) and a top speed of 183mph, that's about less than the outgoing DBS.

Wonder Hill

But don't be fooled by the headlines because this is the most graceful car I have ever driven in ages. Despite the fact that James Bond ditched this new one in favor of the DB5 in last year's Skyfall movie, this should have been the perfect Bond car for that film. Maybe next time, they'll feature it but never mind about that, because there's a sheer sense of beauty hidden in the already-beautiful design of the new Vanquish. That sheer beauty of the new Vanquish can be an equivalent of...three Chihaya Kisaragis...two Amy Ponds...and Ridge Racer Type 4's RTS Assoluto Bisonte.

Edge of the Earth

Out of Blue

Let me put it this way, being attacked by bisons is the sort of feeling when you are in an overpowered Italian exotic rampaging through the roads but here in the Vanquish, the only thing you're bothered is being tapped in the head by Puchimas' Chihya. She'll keep tapping your head as long as she wants but if you're prepared for the worst, you'd better be awake because savage bisons are coming to hurt you more than a bull run in Spain.

What's exactly wrong with this new Vanquish? Well, even though it's not as quicker than the old DBS, it doesn't really matter whether the things that were right were balanced out with the things that were wrong. Besides, this new V12 engine is a masterpiece. A true masterpiece classic when it comes to its exhaust note and its craftsmanship. It's also agile because it's 19mm lower than the DBS, every single panel was made out of carbon fiber so it's very light. 25 per cent stiffer than the DBS thanks to its new chassis. It's so aerodynamic! However, don't be fooled about being a suitable driver's car because when you really let loose, this car's too dynamic and a bit less grippy, meaning you can pull some amazing angles but difficult to exit. Whoa!

Phantom Mile

Brightest Nite

You know what this is like? It's like a Ridge Racer machine. It's like either an Racing Team Solvalou Assoluto Bisonte or a Bisargento with a Chihaya Kisaragi livery on it. You can almost call it crude. There's so many reasons why you don't want a Vanquish but there's one why you would because this is just fantastic. It's as harmonious as Asami Imai's voice but as savage as a wild boar. I love that. I really love that styling which nods to other Aston Martins. I love its V12 engine. I love its interior. I love the man who made it. I love Great Britain. I wanna move there and I wanna be The Doctor's companion or a Top Gear presenter...

Heaven and Hell

I also love the way that it feels like an Aston Martin, apart from that...and that...and that...and apart from the launch control and it's One-77-like interior, it feels normal. It kinda feels like Tekken's Lili because she maybe beautiful but she's definitely a bruiser that you don't want to get your bones crushed by her.

Shooting Hoops

There are so many cars in Horizon for those who want to be sensible but the new Vanquish is made for people who don't...

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Leopaul's Heaven and Hell: Normal People vs. Whovians - Souffles

Clara Oswald

Just in case why I'd use a gif of Clara Oswald typing on the computer, there's a bigger reason why we're opening up today's topic and this topic is none other than...Normal People vs. Whovians in the world of delicious souffles.

First and foremost, what's a souffle you may ask? Well, they're like cupcakes to me because of its simlarity of looks but unlike a cupcake, a souffle can be in different sizes and flavors. This was made with egg yolks and beaten egg whites combined with various other ingredients and served as a savory main dish or sweetened as a dessert. Yummy.

Sadly for the few, making a souffle is a bit tricky because it requires quite a bit of culinary arts to make one and once you made one, be sure to eat it now because prolonged exposure causes the souffle to collapse. In other words, it's ruined. Despite being ruined because the air of the souffle has collapsed, it's still taste good. My first taste of souffle was on Christmas Day 2012 when I was on the urge of watching the Doctor Who 2012 Christmas Special titled The Snowmen.

I like making souffles

This is just typical, far too typical for souffles.When Miss Jenna Louise Coleman showed up on Doctor Who when Series 7 began with the Daleks, Whovians turned the whole souffle word upside down, giving this tasty dessert a whole new meaning. A TOTALLY new meaning because when she made a surprise appearance, she was the one who got turned into a Dalek. Since we're not gonna explain longer, here's the most interesting clip that makes everything up...

Clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epc-Z974eiQ

No biggie... No wonder Daleks became popular again thanks to the souffle girl who turned into a Dalek. Thanks to this episode (and probably from the idiot Sir Steven Moffat), Whovians decided to think twice about making a souffle and if there's a souffle, the only thing Whovians remember is Jenna Louise Coleman.

