Saturday, January 28, 2017

The Cute Wall (Volume Seventeen)

Now, the moment of truth is time because it's now time to do...THE CUTE WALL!



(applause)

And look what I just got! It's the latest Yokai Watch sold at most toy stores in Japan. Although this is different from past Yokai Watch models, I can still summon one of my favorite Yokais as seen from the show.

Hold on there, shorty. Since when did you like Yokai Watch? I thought you're more of a Pokemon guy but now this?

Yeah. Can't believe this whole Yokai Watch thing is very relatable in real life.

Probably because of misdeeds and troublemakings like everyone else in the world does?

(audience laughing)

Well, honestly yes. That's why I love this show and would you like to see who's on the list today?

After you...


USApyon

Is that...an astronaut?

No. Well, you may call it but truth be told, that cute looking critter in the space suit is definitely a Yokai. It's USApyon.

USApyon?

Yes. See his name here? It's got an American taste to it because USApyon's one of the newly discovered American Yokais.

American Yokais?! You mean there's more than one place in this whole world that has been surrounded by troublemaking Yokais?!

Yeah. Although the USA in USApyon refers to the country of origin, the USA can also referred to "usagi" or bunny. Therefore, he's a rabbit or that's what I think it is.

Hate to break it to you but USApyon's not a rabbit but therefore he was basically a ferret who used to belonged to a renowned scientist before he died and became the Yokai we now known as USApyon. He's the partner of a young girl I don't know who is she but she was named as a certain Inaho Misora.

Yeah. Since this girl possesses the Yokai Watch U Prototype, that makes her an enemy or friend of Keita Amano (Nate Adams) and Jibanyan in the little game of who gets the most Yokai medals. Kinda like (mumbling).

(audience laughing)

Well, now that you get the idea but USApyon does have a clever catchphrase like a few Yokais know about. He keeps saying the "dani" word at the end of the sentence, much like "zura" for Komasan and Komajiro.

Apparently, USApyon likes to say it that way because it's in the character of being a cute Yokai in a space suit. Oh, and would you like to know what else USApyon can do?

Let me guess, can it fight?

I don't know but most say, when USApyon's mad, his helmet's gone in black smoke and red eyes popped up on his helmet. Then he shoots his laser gun!

(Pew! Pew! Pew!)

Aaaahhhh!!! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!

That's Vader Mode to you! USApyon Vader Mode!

(Pew! Pew! Pew!)

(Pew! Pew! Pew!)

(Pew! Pew! Pew!)

10 MINUTES LATER

Stop shooting me, USApyon! I'll put you on the CUTE spot and you'll stop shooting me, okay?

(audience laughing, then applause)

Easy for you to say it. I got to say that USApyon really is a cute little space otter that you really don't really want him when he's angry.

I agree. Don't wanna hit by that thing, please.

(audience laughing)

Who do you have next?


Happierre and Dismarelda
Hey! They're...

Happierre and Dismarelda. Anyone who got enspirited by Dismarelda brings them bad vibes but when Happiere's here. He negates Dismarelda's bad vibes and things back to the way things were. Come to think of it, Dismarelda's always in a bad mood while Happierre is always the Yokai with good vibes.

Seems you did some homework here but what puzzles me about Dismarelda is she kinda reminds me of someone.

Someone like...

(static)

WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES...

Anyway, because Dismarelda's giving me some bad vibes, I should sadly put her on NOT CUTE while Happierre can stay in CUTE...because he's cute when he keeps on smiling. I love his smile. Makes me want to stare at his face all day long.

(audience laughing)

Who else?

Tomnyan

Who's this? I thought it was Jibanyan but he isn't. Apparently he's Jibanyan's American cousin.

Yes. He's Jibanyan's American cousin. His name is Tomnyan and...

Would you excuse me for a sec?

Anyway, like I said, he's Jibanyan's American cousin who loves to eat delicious sticks and plays a guitar. He's a cool cat who loves to say his catchphrase "meow" because he's as American as...

(gun cocks)

What are you doing?!

That ugly-looking cat's got to go.

Huh?

That cat's hideous-looking and he has got to go. Stay away.

What are you talking about? Don't tell me...

(bang!)

.....

???

