Saturday, March 9, 2013

Let's Do The News! (March 9, 2013)

(cheers and applause)

2014 Porsche Cayman
RH: Look buddy, I know I love this car because it's a Porsche.

JC: Yeah, I know you like Porsches because you are a sort of idiot who wants to go for an eye-checkup at EO...

(audience laughing)

RH: Ahem, that's a different Porsche. It's not the 911 you often mocked about 911 drivers often going to EO for some regular eye-checkups. What do you think about the Cayman?

JC: Well, although it's a baby Porsche, I'm still not sold to Porsches...

(audience laughing)

RH: Oh, come on...

JC: Anyway, let's do the news!

JM: Yes, indeed, and in addition to the upcoming Nendoroid Houki Shinonono, Good Smile Company announced another Infinite Stratos character to get the Nendoroid treatment. Here it is...

Nendoroid Cecilia Alcott
JC: Oh wait, it's the turn of the British! I know her!

RH: Yeah right, Cecilia Alcott, the British representative of the IS Academy! Guess we got ourselves a Brit!

(audience laughing)

JM: Yes, really, I know Cecilia's British but this upcoming Nendo would be a fit to my collection...

JC: Collection of what? British anime characters that were quintessentially British except they're speaking in Japanese language?

(audience laughing)

JC: By the way, aside from Cecilia, do you know any anime characters that turned out to be Brits?

RH: Uh, let's see, uh...There was Index from the To Aru franchise.

JC: Wait, Index's British?

RH: Yeah, say so in one scene in the anime where she had a British passport and predictably Index Librorum Prohibitorium was undeniably British...

JC: Oh...

(audience laughing)

JC: Who else is British?

RH: Evangeline A.K. McDowell, that vampire from Negima. Ana Coppola from Strawberry Marshmallow...

JC: Then there was Yomiko Readman from ROD. Everyone back in their highschool days should really remember this girl....

RH: Exactly, and then there's Saber from the Fate series who was inspired from the legendary knight from the legend of Camelot.


JC: Interesting, perhaps no wonder Bradley James and Colin Morgan got interested over the classic tale of Camelot when they did Merlin back then...

(audience laughing)

JC: Something puzzled me...Could Saber was heavily inspired from King Arthur, which was helped by a wizard named Merlin? Could Colin Morgan favorted Saber because she's more of King Arthur?

(audience laughing)

RH: Who knows, Jezza. Fandoms crossed over... He he he...

(audience laughing)

JC: Oh. Okay, I got some info more about the upcoming DLC for Metal Gear Rising Revengeance, a PS3 exclusive title. The first DLC arrives at the PlaystationStore in April 2 for 300 yen and for that DLC comes with additional VR Missions, which features some Dwarf Gekko missions, more Raiden-centered missions, and more that leads up to additional 30 VR missions. Also on the DLC, there's a special weapon called the Hebidamashii...

RH: Hebida...what now?

(audience laughing)

JC: It's a HEBIDAMASHII and it's some kind of special sword that when you equip this DLC weapon...

RH: When you equip it, what happen?

JC: You will hear Snake's voice when you equipped the Hebidamashii.

(audience laughing)

JC: No. I'm not joking. This DLC weapon means it. If you equipped it, you will hear Snake's voice and when you're using this weapon, you'll often hear some Snake dialogues...

RH: Oh...

JC: Sounds convincing but you have to wait until April 2 for this DLC but as a bonus, the first DLC will be offered free of charge from March 14 to April 1st. Again, not joking, Konami mean it because this is a special campaign for Rising players.

(cheers and applause)

JC: Special promotion. As Konami told you, the first DLC is available in April 2 for 300 Japanese Yen but from March 14 to April 1st, it's free of charge so don't miss out this special opportunity!

RH: Yeah! Don't miss out!

JC: So, can we move on?

RH: Yes, really...

JC: Anyway, a brand new Hayate no Gotoku TV anime series is coming next month and as I heard, this rebooted Hayate anime series, which comes with the same staff involved in 2011's Heaven is a Place on Earth movie and 2012's Can't Take my Eyes Off You anime, has a theme song that changes main lead and ending song in each episode.