Yes, we do like Jenna Louise as much as the former heroines such as Rose or Martha or Donna or Amy but about that new character, Clara Oswald. What made her unique for "souffle girl"? I mean yes, as Oswin, she died after the fallout of the Dalek Asylum, and as Clara, she died after The Doctor fought against Doctor Simeon to save Victorian London from The Snowmen. For a woman who died in different periods and a totally different Clara Oswin Oswald emerged from present-day London, she deserved the title of "The Impossible Woman" - the woman twice dead. Very lovely. But it's not so lovely for me. Every time I want to look up at the pictures of some super delicious souffles on the net, the only way I got myself into panic mode is every time I see Miss Jenna Louise Coleman. (clears throat) Sir, ma'am, where are your facing at? The dessert of the young lady? The souffle or the souffle girl?

A certain lyric that goes "Because I could not stop for Death, He kindly stopped for me. The carriage held but just ourselves and immortality"...hmmm...remind you of any? Never mind about that but with all that souffle nonsense is now the Whovian's biggest mess to clean up, guess my craving for souffles has now ruined my life (or perhaps rather enhanced?) thanks to this lucky lady you've just called souffle lady.

Anyway, for normal people, souffles are fine and delicious and sweet. But for Whovians, whether if the souffle is a lie or where did they get the eggs and the milk for the souffle, and the Dalek enigma, and the souffle girl, this is just utter nonsense. Please, souffles are made to be eaten, not to having a crush over this "new girl at Doctor Who". Come on, let it drop, please. Just for once, I just wanna look at pictures of delicious souffles, not some utter nonsense about Daleks, the souffle girl, and others. That's how I'm starting to frighthen more when it keeps on happening. Well, since the mess is done, there's no way to fix this problem. It's not mine, not yours, it's everyone's problem now about the souffle.

Good day and sweet dreams...

Let's Do The News! (April 2, 2013)

(cheers and applause)

2013 Hyundai Avante Coupe

JM: Really, you were saying that this is an ideal car rather than the Hyundai Tucson driven by the main characters?

RH: Yes, exactly and if it looked like this...

Hyundai Elantra Coupe "The Walking Dead"
Zombie Survival Machine
RH: ...I think this look fantastic to fend off a horde of walkers! Incredible!

JC: Um...sorry, if I can interrupt but this car's far too rubbish to be on The Walking Dead.

(audience laughing)

RH: Why?

JC: Because, let's just say you're the main character, Rick Grimes, and then you're unarmed, and then you're facing a horde of walkers, and then you're near to this car, without those contraptions. What would you do, little Hammo?

RH: Well, I could just carjack it, and then hotwiring it, and then off I go. Look at me, walkers! You can't catch me in my Avante Coupe!

(audience laughing)

JC: Ahem, a sportscar made by Koreans in a zombie outbreak is going to be a rubbish idea and I don't think Sir Robert Kirkman's going to approve this, not even Norman Reedus, who was Daryl on that show...Sorry...

(audience laughing)

RH: Well, all right. Maybe rubbish indeed...

JC: Anyway, shall we do the news now?

JM: Okay, the news and we got some good info for Metro fans everywhere because after Koch Media, the company behind the Deep Silver label, acquired rights for Saint's Row and Metro after the bankruptcy of THQ earlier this year, yes, you are good to pre-order the second chapter of the Metro story. It's titled Last Light and it takes place after the original Metro 2033, which is a post-nuclear survival horror game based on the novel written by some Russian I forgot about his name...

(audience laughing)

JM: ...anyway, Metro: Last Light will be available from May 14, 2013 in North America and May 17, 2013 across Europe for PlayStation3, the Xbox 360 video game and entertainment system from Microsoft, and Windows PC. Those who pre-order may avail the hardest difficulty setting of this game...Ranger Mode..

RH: What's Ranger Mode?

JM: Ranger Mode, the most insane difficulty ever in Last Light, where the enemies will be harder to defeat, less health, no HUD to keep track, very limited resources such as ammunition and gas mask filters, making it suitable for the veterans and not for the noobs. If you're up into this challenge, you are welcomed to use a special weapon for those who pre-ordered it. It's a Modified Russian Rifle. Also, you are rewarded with additional 100 military grade rounds with which to customize their starting equipment.

JC: Yeah, tell you what, guess this sequel will just bore me to death...

(audience laughing)

JC: Anyway, The Nerdist, hosted by Chris Hardwick, is now a full-fledged TV series aired on BBC America. It aired last week after that new show called Orphan Black, the one where a young woman discovers she's not alone but there are clones reminiscent of her. Anyway, here's something from The Nerdist I find it noticing...

RH: Wait, let me guess, is it the former Doctor Who heroine became a zombie?