(bang!)

(bang!)

Darn it! What are you you little kitty? This is the most powerful bio countermeasure weapon ever made. How come it doesn't work on Yokais like him?

Looks like your cool looking pistol didn't work on Yokais like Tomnyan, huh? Too bad.

(audience laughing)

Grrr....Gonna get another one.

(audience laughing)

Hmph. Never mind about that, care to tell where to put Tomnyan?

(audience murmuring)

Did I hear cute? Okay then. It's CUTE you go for Tomnyan!

(applause)

KK Brothers

(ooohh)

Are those Komasan and Komajiro's American cousins?!

Yes, you nincompoop. They are the KK Brothers. K. Koma and K. Jiro. They're like Komasan and Komajirou, only American and without the swirls, which is a shame for all of us. But on the bright side, you can still stare at those flaming spiraling bits on their forehead. Ooohh...

Ooohhh...

(ooohh)

They glow just like Komasan and Komajirou's. Makes me want to stare at those flames for longer. Ooohhh....

92 MINUTES LATER...

Anyway, since they're Komasan and Komajirou's American cousins, they shared the same cuteness as the normal counterparts as well as their catchphrases only Little Miss Hanamaru would love.

As in...Zura?!

(audience laughing)

You talk just like them because you love these guys! I knew it!

Yeah. Yeah. I love Komasan, Komajirou, and the KK Brothers as much as Hanamaru Kunikida and I have to say let's put these KK Brothers to the CUTE spot where safe. But I wanna keep on staring on the flames on their forehead.

(audience laughing)

Speaking of which, why is there a bat hiding in the wall?

A bat? No. That's Yokai Hidabat, silly.

Hidabat

He's a shut-in who likes to live inside the closet most of the time and never goes out indefinitely. Which reminds me, are they any other people elsewhere who were shut-ins and hermits?

(audience laughing)

Most people aren't like Hidabat and if anyone got enspirited by Hidabat, they wouldn't leave inside their bedrooms for the rest of their lives.

(audience laughing)

But look at Hidabat. This Yokai looks and sounds so cute. Makes me want to hug Hidabat!

Really? Can you really hug a Yokai?

No. Not really. Getting close to a Yokai is like want to be inspirited by those.

(audience laughing)

Still, I want to place Hidabat on the CUTE spot where safe.

Safer than getting out, I dare say.

(audience laughing)

Manjimutt

(eewww)

Excuse me, who's that...dog-man-dog thingy?

Hey, you never met Manjimutt. He's a weird looking Yokai with some silly jokes to tell.

But he's a dog-man-dog...errr...whatever that is.

(police siren)


Wait, what? Excuse me?

(police chattering)

He broke out of jail? Again? For the thousandth time?!

Wow. He got out of jail more than almost anyone. Probably Nate kept summoning him. That's why.

(audience laughing)

Oh well. Better put him to SERIOUSLY NOT CUTE so he'll won't mind.

I heard that!

(audience laughing)

Got any more of your Yokai friends?! AHHH!

Robonyan

Who's that? A robot?!

Not just a robot. It's Robonyan. The robot cat from the future.

Robot cat from the future? I thought it was Doraemon.

Yeah but sadly Doraemon is so last century so they made a Yokai robot to get that title. So, Robonyan. What to like about Robonyan? Well, he's a can-do all robot that does all things like most robots do. Did I mention that he can make lots of chocobars coming out from his mouth?

Really?

Not just chocobars but he makes food straight from his metallic mouth.

Kind of unsanitary, eh? But no matter. I wish to eat some more mojos from last dinner.

(audience laughing)

He's a robot of many talents. He can become almost anyone using high-resolution 3D imaging because in the future, they don't copy. They become.

(ooohhh)

Hey. You know the worst-case scenario when robots took over the world and kill us all with their lasers and machine guns? Guess what? Did you know that robots can unleash chemical attacks as well?

(audience laughing)

Chemical attacks? Can robots do chemical attacks?

Simple, they release some sort of toxic gas from their butts.

(audience laughing)

Robonyan did farted when he got attacked by some big-butt-faced Yokai named Cheeksqueek. That, ladies and gents, is the future. Robots not only kill us all with their big weapons, they can also do chemical attacks from their butts! Beware!