JM: Interesting. A theme song where in every episode changes the main lead. What's it about?

JC: Well, the theme song of the rebooted series is titled "Cuties," and every episode will follow different characters and a different "route":

Episode 1: Hayate Ayasaki
Episode 2: Nagi Sanzenin
Episode 3: Atene TennĊsu
Episode 4: Isumi Saginomiya & Sakuya Aizawa
Episode 5: Hinagiku Katsura
Episode 6: Izumi Segawa & another character
Episode 7: Ruka Suirenji
Episode 8: Ayumu Nishizawa
Episode 9: Chiharu Harukaze & Kayura Tsurugino
Episode 10: Maria

RH: Oh...Sounds interesting...

JC: I know but it's kinda rubbish to have an anime where an opening song changes vocals every episode...

(audience laughing)

JC: Anyway, let's talk about the UN sanctions against North Korea since last month's nuclear test. I mean, what would a rogue state like North Korea do because the UN approved the new sanctions that target against "the evil Korea"?

(audience laughing)

JM: Well, in my opinion, I was thinking that because of the new UN sanctions, I bet that North Korea is getting more and more unruly until it wants to, I don't know but I guess we have to prepare for the worst...

JC: Yeah and those unruly North Koreans really getting ahead to kill us all until this country becomes the only one left...

JM: Uh-huh...but I have a sneaking suspicion to asked that the current leader, Kim Jong-Un...

RH: I know. He was been with Dennis Rodman back then when these two are watching a basketball match and I think these two are getting to know each other...Later on, they were getting to become BFFs....

(audience laughing)

JC: Best friends?

RH: That's just a speculation but what Dennis Rodman said to Kim Jong-Un, he needs to open up his heart. I mean come on out here...Sometimes even the most unruly of dictators need to show the good man inside but sadly though, this is a bit complicating...

JC: Yeah, too complicating... Anyway, big news. Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez...died. Natural causes but I think his poor health caused his death. Just wanna say, Rest In Peace, El Presidente...

(cheers and applause)

JC: Anyway, while on the talk about this year's Geneva Motor Show...the cars that grabbed our attention were the LaFerrari, the Lamborghini Veneno, and the McLaren P1. While we're not putting the Veneno on the subject because all three had been sold out let's talk about how does the LaFerrari and the P1 differ because both of these are hybrid engine-wielding supercars.

2014 McLaren P1

2014 Ferrari LaFerrari
JM: Yeah, I know those two were hybrid-engine-wielding supercars that produces combined power output of over 900HP of power but tell you what though, while both of these supercars excel in technology, I have to say that the McLaren P1 is better when it comes to emissions and pricing while the LaFerrari trounced the P1 because of its styling, power, and the Ferrari heritage.

JC: Thing is though, if I have a choice between these two, I'd pic the La Ferrari...

(audience laughing)

RH: What?

JC: La Ferrari! It translates to "The Ferrari" because it IS the Ferrari that ends all Ferraris, especially the Enzo it replaces and its current V12 grand tourer, the Ferrari F12 Berlinetta. And on that bombshell, that's the news....

Porsche Cayman (Typ 981c)

When you think about the Porsche Cayman, the first thought of you that this is just a ragtag hardtop version of the Porsche Cayman with the design that is not quite exciting to look at. Although, the design is rather bland, this is rather known to be one of the best handling cars in the history because like the Boxster cousin, the Cayman is the more agile car that gets you away from anyone before they discovered you're not. For this new version, the Cayman tries to become more tail-happy and more athletic than the previous model it replaces.

2014 Porsche Cayman
There's more to like about the new Porsche Cayman (Typ 981c) rather than noticing it has the same design as the latest Porsche Boxster 981 because being one of the most athletic and the most agile cars ever made for the market, the new Cayman really tries to open up some curves and grooves you like some New York jazz music with a hint of engine revving, a taste of Georges St. Pierre's flying punch on your face, and a bullet to the head that really ends all boring conversations you are facing with.