(audience laughing)

RH: Well, here's the clip that really sums it up...



(audience laughing)

JC: Amy Pond back from the dead...She's now a zombie but she's a pretty one. (laughing)

JM: Yeah, absolutely pretty for a zombie who look like Miss Karen Gillan.

RH: Sure thing, I wanna be bitten by her beauty. But sadly, the only person I want to be bitten was The Doctor a.k.a. Alien Boy...

(audience laughing)

RH: Get it? BITE ME ALIEN BOY!!!!

(audience laughing)

JC: Anyway, we got some word from Citroen that there's a new C4 Picasso coming up and here's the picture of this new model, see...

2014 Citroen C4 Picasso
JC: ...it's now been lighter and more compact than the old model, new interior, new platform, and it is the first compact MPV to emit less than 100 g/km of CO2 with a conventional, internal-combustion engine. One thing I don't like about this new model is it's face. I mean look at it...This is somewhat a latest Nissan Elgrand feels like when it was given some disappointing look on its face...

(audience laughing)

RH: Yeah, and I mean if whoever drove one of these should be labeled as "the most disappointing family in Britain" because they bought to most disappointing car with such disappointing face!

(audience laughing)

JC: You know what other cars are disappointing?

RH: What?

JC: Let's see...there was the Toyota Vellfire, the Toyota Estima, the Mitsubishi Outlander, the Subaru Forester, the future Jeep Cherokee, there's so many rubbish cars wearing such disappointing faces, not as disappointing that your Fiat Panda, James...

(audience laughing)

JM: Hmmm...Disappointing you say? The only thing more disappointing was your face...

(audience laughing)

JC: No. Your face is even more disappointing. Even your stripey jumper you're wearing everyday...

(audience laughing)

RH: Can we all just stop bickering about this? If I'm a zombie, I would rather eat the heck out of you!

(audience laughing)

JC: Okay...okay...maybe I went a bit too far about this. Anyway, that is the end of the news...

Hyundai Avante Coupe

Now, as you may remember, Season 3 of the hit zombie survival drama The Walking Dead came to a finish and if you've already watched the season ender, well, you guys really shocked about what happened at the season finale. Well, anyway, while waiting for the next season this late 2013, we're just making a suggestion about a particular machine the main characters drove. The Hyundai Tucson iX as seen on The Walking Dead is a particular kind of crossover you want to drive in the midst of the zombie outbreak but even though it has enough cargo for munitions and more passenger space for survivors, there's just one thing the Hyundai Tucson doesn't have...performance. As a suggestion to Robert Kirkman, how about a Hyundai that does it well rather than the Tucson?

2013 Hyundai Avante Coupe
This is the brand-new Hyundai Avante Coupe, the two-door equivalent of the Avante/Elantra MD and most Koreans waited for this new model to arrive for a year since its world premiere at last year's Chicago Auto Show and its sudden appearance at last year's Busan Auto Show. However, there's one main reason why the new Avante Coupe should be a fitting Hyundai for the upcoming season of The Walking Dead...

First of all, if you were in last year's San Diego Comic Con, you should know that the would be called Avante Coupe made an appearance on that convention, only this time, some cool zombie-proof weaponry was penned by The Walking Dead creator Robert Kirkman. Scary, isn't it? Sadly, this one-off was made to celebrate the 100th issue of The Walking Dead comic book and this car needs to be appeared on the hit TV series. If that would happen, this should be much better killing off a zombie horde with added performance art.

Sadly though, the zombie outbreak takes moments from now and anyway, this is the real world so no zombies here. Anyway, the Avante Coupe...

2013 Hyundai Avante Coupe interior
It's like the Hyundai Avante MD, it still carries the same "Wind Craft" design concept, as part of Hyundai's Fluidic Sculpture design philosophy, so therefore, it's still the same old Avante MD only this time, less doors. The interior is also familiar to Avante fans many. So therefore, it's just a economy sedan disguised as a sports coupe which claims to be designed for those who are young and exciting. This doesn't seems to be exciting to drive though because by the moment I set foot on the Avante Coupe, this is about as dull as playing a game of Cards Against Humanity with your friends while on a recess break.

Nu 2.0L GDi engine
And then, there was the engine. The Avante Coupe features a brand-new Nu 2.0L GDi engine which develops about 175PS of power and 21.3kg-m of torque. So, this power output is not quite enticing for speedo boys who are obsessed to those Japan-made 1.8L compact FF sedan with the H on the front grille but as for the transmission types, you can either have a 6-speed automatic or a 6-speed manual transmission just in case if you're in a mood for fun and games. Sadly though, the new Avante Coupe isn't just fun and games. It's just a kind of person who doesn't distinguish between reality and fantasy, the truth or false, the right or wrong.

