Sunday, May 10, 2015

The Cute Wall (Volume Six)

Now, the moment of truth is time because it's now time to do...THE CUTE WALL!



(applause)

How great it is that we're doing this segment again after so many days. So, who's first?


Oshawott
It's this little fella from Pokemon. It's Oshawott! Isn't it cute?

Yes, it is kinda cute for a critter who wears so many makeup to impress almost anyone. I mean look at his face, it's all white! It's like he's spending all night putting too much facial powder without even knowing!

(audience laughing)

Well...okay, I'll give you that but did you know that Ash had one in the BW anime?

Uhh...

Anyway, he's a water-type Pokemon and he's one of the starters in the BW video games like Snivy and Tepig. He's got that scalchop that he always uses as a weapon or to be more precise, his Razor Shell attack.

Razor Shell?! Does he know how to use it well?

Well, not most of the time. Oshawott gets barbecued most of the time when he gets first.

(audience laughing)

Much like you. You always jump into conclusions recklessly.

Oh, all right then. So, where should we put Oshawott?

(indistinct chatter)

I bet Oshawott should be at the...well, NAKAKAGIGIL because with such cute face, there's no arguing about its pretty looks when Oshawott tries to look...like a pretty girl or boy.

(audience laughing)

Okay, NAKAKAGIGIL it is then. Now, will you excuse me, I need to get to the loo for a while...

Hurry up, then, because I'll be featuring another cute character. Oh look!

Minions


(applause)

Now, who would invited those minions here? Oh wait, I do speak minion here so...(gibberish)

(gibberish)

(audience laughing)

(gibberish)

(gibberish)

(gibberish)

(gibberish)

...what's going on here? Oh my! Who are those?

They're Minions. Gru's Minions from the Despicable Me movies. Looks like most of the Minions wanted have their spot in the Cute Wall but sadly there's only four places. Okay, I know what to do with those...

Several hours later...

Okay, now we have four minions. So...(gibberish)?

(gibberish)

(audience laughing)

Right, so what we're going to do is to tell those minions to dress up as cute as possible.

And then, we're going to rate them how cute they really are?

Precisely! All right little banana brains, time to dress up!

Several hours later...

So, Minion A, I think that's a very good outfit but it needs some little work so I'll have to send you to the NOT CUTE sport. As for Minion B, well, looks like he's having problems with his outfit. Sadly, I had to put you in the SERIOUSLY NOT CUTE sport. Now, we have Minion C and Minion D. Looks like it's going to be a heated battle, eh?

Yes and both of them are in their cutest but there can only be only one so if I were going to choose which one...I'll go for Minion C. Congratulations, your NAKAKAGIGIL spot has reserved for you!

(applause)

Awesome! Looks like we've picked the cutest Minion of them all in this segment. Right, time to add someone new to the board.

Star Butterfly

Who on Earth is that?!

Star Butterfly! She's from that new show titled Star vs. the Forces of Evil!

Is that really Star Butterfly? Because by the looks of her, she's like Mabel Pines who is over 9000.

(audience laughing)

Over 9000?

9000% in craziness, ugliness, and...uh...well, that's about it. She's crazier than Gravity Falls' Mabel Pines!

(audience laughing)

Okay, then how can you describe how crazy or ugly she is?

If you look at Mabel Pines, you can see that her ugliness comes with her braces and her goofy attitude but when you look at Star, she's more of a hideous wreck than Mabel Pines. Just look at her! Headband with some devil horns on it, magic wand that looks like they stole from an anime I once knew, the same Mabel Pines stupidity. Oh My G!

(audience laughing)

Looks like I would rather get smooched by Mabel rather than Star...well, I wouldn't mind getting chased by Star or Mabel because...

(clears throat) So, where would you put her Mr. I-Don't-Like-Ugly-Ladies?

I tell you where we should put Star...

(audience laughing)

There you go! SERIOUSLY NOT CUTE because she's as hideous as Mabel and no girl would ever want to be like these two.

You're always spouting about things you don't understand eh?

(indistinct chatter)

(POW!)

Ow! What was that?! And how did...Star ended up in...the NAKAKAGIGIL spot?

Told ya. Don't underestimate Star. She's one heck of a buttkicker when it comes to kicking bad guys' butts with her klutzy magic powers. Before you know it, she hit you with a narwhal.

(audience laughing)

Narnia?

No. Narwhal. Nar-whal. Narwhal blast!

This girl's so G-R-R-R...

(audience laughing)

She also hit you with a heart attack after that.

Okay. Let's leave her in the top spot she deserves. So, who's next?

Serena's Pancham
(ooohh)

Hold on...is that Pancham?

Yes but more specifically, Serena's Pancham from Pokemon XY!

Oh dear, looks like the Cute Wall is constantly flooded with every cute Pokemon known but anyway, I love Pancham so much because, he's cute and tough at the same time.

Okay, I agree with you but there's a problem.

Why? What's the problem?

Chespin's in the NAKAKAGIGIL board and if we put Serena's Pancham on that board, we're expecting a big feud between them.

(audience laughing)

I see! That's because Chespin and Serena's Pancham don't like each other. So, any suggestions?

Well, to be safe...CUTE. We'll put this little panda bear on the CUTE spot so he won't start a fight with Chespin that spells trouble in the board.

(audience laughing)

Good thinking. So, who else we got?

Uh...that's pretty much it, I'm afraid.

(audience laughing)

That's it?

Yep. No more. Oh wait! There's someone else!

Who is it?

Amethyst

Eek! Amethyst! Why did you brought her here?!

To try to explain what I'm on about. She's from Steven Universe, right? She's a crystal gem like Garnet and Pearl. And guess what?!

What?!

She's the perfect epitome of annoyance!

(audience laughing)

But...I don't find her to be annoying...

Oh yes she is. Imagine if I put Amethyst, Star, and Mabel in front of the cockometer, can you guess who can cause the cockometer to explode the most?

Uhh... Let me guess...Can we use the cockometer?

Okay. First, let's have Mabel. So, how would Mabel explode the Cockometer?

(BOOM!)

Her brace-filled ugliness blew the cockometer in less than three seconds. So, what about Star?

(POW!)

Star's Narwhal Blast destroyed the cockometer faster than Mabel's ugly face in less than a second. Now, how about Amethyst?

Several minutes later...

Clearly, this will take time so let's call her less annoying than the other two.

(audience laughing)

Sadly, I don't find Amethyst to be annoying and I'm a bit wrong but better still, I know a place we'll put Amethyst.

Where?

NOT CUTE.

(audience laughing)

Time for the recap!

SERIOUSLY NOT CUTE:
Raichu
Whisper
*Minion

NOT CUTE:
Dopey
Kwazii
*Minion
*Amethyst

CUTE:
Pichu
Plusle
Minun
Pachirisu
Emolga
Dedenne
Mokona
Mog
Catbug
Bashful
Froakie
Fennekin
Harukasan
Stuffy
Tunip the Vegimal
Minccino
Piplup
Sylveon
Queen Delightful
Axew
Jibanyan
*Minion
*Serena's Pancham

NAKAKAGIGIL!!!:
Pikachu
BMO
Bijou
Poof
George
Happy
Chespin
Doc McStuffins
Mabel Pines
Sofia
Cottonee
*Minion
*Oshawott
*Star Butterfly

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Ask comments and questions here!