On the manifesto, the Cayman starts at 51,385 Euros and that pricing sure knows that it's cheaper than the latest Porsche 911 Carrera (Typ 991), that makes it good value for the Porsche fans around here. What you get on this standard model is a 2.7-litre engine mounted in the middle which produces 275PS of power and 290Nm of torque. Also, this is the first time this Porsche broke the magic 100 hp per litre displacement barrier for sports car engines because its specific power is 101.6 hp/litre. Sounds tempting to us but for those who want more power, the Cayman S model is offered with the improved 3.4L boxer-6 engine which comes with added 5HP more to the previous power output, therefore it's 325PS of power and 370Nm of torque.

In the S model, 0-100kph takes about five seconds and top speed of 283 km/h. in a 6-speed manual configuration. Sounds quick and if you're opting for the optional 7-speed double clutch transmission, the 0-100kph time is improved but the top speed with suffer. Still, who would want the double clutch as an alternative to the manual transmission because the digest shows that double-clutches shift faster than manual tranny? Neither do care about this mumbo-jumbo. He he he...

2014 Porsche Cayman interior
On the track, the new Cayman loves to eat corners more than Pac-Man munching a million dots. Every time when the new Cayman is ready on the track, it always goes "Eat em up! Yum yum!" every time when its overall enthusiasm is all fired up but what about on a normal day-to-day basis? Well don't get all "OVERALL ENTHUSIASM, OVERALL ENTHUSIASM, OVERALL ENTHUSIASM, YEE-HAW" on us because as a driver's car, the Cayman's not that desperately impractical because it has a boot on the front which is big enough to fit yourself of telling your friends that you've got a picture of yourself being bitten by Pac-Man.

Sadly though, like any other Porsches, the dashboard of the new Cayman is extremely confusing and it takes a man with an IT Qualification to operate the Cayman's features such as the ignition, the traction control, the parking brake, the optional Sport Chrono, or any other stuff you can find on the dashboard. This is a bit more complicating that operating a DSLR camera on the first try or a challenge from a Minute to Win It game.

Although despite a couple of drawbacks, the new Cayman is a reasonable machine that sure knows that OVERALL ENTHUSIASM really flows through your veins when its ready and thanks to some numerous track-munching enhancements and the comfort for day-to-day driving, the new Cayman sure knows how to balance it out. It's all work, all play, for this baby Porsche and I have to say, this car is more than welcome to become every man's dream car if they can't afford on the 911.

Photo: Porsche

"Tikman ang intense Korean anghang"

On the March 8, 2013 episode of Bubble Gang...

- Election poster gags for the EPALs...

- Mr. Assimo is on an emergency...

- The family revealed their shocking revelations...

- How's it feel for the Pinoy Macho Kings to win?

- Tikman ang intense Korean anghang. Bubble Gang does Lucky Me Supreme Jjamppong by spoofing this commercial as LUCKY VI SUPREME JJAMPPONG!

Bubble Gang does Lucky Me Supreme Jjampong

- Brod Pete and the gang are here again to answer life's complicating questions in Ang Bagong Dating Doon.

a) Carla Abellana asked "May nasusulat po ba tungkol sa lavandera ni Chris Tiu?"

Lets read from Rain or Shine 96...

"Ako'y isang sirena, kahit anong gawin nila bandera ko'y di tutumba. Drum na may tubig ang sinisisid. Naglalakihan mga braso sa akin dumidikdik. Sa patagalan ng paghibga, sa akin ay bibilib."

b) Mikael asked "may nasusulat po ba tungkol sa mabait na hayop?"

Ang Dating Doon reads... "banal na aso, santong kabayo, natatawa ako he he he he..."

c) A PM from someone asked "ano po ang tawag sa inaalagaan ng caregiver?"

The answer is CARETAKER because Give and Take...

d) "Sino po ba si Frankenstein?" Frankenstein was a doctor who made a monster named SHOWMAN...

e) Wrong Terms Brod Pete know? Let's see...

