Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Let's Do The News! - New Year's Day! (January 1, 2013)

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2013


JC: It's now time to do the news and it's impossible because this is the week you're not expecting to be...

RH: Yeah, right. Feels like we're in the Twilight Zone...

(audience laughing)

JC: It's because we have the studio booked for today and we have to use it even though the year is now 2013.

RH: It's the past.

(Audience laughing)

JC: Imagine that in the last weeks of December 2012, and then you may have stomped a pesky little cockroach, you're creating a fixed time. As we all know, time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it’s more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly… time-y wimey… stuff.

(audience laughing)

RH: Timey-wimey. That's what that is...

JM: Anyway, instead of doing the news right now, we might to look up on what to expect on the year 2013 because this is going to be a really great year. As former DW lead actor David Tennant once said "I bet you're gonna have a really great year"...

(audience laughnig)

JC: Back off with that DW analogy because here's something I'm expecting on 2013...The All New Range Rover. Britain's legendary SUV must have taken some South Beach Diet and such weight loss made it great.

RH: Mine? What to expect on 2013 is....C7 Corvette.

C7 Corvertte Test Prototype
It's going to be a technically advanced Corvette ever using a newly developed LT1 engine that sounds great. I think it's going to be unveiled this One13Thirteen.

(audience laughing)

JC: Excuse me....One13Thirteen? What do you mean by that little man?

RH: Uh...I think it's some kind of a Twitter topic which translates to January 13, 2013. Or better yet, at this year's Detroit Auto Show...

JC: I see....because for second thought, I thought it was this....

A teaser for a new Alfa Romeo car

...says here um...THE ALFA ROMEO PROPHECY OF 2013 WON'T DISAPPOINT. I wonder what could that be? Do you think it's the Alfa 4C?

RH: Spoilers...

JM: Spoilers....

(audience laughing)

JC: Okay, spoilers that is. Let's pretend that it's a new wheel for Alfa Romeo models...

(audience laughing)

JC: Okay....what's next? What to expect more on 2013?

JM: The next generation Nissan Skyline...I guess...

JC: Say what?

JM: No kidding. The next generation Nissan Skyline...to be previewed via Infiniti's upcoming G37 Sedan replacement, the Q50.

Infiniti Q50 teaser

...as you may recall that beginning for the 2014 model year, all sedans and coupes will be branded Q while SUVs and crossovers are labeled as QX. It's a bit questionable for Infiniti's new naming scheme if you know what I mean, right?

JC: Yeah. Anyway, while mourning to the death of the Lexus LFA last year, there's a question that once sparked the horizon...is there life after Lexus LFA? That's an impossible question that nobody will answer. Hidden in plain sight....

(Audience laughing)

RH: Oh geez....DW playing around us eh?

JC: Anyway, while this question remains impossible for Lexus, 2013 sees the arrival of the new generation Lexus IS. NEW GENERATION.

JM: IS....Is it Infinite Stratos?

(Audience laughing)

JC: Sort of, Mr. dude who wears a stripey top all day. Ms. Houki Shinonono, your new IS is coming...

(audience laughing)

RH: How about Cecilia? Rin? Charlotte? Laura?

(audience laughing)

JC: Later for that. Anyway, while diddling about next generation IS, what to expect also on 2013?

RH: The small compact from Opel/Vauxhall. What's that name again?

JC: Adam.

RH: Adam? Eww!!! How come a manly name ever been placed on a compact car? Don't they think they should call it Eve?

(audience laughing)

JM: One of the thing's I'm also expecting on 2013 are the movies. There was MAN OF STEEL, a new movie starring a father-son tandem of Will and Jaden Smith, Iron Man 3, a new G.I. Joe movie, Catching Fire, the second chapter of The Hobbit movie....

RH: There's also a sequel to the THOR movie which also comes with Christopher Eccleston as the baddie....

JM: Despicable Me 2, a new movie from Disney Pixar, there's too many to list! Anyway, on TV sets...

JC: Oh wait! Hold it! It's almost time to say goodbye to the USA version of The Office. Kinda sad that my favorite on this series was Nellie Bertram. Awww....

RH: I see because that Nellie Bertram person was played by the same actress who did Donna Noble, Lauren Cooper, Nan, and others. Who was she again?

JC: Catherine Tate.

RH: Catherine Tate, that is! Guess when The Office is gone for good, it's the last for C Tate, right?

(awwww)

RH: It's so ashamed that 2013 will be the last for Ms. Catherine Tate....Awwww

JC: Okay cut it out little bro. Anyway, as we all know, Karen Gillain finished her stint as a Doctor Who partner Amy Pond but that doesn't mean that Karen Gillan's career is done because she's very busy in upcoming movies such as Not Another Happy Ending and also she's going to be part at some horror movie titled Occulus.

RH: So, you're going to see her in one of those, eh?

JC: Exactly. As for you Capt. OCD. Your souffle girl's waiting for you in the Spring...

(Audience laughing)

JC: Yep. Doctor Who Series 7 Part 2 coming soon this 2013 which features souffle girl!

(audience laughing)

JM: Don't be a moron Jezza. I know, that I'm through with souffle girl you know. Clara Oswald's the woman I'm expecting on the second half of Season 7.

JC: So...Clara Oswald...is she still souffle girl?

(audience laughing)

RH: Hey buddy! During her tenure as The Doctor's new companion, would you like to share some souffle recipes that will make you happy?

(audience laughing)

JM: Better knock it off with your souffle jokes you big daft c**k.

(audience laughing)

JC: Okay, okay. If that's what you want. Fine. But there's so many stuff to expect in 2013. So many, our list of list's getting too much to list. Let's see...there was Metal Gear Rising Revengeance coming exclusively on the PS3, To Aru Majutsu no Index movie, Nyaruko-san game for the PSVita (another first), second season of Oreimo, Haganai NEXT, second season of Kagaku no Railgun, a spin-off anime from Zettai Karen Children titled The Unlimited - Kyosuke Hyobu, Senran Kagura (a new anime based on the hit 3DS game), Steins Gate movie, another Tiger and Bunny movie,....

--SEVERAL HOURS LATER--

JC: GRID 2, Project CARS, Silent Hill Book of Memories, Crysis 3, Dead Space 3, God of War Ascension, Soul Sacrifice, another Accel World video game, Fate Extra CCC, Sword Art Online PSP game, Grand Theft Auto V....

-SEVERAL HOURS LATER--

JC: (snoozing)

(audience laughing)

RH: So...guess we're bored, eh? With so much lists of what to expect for 2013, you're trying to mention it all in one day right until you end up sleeping. That's just typical...

JM: And on that bombshell, that's the news. (yawn)...

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