(audience laughing)

Oh, and one more thing. See this cool looking weapon I got? It looks like it resembles by someone that goes "free wee for everyone".

(audience laughing)

Watch as I'm gonna do to Robonyan!

Whoa!

(ooohhh)

What did you do to Robonyan! Wait, what? Robonyan does like getting pierced by that...weapon?

Don't know. Robonyan says its either defragmentation or disk optimization but whatever that is, this is getting weird for him getting stabbed by the wee wee.

(audience laughing)

Still doing toilet jokes, hiuh? Anyway, enough doing stuff on Robonyan for now because with all his cool stuff and his endless array of gadgets in store for him, that's why I love this robotic Yokai, even though now he's been upgraded to a new and more powerful Robonyan F.

Robonyan F

What are you doing?!!

He looks cute when he got pierced by B3-NK1's weapon. Hey! I got it right about the name! But anyway, best to put him on CUTE because every time he gets pierced by B3-NK1's weapon, the more beautiful it gets.

(audience laughing)

You're sick, man. Sick as parrots.

Excuse me...who's that?!

Oh!

Shogunyan

(cheers and applause)

That's the legendary Yokai Shogunyan!

Legendary Yokai? There is such thing as Legendary Yokais?

What? Legendary Yokais are like Legendary Pokemon that you need to save the game first before getting them? Buddy, this is Yokai Watch. Not Pokemon. And Legendary Yokais require collecting specific Yokais to unlock them. Shogunyan is one of them.

But Shogunyan's like Jibanyan, only more powerful than him with his sword and armor. Wonder what else he can do?

(SLASH!)

Ahh! He's chopping the CUTE WALL! Everybody get out!

(static)

WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES...

Remind me not to bring a Legendary Yokai who likes to cut down everything without knowing.

Sorry about that. It's a shame to bring a Legendary Yokai like Shogunyan.

So, to clean up the mess he made, he should be in SERIOUSLY NOT CUTE. End of discussion.

(audience laughing)

Look. Enough Yokai for now. Let's put something different or we'll end up like this again. I'll be on the bathroom break. Be right back, okay?

Okay. Now, enough about Yokais for later and move on to other stuff because who else to like than Pokemon Sun and Moon's Mimikyu and Mareanie?

Mimikyu


Mareanie
(ooohh)

They're one of my favorite Pokemon to play in Sun and Moon and love their battle styles. Because Mimikyu's Disguise ability is like giving me one free turn of no hit, it gave me the chance to boost its attack power and then deliver a devastating blow. What I like about Mareanie is its Merciless ability that delivers a critical hit on poisoned opponents. Just imagine delivering the Acid Downpour Z-Move on the opponent that was poisoned by the Toxic attack. That's how I like them. They're cool...

(bang!)

(bang!)

Wha...?

What did I tell you about putting bad guys on the wall? Put it on SERIOUSLY NOT CUTE or I'll blow your head off.

Why?

They're Team Rocket stuff. Jessie has a Mimikyu, James has a Mareanie. And these bad guys belong to the SERIOUSLY NOT CUTE spot. Come on. Don't make me do this.

Okay, okay.... Sheesh...

(audience laughing)

TIME FOR THE RECAP!

SERIOUSLY NOT CUTE:
Raichu
Whisper
Minion
Nico Yazawa
Takane Shijou
Azusa Miura
Makoto Kikuchi
Anzu Futaba
Croagunk
Touma Amagase
Shota Mitarai
Hokuto Ijuin
Teru Tendo
Kaoru Sakuraba
Tsubasa Kashikawa
Kyouji Takajou
Minori Watanabe
Kyosuke Aoi
Yusuke Aoi
Shiki Iseya
Haruna Wakazato
Hayato Akiyama
Jun Fuyumi
Natsuki Sakaki
Rui Maita
Chio Hazama
Jiro Yamashita
Treecko
Jill Valentine
Rebecca Chambers
Claire Redfield
Ada Wong
Ashley Graham
Sheva Alomar
Helena Harper
Sherry Birkin
Moira Burton
Natalia Korda
Osomatsu
Karamatsu
Choromatsu
Ichimatsu
Jyuushimatsu
Todomatsu
Miyabi Fujiwara
Risa Shirakaba
Rin Kurosawa
Mia Fey
Rayfa Padma Khura'in
Buttercup
Yoshiko Tsushima
Sion Todo
Aroma Kurosu
Gaaruru
Hibiki Shikyoin
Ako Saotome
Yuri Katsuki
Victor Nikiforov
Grumpy
Chiri Tsukikawa
Lori Loud
Lucy Loud
Lola Loud
*Manjimutt
*Shogunyan
*Mimikyu
*Mareanie