Even though you're with the 6-speed manual, it's still doesn't have the same "Speedo Boy" feeling that you'd normally get on a Japanese sports car but despite being a rubbish take on all comers, the Avante Coupe sure knows when will it redeem itself from the crowd. It maybe ideal for a car meet but when you're out there challenging against another "speedo boy", rest assured that "speedo boy" kicked your butt once and for all, realizing that you're a total embarassment to the crowd. Best thing to do if you have the Avante Coupe is simple, don't challenge a "speedo boy" or he'll make a wedgie out of you. That's quite embarassing if you got a wedgie on your tail.

The only way for the Avante Coupe to redeem itself is to have itself featured on The Walking Dead rather than the green-colored Tucson iX but only if it comes with the same treatment as seen from the 2012 San Diego Comic Con. This should be great and if that showed up, this will up the ante. Looking forward for that. Makes me wanna shut up and take my money...

Photo: Hyundai Motor Company

Monday, April 1, 2013

Lamborghini Aventador LP700-4 Roadster

If there's any car that is capable enough to deliver as much adrenaline as it can, this would be it. The Lamborghini Aventador LP700-4 Roadster.

2014 Lamborghini Aventador LP700-4 Roadster
There are many good reasons why this additional model of the Lamborghini flagship is essential on a Spring Break like this because first of all, this roadster was all about the excitement it delivers and lastly, there's the name. Aventador. The name given to a bull that was once faced a bloody battle in the 90's at the Saragossa Arena, earning the "Trofeo de la Peña La Madroñera" for its outstanding courage. Sounds interesting though and just like getting yourself high at some anime convention in Seattle, there's more about this car that set your pulse racing. In freeways, the Aventador Roadster is just something else, it's just extraordinary, and with no roof, this is how your adrenaline kicks in.

0-60mph takes under three seconds and top speed retains at 349 km/h (217 mph). Usually, convertible supercars tend to be heavier than their hardtop equivalents because for cars like these, stiffening needs are necessary to make it stronger. For the Aventador Roadster, the engineers had been skillful and they manage to add about 50kg of weight. Not too shabby though, but despite the added weight, it's still more fun to drive and I really get myself a thousand heartbeats per second! Imagine, driving myself through the tunnels heading through Bellevue, in a matter of minutes, I shall become a new man. A new man with a totally different behavior! (laughing) So much for excitement!

However, if things started to rain, this is where the worrying part when it comes to driving the Aventador Roadster and that is on closing the roof by yourself. Back in the Murcielago Roadster, installing the roof is like assembling a scout tent for your boy scouts. It really takes about 20 or 30 minutes to get the job done but on that, it's rubbish. Assembling the Murcielago Roadster's roof is quite dull but Lamborghini thinks that with the Aventador Roadster, there is a better way. Instead of a scout tent of utter rubbishness, it comes with a two-piece roof which Lamborghini claims that it will take about a minute to attach the 13-pound carbon fiber roof but that takes two to get the job done. By doing it yourself, it will take about two minutes to attach it before your favortie shirt gets soaked up in the rain. Sounds intriguing but this is much more time-saving than assembling the Murcielago Roadster's roof! Sadly though, with the roof attached, it's all drama and this is more telenovela-ish. It kinda feels like there's a village idiot in a family of geniuses. It takes a village idiot to marry another village idiot.

2014 Lamborghini Aventador LP700-4 Roadster
However, the new Aventador Roadster is all about being classy. Check out that wheels, it was made specifically for the Roadster, and then there was this unique sky blue color, and a special tan interior for the Aventador. Now that's classy but let's not forget. This is a Spring Break. This is just bewildering great! It's so savage, it's so strkingly beautiful, quick, and this is just like the moment when I was in a photo booth with the other geeks outside the convention!

Also, thanks to 4WD layout and with traction control, it's much more forgiving as well. It's all about the thrills without the spills and I like that way. This is just like it was made by IT professionals rather than being just a drawing from a little kid. What I love about this car is its bewildering behavior that loves to crash other people's parties for no reason but unlike the alien boy, it won't bite you alive after reciting Shakespeare's Sonnet. Feels like I'm back in Spring Break, this time with weapons!

It's still presses all the right buttons. It's still the best Lambo ever made. It's what you might call a real thoroughbred beast.

Photo: Automobili Lamborghini S.p.A.

Gran Turismo 5: The Aston Martin Vanquish

It maybe a grand tourer but is it raw?