1) Students find a bit complicating on terms like Kindergarten, Preparatory, Elementary, High School, and College...

2) English lecture can be somewhat too complicating with terms like Apostrophe and Abbreviation. Can those terms need to be shorten?

3) What about the word Congratulations? If you get rid of an S on that word, that doesn't make any taste at all. Even a shortened term doesn't help that either if you get rid of an S on it...

- Beware, if this foreigner gets drunk, he's fluent in Bisaya...

- Quotes to live by from Tata Lino...

a) Huwag mong itulad sa schedule ng basura ang iyong pagsisipilyo. Naswerteng makakolekta dalawang beses sa isang linggo.

b) Ang barya, di nilalagay sa wallet pero itabi mo lang, malay mo magamit...

c) Huwag ka nang magpanggap na gustong maging masinop manas. Nakakatipid ka pa sa feminine wash...

d) Kahit gaanong karaming Sebo de Macho ang iyong gamitin, yung peklat lang sa balat ang kayang gamutin pero ang pilat sa iyong puso, malamang andun pa din.

- Acting Workshop for the actors who want to reshape their image...almost...

Forza Horizon: Cavallino Rampante

Dangerous Curves

Once started in life as a unicorn car in Forza Motorsport 4 but now it's a yours-to-keep car courtesy of Horizon's March Meguiar's Car Pack. The Ferrari 360 Challenge Stradale, which in a terribly confusing way, the road version of the racing version of a road car.

Of course the Ferrari 360 is one of the all time greats but for this Challenge Stradale, think of it as a 360 GTi. A sportier car with a more direct connection to the track made in honor of Ferrari's F1 World Champion title four years in a row from 1999 to 2002.

The Challenge Stradale weighs less than the standard model because it has carbon fiber door panels, removed carpets, carbon ceramic brakes, titanium wheel bolts, dual rear floor with F1-inspired flows, slightly longer nose, slightly modified sills, slightly necked boot and the rear is higher than the front.

Lighter, more aerodynamic, and faster than the normal 360 but is the Challenge Stradale better? Well, let your judgment be known...

Friday, March 8, 2013

Another Surprise Bwi-set

On the March 7, 2013's Banana Nite, here's one of the top stories from KANDILA;

"Sabah pinag-aagawan, isang tensyon ang namamagitan sa Pilipinas at ng Malaysia"

If by Sabah, no. Not the island where the menace occured. It's a kind of banana called SABAH...

"Isang Koreanobg Senior Citizen, kinidnap at hinostage"

A clip shows that kidnappers discarded the kidnapped Korean because he's a senior citizen...

Meanwhile, Ryan Bang's making a SURPRISE BWI-SET behind the set of an ABS-CBN sitcom called TODA MAX.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Hyundai Maxcruz

2013 Hyundai Maxcruz

Yes, most of you know that the third row seats of the current Santa Fe DM didn't quite fit but still most of you often want to have one of these. If the third-row seats on the Santa Fe DM were quite an issue, why not interest in this? Better known as the replacement to the Veracruz, which was discontinued last year, the brand new Hyundai Maxcruz is known to be the long wheelbase variant of the Santa Fe DM.

Yes really, it maybe the replacement of the Veracruz but the name, MAXCRUZ, is obviously weird. It's like it was named after someone named "Max Cruz". Yep, pun intended. Hyundai kinda gave it a person's name for the long wheelbase version of the Santa Fe DM.

2013 Hyundai Maxcruz interior
How does it compare it to the Santa Fe DM? On the outside view, the Maxcruz features a much more aggressive front face. In fact, the hexagonal grille now comes with four bars rather than three bars that the grille of the Santa Fe DM had. Then, the rear view of the Maxcruz is a bit more sophisticated than the Tucson-styled back that the Santa Fe DM had. Also, there has been a change in dimensions. The Maxcruz has an additional 100mm of wheelbase, 216mm long, and 11mm higher than the Santa Fe DM.