NOT CUTE:
Dopey
Kwazii
Minion
Amethyst
Rin Hoshizora
Hibiki Ganaha
Minami Nitta
Ranko Kanzaki
Miku Maekawa
Kion
Fuli
Beshte
Bunga
Ono
Pierre
Scraggy
Bulbasaur
Squirtle
Cyndaquil
Turtwig
Sumire Hikami
Juri Kurebayashi
Nono Daichi
Hime Shiratori
Tsubasa Kisaragi
Yuzu Nikaido
Yozora Kasumi
Maya Fey
Pearl Fey
Ema Skye
Trucy Wright
Kay Faraday
Athena Cykes
Blossom
Mirai Kasuga
Shizuka Mogami
Tsubasa Ibuki
Shiho Kitazawa
Umi Kousaka
Julia
Megumi Tokoro
Yuriko Nanao
Serika Hakozaki
Anna Mochizuki
Kana Yabuki
Nao Yokoyama
Riko Sakurauchi
Dia Kurosawa
Mikan Shiratama
Junon
Kanon
Pinon
Mahiru Kasumi
Doc
Sleepy
Lily Shirogane
Pepper Taiyou
Lynn Loud
Lana Loud
*Dismarelda


CUTE:
Pichu
Plusle
Minun
Pachirisu
Emolga
Dedenne
Mokona
Mog
Catbug
Bashful
Froakie
Fennekin
Harukasan
Stuffy
Tunip the Vegimal
Minccino
Piplup
Sylveon
Queen Delightful
Axew
Jibanyan
Minion
Serena's Pancham
Umi Sonoda
Eli Ayase
Hanayo Koizumi
Maki Nishikino
Nozomi Tojo
Miki Hoshii
Yukiho Hagiwara
Iori Minase
Ritsuko Akizuki
Anastasia
Kanako Mimura
Chieri Ogata
Miria Akagi
Rika Jougasaki
Kirari Moroboshi
Riina Tada
Rin Shibuya
Mio Honda
Komasan
Komajiro
Grizz
Panda
Ice Bear
Clefairy
Jigglypuff
Chansey
Eevee
Tepig
Snivy
Chikorita
Charmander
Totodile
Torchic
Mudkip
Chimchar
Hinaki Shinjo
Madoka Amahana
Kokone Kurisu
Nina Dojima
Yume Njino
Rola Sakuraba
Laala Manaka
Bubbles
You Watanabe
Kanan Matsuura
Ruby Kurosawa
Hanamaru Kunikida
Mari Ohara
Sophy Hojo
Dorothy West
Reona West
Falulu
Fuwari Midorikaze
Koharu Nanakura
Sneezy
Non Manaka
Rowlet
Litten
Popplio
Togedemaru
Rockruff
Bounsweet
Lincoln Loud
Leni Loud
Luna Loud
Lisa Loud
Lily Loud
*USApyon
*Happierre
*Tomnyan
*K. Koma
*K. Jiro
*Hidabat
*Robonyan
*Robonyan F


NAKAKAGIGIL!!!:
Pikachu
BMO
Bijou
Poof
George
Happy
Chespin
Doc McStuffins
Mabel Pines
Sofia
Cottonee
Minion
Oshawott
Star Butterfly
Honoka Kousaka
Kotori Minami
Haruka Amami
Yayoi Takatsuki
Chihaya Kisaragi
Ami Futami
Mami Futami
Uzuki Shimamura
Noibat
Togepi
Squishy
Ichigo Hoshimiya
Aoi Kiriya
Ran Shibuki
Akari Ozora
Braixen
Chika Takami
Mirei Minami
Luan Loud

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