I still remember the Aston Martin V12 Vanquish because ever since I first played GT3 A-Spec on the PS2, this was a prize car that you have to obtain it after meeting certain criterias. Well, long story short about this, here I was, driving one of Aston's ultimate grand tourers. Also, when this car was appointed as the Bond Car for Pierce Brosnan's final Bond film, Die Another Day, in 2002, I was so glad that this former Bond actor really put the V12 Vanquish into good use during a duel against a heavily armed Jaguar XKR driven by a villain named Zao. It was the best scene I've ever saw and I think this is much better than the remote controlled BMW 750Li from Tomorrow Never Dies.

Let the good times roll, eh?

This is somewhat how James Bond feels like when
he drove this

But this Vanquish is more than just being a Bond car, and despite the fact that Pierce Brosnan has one in real life. What I really don't understand is that it was desingned by the same man who was currently the head designer of Jaguar, Ian Callum, and this was essentially a beefed up version of the Aston Martin DB7. Look closely and you'll noticed that the Vanquish was just a DB7 on steroids but this car is also just more than that because this is essentially a production version of the 1998 Project Vantage Concept as seen from the 1998 North American International Auto Show in Detroit, Michigan.

Despite being a bigger brother of the DB7, the Vanquish is still an elegant looking grand tourer. It's still the perfect car you would like the bring it out at the South of France and still gather much crowd as possible because even by modern standards, it's still a head turner.

It's all about elegance in every direction

The typical six-litre V12 engine that you can normally see in most Astons is fitted on the Vanquish. With this, it develops about 460HP of power, 0-60mph in five seconds, and an alleged top speed of over 315kph. It maybe the kind of car that welcomed through the 300kph elite club but the Vanquish is just too darn perfect. The interior, the badge, the fact James Bond drove one, the Britishness, everything that what makes the Vanquish one of the best grand tourers from the last decade.

Oh, this is more fun!

Mind you, the Vanquish may have been a perfect GT car from the last decades but sadly, it was the last car to be ever built from Aston Martin's Newport Pagnell factory in 2007. Even though the Newport Pagnell factory was shut down, this site was still used as Aston's Works Service department, providing maintenance, tuning and restoration facilities for Astons of all ages. About that old Newport Pagnell plant, the first car produced in 1958 at this factory was the DB4 and during its 5-decade tenure, about 12,000 cars were built.

An instant classic

For decades, the Aston Martin Vanquish V12 is definitely a future classic and a collector's item not only because it was the kind of car for those who are a big fan of the James Bond movies but it's because it was made from Newport Pagnell with pride. It was the last car to be built on this place and it has been an honor to drive one of those masterpiece classics from Britain.

Some say: Toyota pushed Japan launch of new RAV4 by 2014

2014 Toyota RAV4


What a predicament...While the fourth-generation Toyota RAV4 is now sold globally, it seems that Japan missed out on those, despite the fact that they made it. So, when will the new RAV4 be coming in Japan? Some say, it should be at the end of this year but now...rumors told that it should arrive in Japan next year.

Perhaps, Toyota might be spawning a replacement for the Toyota Harrier which will be based on the fourth-generation RAV4.


RAV4が欧州プレミア、フルモデルチェンジを実施
新型RAV4が昨年2012年11月に開催されたロサンゼルスオートショーでワールドプレミアを迎えていたが、日本発売の話が進んでいない。日本市場での発売はまだまだ先の2014年末頃になる見込みである。
写真は、今月2013年3月開催のジュネーブモーターショーで欧州プレミアを迎えた新型RAV4。日本を差し置いて欧州でもニューモデルの販売がスタートする。

新型RAV4の日本発売、遅れる理由はハリアー継続のため
トヨタは、RAV4より上級のクロスオーバーSUVとして、ハリアーをラインアップしてきた。ハリアーは海外市場ではレクサスRXシリーズとして販売され、国内とは異なるブランド戦略が取られてきた。2009年には日本市場でもレクサスRXの販売が開始されたが、ハリアーはモデルチェンジを受けずに現在も旧モデルの販売が続いている。
長年トヨタのクロスオーバーSUVのフラグシップとしての役割を果たしてきたハリアーは、日本市場におけるネームバリューがまだまだ高く、車名存続の要望が販売サイドから強くある。それでも次期ハリアーを国内専用モデルとして新型の別車体を一つ用意できるほどの余力は無いようで、次期ハリアーは新型RAV4と車体の多くが共通化されることになる。
新型RAV4の発売が欧米よりも2年程度も遅れてしまう理由はこの次期ハリアーとの兼ね合いがあるためである。ハリアーは2013年の年末にもフルモデルチェンジする見込みで、その1年もしくは1年半程度遅れて新型RAV4の日本デビューということになる見込みだ。
車格や車両価格の関係から新型RAV4は新型ハリアーのダウングレード版という位置付けになるだろう。RAV4はハリアーより格下で後発でなければならないという事情が日本市場における新型RAV4の発売を遅らせているようだ。