The Maxcruz also comes with an improved rigidity and an ultra-high strength tensile steel that improves collision energy management. Surprisingly, this ultra-high strength tensile steel reduces weight and also allows the suspension to work optimally. They were applied to those outer door panels for the first time in the company's history. Sounds interesting though...

2013 Hyundai Maxcruz interior
Shockingly though, the only engine available is the 16-valve e-VGT R2.2 engine which produces 200PS of power and 44.5 kg-m of torque while being mated with a 6-speed automatic transmission. 2WD variants will have a fuel economy of 11.9km/L while 4WD variants will have a fuel economy of 11.3km/L.

Just like the Santa Fe DM, the Maxcruz has the Flex Steer feature that changes the behavior of the handling. It has three modes - Comfort, Normal, and Sport. They're ideal in varying driving preferences and road conditions. Uh, yeah, right. They were ideal but what about some practical stuff?

If you go for the more expensive version, there's this cool feature that parks by itself. With this feature, the Maxcruz will find the applicable parking area and when it detects, stop here, shift to reverse and watch it park by itself. You can even feel it while wearing a blindfold! Get it?

The Maxcruz also comes with BlueLink telematics system combines safety, service and infotainment features to simplify owners' lives and reduce distracted driving. You can even use your smartphone as a substitute car key to open the Maxcruz or then start the engine as you were far away from the Maxcruz. That beats the everyday hassle of starting the car. Interesting...Those Koreans sure know how to make a smart car with smart features for added convenience...

Available colors are: Cream White, Mystic Beige, Sleek Silver, Hyper Metallic, Glacier, Red Merlot, Hunter Green, Arabian Mocha, Ocean View, and Timeless Black.

So, there we are. The Maxcruz from Hyundai. It may have a person's name for the Santa Fe LWB, it maybe available only in 2.2L diesel engine, it maybe start at 35,000,000 Won, and it maybe somewhat known to be the Veracruz successor but this is somewhat a sizing fit for a politician. The Maxcruz really addressed the issue where the third-row seating from the Santa Fe DM seems unfit and that's pretty good for a full-size Korean crossover. Sadly though, I'm not kinda sold to this one...

Photo: Hyundai Motor Company

Ara Mina, IHAW NA!

In 3/6/2013's Banana Nite, in the IHAW NA segment, Tito Bhoy interviewed guest celeb Ara Mina. He's asking whether if Ara Mina will accept some sexy roles, about posing some wacky poses on a men's magazine, and how does Tito Bhoy only has a wacky pose...

Meanwhile, Angelica checks out some more funny Facebook pics on ETO NA POST. And there's more establishments with crazy names such as MAMI PAKYAW, FACEBOOL, and ADOBO PUTOSHOP, warning signs such as SLOW MEN AT WORK, WAIT PAINT, and some SWEET SHIRT. These are some of a small selection in the Banana Split inbox...

And then, the TRES KUMPARES are cleaning out the garbage in the streets until some kid throws some and making it too miserable for the TRES KUMPARES...

Adam Ferrera takes over TG

In US Top Gear, residential blockhead Adam Ferrera takes over the show just to show off his crazy moves...

First, he tries out his childhood dream, the Ford GT40 and then challenge Rutledge Wood and the Ferrari 550 Maranello to a series of races showcasing the decade-old rivalry between Ford and Ferrari.

After Rut kicked Adam out in the endurance race, Tanner Foust showed up just to lap between the GT40 replica and the Ferrari 550 round the track. In the end, the GT40 lapped faster than the 550.

Then, Adam invited Tanner and Rut to play American Football A Top Gear idea - American Car Football with Rut, Adam, Tanner, and some demolition derby crew...

After minutes of struggling and a close call, car football is somewhat an exciting game...

At the end of this Adam Ferrera-centered episode, he defined the safest concept car designed to protect you from other drivers, especially race boy Tanner Foust.

What to see at the 83rd International Motor Show and Accessories?

The 83rd International Motor Show and Accessories at Geneva, Switzerland runs from March 7 to March 17, 2013 and say, what to see on this motor show? No girls, please? Try to focus on world premieres such as full model changes of your favorite cars, new models debutantes, concept cars, and so much more.

