Thursday, December 5, 2013

Chevrolet SS

Remember the Pontiac G8? Yes, it's that FR sports sedan we all indulged for and even though it was an import from Australia, judging by the fact that it's an Americanized Holden VE Commodore, the G8 is still the best V8 sports saloon you can afford. Sadly, this car went to its premature death and Pontiac was killed by General Motors since 2010 over the course of the credit crunch. It's kinda ashamed that Pontiac was officially dead three years ago and the G8 served as the last hurrah for the brand.

Now though, in order to fill the gap where the G8 left off, the folks from Chevrolet called up their Aussie mates from Holden and have their Holden VF Commodore be sold in North America as...a Chevy!

2014 Chevrolet SS

Like the previous Pontiac G8, the dead one, the Chevrolet SS was imported from Australia and even though it was essentially a Holden VF Commodore smothered with burgers and beef jerky, there's a bit of a difference between those two and mainly, their involvement in motorsports. Whereas the VF Commodore enjoyed its newly found reputation in Mt. Panorama, Bathurst, the Chevy SS enjoys itself in the field of NASCAR.

Sheesh, I hate NASCAR. Even Top Gear knows that "NASCAR Sucks", especially at the back of James May's old banger while the boys visited the Southern nation where they got attacked by rednecks. Anyone enjoyed the life of being a Gran Turismo fan has a potential of being a NASCAR fan and hey, since most of the 2013 NASCAR Chevy Power cars are going to be at GT6, this is just baloney. Dale Earnhardt Jr., Jeff Gordon, Jimmie Johnson, Juan Montoya, and Tony Stewart, those NASCAR racers got hooked over the raw power of the Chevy SS in stock car form but the most interesting for me is the #88 driven by Dale Earnhardt Jr. because...well, that's worth intimidating. I once had a game of Car Town streets and like you and I, we took advantage of Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s #88 National Guard CHEVROLET SS' special ability that scares rivals to slowing down. Don't be fooled, this is definitely made to intimidate foes.

If by intimidation, what about the normal SS? It may not be quite as toasty as the V8 Supercar tackling down Bathurst or as intimidating as a NASCAR, well most famously Dale Jr.'s, but in every angle, the new Chevrolet SS does have a little reminder that it has nods to the late Pontiac G8 while staying true to its roots to Chevy's past FR sports saloons. Famously, this is Chevrolet's first FR sports saloon for almost two decades since the fourth-generation Chevrolet Caprice & the seventh-generation Impala SS. Almost two decades? Just how long before Chevrolet managed to make a tail-happy sports saloon?

With prices start at around $43,475, think about it, the SS could be a poor man's BMW M5 but because this is not a suitable rival to the M5, the Chevrolet SS only laughs at the face of...a normal BMW 5-Series, a normal Audi A6, a normal Mercedes-Benz E-Class, an Infiniti M, or a Lexus GS. Well that's a theory even though the SS's pricing is worth competitive.

2014 Chevrolet SS

So, what do you get with such a budget that competes against the best of Europe and Japan? Well, for starters, the SS is only available with the 6.2L V8 engine, which is as identical to the one used in the latest Corvette Stingray. This one is different because the SS's V8 engine churns out 415HP of power and it's only mated to a 6-speed flappy paddle gearbox. I'm sorry what? Only available in a flappy-paddle gearbox? That's quite disappointing for harcore enthusiasts because while the VF Commodore is available with both auto and manual gearboxes, the SS is only available with a slush-matic which is a swift as throwing stuff left-handed. With the SS though, it's flappy-paddle or nothing, and this rather annoying gearbox can spoil your fun...or is it?

2014 Chevrolet SS

Apart from the stupid gearbox offered for this redneck version of Australia's favorite sports saloon, the SS is still a dynamically-challenged car. It's still as savage as Twisted Sister's You Can't Stop Rock and Roll and as enjoyable as using the laws of science to stop those glam rockers signing that kind of song. I'm thinking...dropping caravans, getting dragged by a van, a chainsaw, a flamethrower, a fire extinguisher, a double-barreled shotgun, TNT, hammer throw, nunchucks, baseball bats, an air mortar, gravity, and a baseball being thrown at it. Those kind of things. Brainiac things.

When you give it a run on a track day, the SS sure is a menace at the track and because it's been racetrack proven thanks to its sport-tuned suspension, combined with Electronic Power Steering, the SS is surely an executive saloon mixed with racetrack DNA, much like shocking Brainiacs through the electric fence. Still as interesting as this though. Also, the SS has a better weight distribution, so it feels more planted every time when you turn it into a corner, smooth as a cocktail mixed with anchovies, gravy, and raw milk. Should I spit or swallow? I'm guessing it's a spit. Now that's what I called the professional edge.

2014 Chevrolet SS interior

2014 Chevrolet SS interior
On normal roads, it's still as civilized as the Vicar of Dibley. It even has a luxurious interior, enough for five people to fit in. It also comes with iPod connectivity, Chevrolet MyLink, HUD, and tons of interior features that will keep them accommodated for hours but not at all. Surprisingly though, it even comes with a clever parking system that allows the car to park itself. You can think about making your last minute dressups or searching for lost objects while the car parks by itself. Thank heavens for technology.

So, what can I say about the SS? Well, even though it was a VF Commodore but born to take on NASCAR rather than enjoying itself on tracks like what its Holden VF Commodore do on V8 Supercars, it's still the executive car worth spending for and since I would gladly want to have one rather than those executive saloons from Europe and Japan, it's still the most enjoyable Chevy ever made, despite using the stupid 6-speed automatic. It's still the V8 saloon on a budget that picks up where the Pontiac G8 left off. You can thank the Aussies for some clever sophistication on this car. No wonder it's still worth the shot for those who are brave enough to have its TCS OFF and enjoy sacrificing its sports tires all in the name of science.

Available colors: Phantom Black Metallic, Red Hot 2, Silver Ice Metallic, Heron White, and Mystic Green.

Photo: General Motors

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