URL: http://car-research.jp/toyota/rav4-5.html

Subaru teams up with Gyrozetter to bring Libird in the real world

ジャイロゼッターのライバードがSUBARUの協力でついに実車化!*超速変形はできません...。  http://t.co/ijgh3GBIwu #LOVECARS
Gyrozetter's Libird comes to life by Subaru

2013 marks the 55th anniversary for Subaru and it seems that the Japanese car brand's really pull something in ther sleeves. First, there was the Asia-only Car Town EX offered a special Subaru 55th anniversary mission, then the 2011 web anime Hokago no Pleiades (in collaboration with Gainax) will spawn a theatrical movie version. List goes on and on and on until this...

Subaru teams up with Square Enix to create a real-life one-off version of the hero machine of Gyrozetter called the Libird. Oh, an in case what's Gyrozetter is, this is what we call it the Japanese Transformers. Square Enix made an arcade of it where it combines the drivability of anime arcade racing game with the fighting similar to Mushiking or Dinosaur King. Mazda, Mitsubishi, Mitsuoka, Nissan, Subaru, and Toyota also join the Gyrozetter fight as well where your favorite cars transformed into fighting machines set to become mankind's last hope. The Gyrozetter franchise spawned a manga, anime series on TV Tokyo, an upcoming Nintendo 3DS game, toy and hobby line and some other merchandising rights.

Anyway, the one-off. This one-off special is a collaboration between Square Enix and Subaru. No one knows what car is based on but the Libird is colored in a Subaru-colored Lightning Red and most of the components are from Subaru. It's a turbocharged 2.0L boxer engine which develops 320PS of power and 21.3kg-m of torque. It was mated with a 6-speed manual transmission. And, having learned something from the Subaru BRZ, power goes at the back!.It's a rear-wheel drive car! That's what that is!

More details this June 2013.

URL: http://gyrozetter.com/libird/#

Kia All New Carens

The Kia Carens, which is a compact MPV launched in 1999, has now been updated and this new version, made under the codename "RP", is becoming a bit more interesting for ordinary families.

2013 Kia Carens
Here it is. It made a world premiere at Paris Motor Show last year and this car isn't quite a looker when you look at its boxy proportions. It could almost be a potential threat to the Chevrolet Orlando MPV, that's for sure but unlike the Orlando, the all new Carens is smaller in dimensions. That's a flaw for the new model but unlike the Orlando which comes with some utter Cruze-like interior that doesn't make sense to the driver, the  new interior of the Carens is a bit modest if I'm honest. Sadly though, if you are opting for a seven seater model, access to the third-row seats still has the conventional way of folding the second row seats which I'm afraid that most of the dirt of your shoes might ruin the back of the 2nd row seats and you may have to clean it again whereas the Orlando comes with an easier access to third-row seats, respectively.

2013 Kia Carens interior
Whereas the Orlando comes with the 2.0L diesel and a 2.0L LPG engine, the all new Carens decided to take smaller ones because of its size. Well, what powers the new Carens? A 1.7L CRDi-VGT engine or a 2.0L liquefied petroleum injection engine. The 1.7L diesel engine produces about 140PS of power, that's 23PS less than the Orlando's 2.0L diesel engine. Also, combined fuel economy for the Carens with the 1.7L CRDi-VGT engine is 13.2km/L, that's also less than the Orlando with the 2.0L diesel mated with automatic transmission. Oh, that Carens with the 1.7L diesel engine is available only with a 6-speed automatic.

How about the one with the 2.0L LPGi engine on it? That's good news because while the Chevrolet Orlando with a 2.0L LPGi engine has 140PS of power, the new Kia Carens with the 2.0L LPGi engine edges out with 154PS of power. That's 14PS more! Also, it's much more economical than the Orlando LPGi because the new Carens with the 2.0L LPGi engine has a fuel economy of 9km/L. Make it 9.5km/L if you're opted with the Carens LPGi model with a 6-speed manual transmission.

Unlike the Orlando, the new Carens also come with a party piece that you will notice and that is the SPAS, the one where the Carens uses sensors to find a parking space and then automatically parks it for you. This self-parking system is so surprising, you can even blindfold yourself and then when you remove it and notice that if your new Carens is parked, you'll get yourself a grin on your face. You can even do this even while you have some busy stuff in your hand such as playing something on your PSP, your iPhone, iPad, anything...