Here's the list of the cars you'll be seeing on this year's Geneva Motor Show...

2014 Alfa Romeo 4C
2013 Alfa Romeo Disco Volante Touring
2013 Alfa Romeo Gloria Concept
2014 Aston Martin Rapide S
2013 Aston Martin Vanquish Centenary Edition
2013 Aston Martin Vanquish Q
2014 Audi A3 Sportback g-tron
2013 Audi A3 e-tron Concept
2013 Audi RS5 DTM
2014 Audi RS6 Avant
2014 Audi RS Q3
2014 Audi S3 Sportback
2014 BMW 3-Series Gran Turismo
2014 Bentley Flying Spur
2013 Bentley Mulsanne
2013 Brabus 800 Roadster
2014 Chevrolet Corvette C7 Stingray Convertible
2014 Chevrolet Trax
2014 Citroen C3
2013 Citroen Technospace Concept
2014 Dacia Logan MCV
2014 Ferrari LaFerrari
2013 Ferrari Sergio Concept
2013 Honda Civic Tourer Concept
2014 Infiniti Q50
2013 Italdesign Parcour Concept
2014 Kia Pro Ceed GT
2013 Kia Provo Concept
2013 Lamborghini Veneno
2013 Land Rover Defender Electric Concept
2013 Land Rover Evoque Black Design
2014 Maserati GranTurismo MC Stradale
2013 Mazda 5
2014 McLaren P1
2014 Mercedes-Benz A45 AMG
2014 Mercedes-Benz C63 AMG Edition 507
2014 Mercedes-Benz CLA-Class
2014 Mercedes-Benz CLS63 AMG S-Model
2014 Mercedes-Benz E-Class
2014 Mercedes-Benz E-Class Cabriolet
2014 Mercedes-Benz E-Class Coupe
2014 Mercedes-Benz E-Class Estate
2014 Mercedes-Benz E63 AMG
2014 Mercedes-Benz E63 AMG Estate
2013 Mini Clubman Bond Street
2014 Mini Paceman John Cooper Works
2013 Mitsubishi CA-MiEV Concept
2013 Mitsubishi GR-HEV Concept
2014 Nissan Leaf
2014 Nissan Note
2013 Opel Adam Rocks Concept
2013 Opel Cascada
2014 Peugeot 2008
2014 Porsche 911 GT3
2013 Porsche 911 GT3 Cup
2014 Porsche Cayman
2013 Qoros 3 Cross Hybrid Concept
2013 Qoros 3 Estate Concept
2014 Qoros 3 Sedan
2014 Renault Captur
2014 Rolls-Royce Wraith
2014 Seat Leon SC
2014 Seat Mii Ecofuel
2014 Skoda Octavia Combi
2013 Spyker B6 Venator Concept
2013 SsangYong SIV-1 Concept
2013 Subaru Viziv Concept
2014 Suzuki SX4
2013 Toyota Auris TS Black Concept
2013 Toyota FT-86 Open Concept
2013 Toyota RAV4 Adventure Concept
2013 Toyota RAV4 Premium Concept
2013 Toyota i-Road Concept
2014 Volkswagen Cross Up
2014 Volkswagen Golf GTD
2014 Volkswagen Golf GTI
2014 Volkswagen Golf R Cabriolet
2014 Volkswagen Golf Variant
2014 Volkswagen XL1
2013 Volkswagen e-Co-Motion Concept
2014 Volvo S60
2014 Volvo S80
2014 Volvo V60
2014 Volvo V60 Plug-in Hybrid
2014 Volvo V70
2014 Volvo XC60
2014 Volvo XC70

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Forza Horizon: Badlands Rumble

The arrival of the March Meguiar's Car Pack on Forza Horizon sees the arrival of three new-to-Forza German cars for us to joyride. Yes, those three new cars are German; one is a high-performance wagon, one is a rear-wheel drive hatchback, and one if a high-performance offroader. Need to say more?

This is a wagon you'd promised for...

First is this, the all new Audi RS4 Avant. Like its previous model, it has the same 4.2L V8 that produces the same power that you would expect from an M3 Coupe but without drawing quite so much attention to it. Like its previous model, that exhaust note kinda feels like a tribute to Pavarotti. It's as sonorous as the Chinese name of the Chevrolet Camaro (Ke Mai Luo) and this is the kind of car that doesn't want to kill you. Yes, really, the ride's good, the quattro permanent all-wheel drive's keeps you out in the crash zone and it's not as complicating to drive as the other cars. It maybe idiotic in the exterior design but the driving feel is not quite idiotic until you're starting to behave like a cannibal...

The one and only rear-wheel drive hatchback

For the first time in racing video game history, the second-generation BMW 1-Series has arrived and what you see here is the M135i, the newest member of the BMW M Performance Automobiles that were a bunch of normal BMW's with M genes included to deliver M-style precision in a normal Bimmer. Bimmer fans concerned about the discontinuation of the BMW 1M Coupe in Easter 2012 were soon reassured by the arrival of a much hotter version of the BMW 1-Series hatchback. While the M135i prove to be more than a worthwhile replacement for the 1M but the performance figures are a bit lacking. Despite all this, let's just remember that this is the only rear-wheel drive production hatchback we can all enjoy in Horizon. It's like The Doctor, who was the last of the time lords. The blend of wit, excitement and drama on the M135i were all here.

Oh, and beware of the military troops hunting you

Fans of Top Gear USA might remember that Tanner Foust once drove the G63 AMG while being hunted by the US Army and in the end, Tanner was busted by the army. Now, this is the much more bigger brother of the 63, the V12 powered G65 AMG. While it looked identical to the G-Wagen that Tanner drove while being chased by the army, the G65 is boosted with the 6.0L V12 twin-turbo engine mated with an AMG SPEEDSHIFT PLUS 7G‑TRONIC automatic transmission system. An AMG V12 engine with a 7-speed gearbox? Whoa, but this isn't the first time the G65 comes with that, it's the latest AMG SL65 that gave credit for it. But still, with all that brute power, luxurious interior, and the off-road capability that can make use in the game of KING or INFECTED at the Carson Golf Course near the Media Center, the G65 is truly a force to be reckoned with...

Oh yes, this would be a Badlands Rumble when those three came together to show off THE MOVES...

Enrique Gil, IHAW NA!

On March 5, 2013's Banana Nite, in the IHAW NA segment, we saw Tito Bhoy interviewing guest celeb Enrique Gil and Enrique teaches Tito Bhoy how to dougie...

Then, Melai introduces the top five tips on how to prevent your phone getting snatched by snatchers.

5) Record the message "I snatched the phone! I'm a snatcher! Call the cops!" and then use it as ringtone. If you have a reserve phone, call the phone that was snatched by the snatcher!

4) Add a time bomb on your phone. If he snatched your phone, ready yourself with a detonator and blow it away!

3) Don't take the cellphone off your bag. Instead, put your bag on your head and answer the call.

2) Try to give the phone to the snatcher and have him fooled.

1) Don't bring your cellphone!

Meanwhile, Angelica showcases the most hillarious Facebook pics in Eto Na Post. It showcased establishments giving crazy names

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Forza Horizon: Barn Find Classic

The BMW M1 is an instant classic

Well, I'd never talked about the barn finds I have found in Forza Horizon, it's perhaps because I'd never gotten the chance to talk about it but now, I am.

This is one of the barn finds you can find on Horizon, and that is the BMW M1. By the moment I found this one and only Bimmer supercar, I got to know what is like to be driven in one of the most legendary Bimmers in the history and gotta tell you that it's a bit tricky to master it first but if I put in all of my effort of mastering the M1, boy do I got that reward?

Audi RS5 Cabriolet

Now let's move on to the Audi RS5. As told from Top Gear, the RS5 is not a decent alternative to the BMW M3, heavier than the BMW M3, not a successor to the fire-breathing Audi quattro and can be sometimes a terrible rubbish. Now however, Audi has come up with a new variant of the RS5...