Here's the price list for the new Carens, all priced in Korean Won:


뉴 카렌스 1.7 VGT 프레스티지 A/T 24,200,000
뉴 카렌스 1.7 VGT 노블레스 A/T 27,150,000
뉴 카렌스 1.7 VGT 디럭스 A/T 20,850,000
뉴 카렌스 1.7 VGT 럭셔리 A/T 22,350,000
뉴 카렌스 2.0 LPI 프레스티지 A/T 23,000,000
뉴 카렌스 2.0 LPI 노블레스 A/T 25,950,000
뉴 카렌스 2.0 LPI 디럭스 A/T 19,650,000
뉴 카렌스 2.0 LPI 럭셔리 A/T 21,150,000

뉴 카렌스 2.0 LPI 디럭스 M/T 18,000,000

Furthermore, the all new Carens is "great value" for your money if you can't afford a Chevrolet Orlando by yourself and that's the end of it.

But the question is, should you really buy this new Carens over the Chevrolet Orlando? I don't know but the jury's out because a Kia Carens with a 1.7L diesel starts at around 20,850,000 Won, that's definitely affordable than the Chevrolet Orlando diesel's starting price of 22,100,000 Won. That's right. You can really afford one rather than the Chevy MPV.

Since Columbian Autocar Corporation said that they're going to bring this new model to the Philippines soon in diesel only, I just think of something odd because since we're a Euro II country, I'm afriad that this new Carens doesn't work here because the 1.7 diesel is Euro V compliant and you know the rules...

Guess they really broke the rules, eh?

Photo: Kia Motors

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Let's Do The News! (March 31, 2013)

Happy Easter!

(cheers and applause)

JC: Hang on...hang on...hang on...Is the souffle girl IN the convention?

RH: Yeah...

JC: Really?

RH: Uh nope.

(audience laughing)

RH: No sight of someone dressed as souffle girl! When I was there, I see those youths dressed as their favorite Doctor Who characters wearing exactly the same. I see 4th, I see 10th, I see 11th (including me), then I see Tardises. Also, I see Rose, I see Amy, and I also see Captain Jack.

JC: Captain Jack Harkness?

RH: Exactly. Seems those blokes really know how to find some "army surplus special" to make them look like Captain Jack!

(audience laughing)

RH: Hammond, we'll just cover up your cover story later and let's do the news!

JM: Right, the news and Wave finally completed the BEACH QUEENS THE iDOLM@STER lineup with none other than the lovely Ritsuko Akizuki. Here it is, look...

WAVE Beach Queens Ritsuko Akizuki
JM: This is exactly what I always wanted to have. It should be on sale in late September with the price tag of just 3,990 Yen and like most Beach Queens figures, the head is rotatable and also, you can even swap her hairstyle.

JC: James, do you think you're obsessed with this? I mean look at Ritchan, I kinda don't like her and she kinda reminds me of Doctor Who's Donna Noble, a lot...

(audience laughing)

JC: ...she's not quite a fan favorite but she is brilliant...

RH: Oh my gosh, I really don't know what he's talking about...

(audience laughing)

RH: Anyway, Chevrolet launched an updated version of the Camaro at the New York Auto Show, here it is look...

New Chevrolet Camaro Z/28
2014 Chevrolet Camaro Z28

RH:...it even marks the return of the Z28 model, which is sacred to every Camaro enthusiasts worldwide and it's possibly the most track-focused Camaro ever built thanks to some stiffer suspension and sharper steering. It even comes with a seven-litre V8 engine that you would find in the previous Corvette Z06. It's not that bad. I think it can be a suitable nip/tuck for Bumblebee when it return's for next year's fourth Transformers movie, which some say Mark Wahlberg's on it...

JC: Rich, if I might ask...When Chevrolet facelifted the Camaro, do you know what it looked like just now?

RH: Uh...

JC: It looked like the Lucky & Wild Evolver from Ridge Racer 3D from the 3DS! Nintendo 3DS!

(audience laughing)

RH: What?

JC: Look at it...

リッジレーサー 3D
Ridge Racer 3D

(audience laughing)

RH: Oh my goodness! That wasn't supposed to happen...

JC: Well, it seems most of bosses told the designers to take a vacation in Japan, specifically at the Bandai Namco headquarters to study things...

RH: So, what you're saying is that they sent those guys to Tokyo for some inspiration and then lead to this?

(audience laughing)

JC: Blame it to 765 Productions, Hammond. Perhaps the 2014 Camaro now styled to look like Ridge Racer's Evolver muscle car!

(audience laughing)

JM: What's next? Evolver with an Hibiki Ganaha livery on it?

(audience laughing)

JC: Anyway, as we all know, the Subaru STi has been withdrawn from the UK market due to currency issues and sales. Very sad. Now, Subaru's featured a concept car of what will the next WRX STi may look like. Here it is...

Subaru WRX Concept
Subaru WRX Concept

(wow)

JC: It looks fantastic, and I have to say that when this guy shows up in the near future, it will going to be the best WRX STi ever made and it's every Speedo Boy' fantasy to have the next one.

RH: I agree, it looks fantastic, it's going to be the best WRX STi ever made, and...HEY! What do you mean Speedo Boy?

(audience laughing)

JC: Now, you know North Korea, right? North Korea. It seems that everyday, the North Korea, or should I say, the Bad Korea, is keep threathening the world because of the United Nations, South Korea, USA, and Japan since December's missle launch and February's nuclear test which proven to be small and powerful. Now, I wonder why does North Korea keeps making threats all the time.

RH: Why?

JC: I don't know. Either under Kim Jong Un's orders, a state-run television, or the state-run newspaper with an unpronounceable name. I think its...Rodong-Nodong-Modong-Sodong-Kodong-Dodong...

(audience laughing hysterically)

RH: So this whole Sodom-Modom-Rodom-Totom...thingy kept on making an announcement that North Korea wants to kill us all eh?

JC: Exactly. North Korea often making death threats against the world all day long. First, they'll make a pre-emptive nuclear strike against Washington, then North Korea nullified the armistice that ended the Korean War from the 50's, then North Korea disconnected hotlines linking the North and the South, then North Korea's on a "State of War", then North Korea readies their missles to strike the US, then North Korea threathend to close the Kaesong Industrial Park. It just goes on and on, it's like North Korea's winning in the game of Cards Against Humanity.

(audience laughing)

JM: Cards Against Humanity?

JC: It's a rubbish game. What's it all about? Anyway, while threats from North Korea against the world will continue everyday, anyone saw Olympus Has Fallen? Hands up...

(audience raising hands)

RH: Olympus Has Fallen?

JC: Yes, Olympus Has Fallen. It's a movie when terrorists destroyed Washington and a Secret Service ageint risks everything to secure the US President. Imagine, if North Koreans launched a missle to destroy Washington, this is the words you'll say to the President, the Congress, and the United Nations. Ahem...OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN! I REPEAT, OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN!

(audience laughing)

RH: Oh yeah, if Kim Jong Un destroyed Washington, what's your view? Do you think North Korea will turn planet Earth into a sea of fire? Is North Korea threathen to END HUMANITY?

(audience laughing)

JC: Precisely. That's why North Korea wanted to turn this planet into a sea of fire and then the only continent standing in this planet is none other than North Korea itself. Imagine if those state-run media from North Korea announced that "North Korea will end all humanity", perhaps the best way to save yourself is pray...

RH: Pray?!

(audience laughing)

JC: Yes. Pray. Pray to God that North Korea will suffer...

(audience laughing)

JC: Let's face it. When months of June came, here come the storms. Storms always affecting parts of the Philippines, even the superstormy ones. Hopefully, when North Korea gets flooded, I'd expect no one from the foreign community to help North Korea because of nuclear reasons and death threats against the world. Sure, North Korea threatens to destroy ever single US Base in the world, especially those from South Korea and Japan but if you're listening to me, North Korea, your country feels like it's worshipping Lucifer and worshipping the fallen. Those guys are so GRRRR....

(audience laughing)

JM: Perhaps then that North Korea's becoming a nation of terrorists. A country even worse than Al Qaeda or worse of all. They're just like...um...THE GREAT INTELLIGENCE.

RH: Oh geez....

(audience laughing)

JM: Hey! Guys! Guess what? GOOD NEWS!!!

(audience laughing, then cheers and applause)

JC: What?

JM: I've just heard back in the Game Developers Conference 2013 that Sir Hideo Kojima announced a new Metal Gear game titled METAL GEAR SOLID V: THE PHANTOM PAIN!

(cheers and applause)

JC: Great.

JM: Check out that clip...



(cheers and applause)

JC: Unbelievable! Fantastic! Molto bene! Looking forward for the next chapter of Big Boss' story, which is strange that after a 9 year coma, it seems that Big Boss lost everything. Love that trailer though...

RH: Me too!

JC: And that's the end of the news! Happy Easter! And stay away from North Korea!
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