2014 Audi RS5 Cabriolet
This is the Audi RS5 Cabriolet. Just like the RS5, it has quattro all-wheel drive that you can still reach incredible angles and rescue it but for the sake of neck-breaking pleasure. Like the RS5, it too has a 4.2 FSi V8 engine that produces 450HP of power. That's about the same power that you'll get on the upcoming C7 Corvette Stingray, if I'm honest. At the starting price of around 88,500 Euros, that's about as cheaper than the latest BMW M6 Cabrio or the Jaguar XKR-S Convertible! Hmmm...

That doesn't seem bad for a car that costs less than the M6 or an XKR-S but on the subject of the RS5, I can also expect some party piece that fires a droplet of exhaust, meaning that this car uses some petrol to make changing gear sound nice. Yes, really, the exhaust note of the RS5's pretty dramatic but this is the cabriolet version. And if by cabriolet, let's called it the ruined version of the RS5 because the weight has only gone up by around 200kg and the height has been lowered by over 20mm. With all the added weight on the RS5 Cabriolet, 0-100kph takes about 4.9 seconds and top speed normally limited to 250kph while being mated with a 7-speed dual clutch transmission, the one with the party piece I was talking about where the world's precious resources has been converted to noise.

In partial terms of driving the RS5 Cabriolet the feeling with the roof open is simple. You can listen to that exhaust note very clearly, which in fact, you can get high on to that noise as long as you want but don't if you are in a very cold place where closing the roof is mandatory. It might be best if you are in the world's best driving roads where you can freely open the roof, forget about the radio, and enjoy what's in store in the open road. This is about as cheeky as Chummy but in the corners, expect catastrophic understeer. It's got the power but when you're cornering the RS5, it kinda feels like you are going to eat the whole chocolate cake of be sent to the chokey. Ouch. Gosh, I don't wanna be in the chokey. I'd rather just eat the whole chocolate cake and get outta here before facing the most deadly consequence known to little kids many.

However, if you're in the city, the RS5 Cabriolet is not the kind of car you would use on a day-to-day basis because as you going around in the streets, people are starting to get you noticed that you are going to the wrong party in the wrong clothes. Say you are wearing your everyday work clothes and then you're entering your party only to find out that it's a costume party and you don't even have a costume. Also worse that you are bumping yourself at the frat house where you'll meet up with a bunch of trash-talking males boozing around for a couple of minutes and then sharing their experiences about bullying, skipping school, and other stuff that most idiots do in their university life. If you are driving this car while you are heading to the prom or to the opening gala hosted by your boss, it feels like you think you are Sir Chief...Oh wait, I'm not a Sir Chief, I'm an oxymoron driving an Audi! Ugh, there goes the pigsa in my back...

In essence then the RS5 Cabriolet is the kind of car that feels like there's something on your back and that "something" on your back is just an average pigsa, waiting to be squished...

Photo: AUDI AG

Let's Do The News! (March 5, 2013)

(cheers and applause)

2013 Volkswagen The Beetle Cabriolet

JM: So, you were saying that there was no existing console video game featured the 21st Century Beetle?

JC: I tell you what, it's because most blokes from video game publishers often want to "turn left" and if by "turn left", I mean of course, going back from the previous century. That's the problem with racing video games featuring licensed cars. They always wanna turn left and prefer only cars from the 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's, the list goes on and on...

JM: Hmmm, what about present times?

(audience laughing)

JC: That's something I can't tell you about and oh! Tell you what? Let's do the news!

RH: Now, one of my favorite Porsche 911 of all time, the 911 GT3, has now received the full model change and based on the 991 model, the new 911 GT3 will be debuted at this year's Geneva Motor Show. Check this out...

2014 Porsche 911 GT3
JC: Oh my goodness....

RH: What's about the GT3 is an uprated 3.8L flat-6 engine which develops 450 horsepower, 0 to 60 in 3.5 seconds, mated with a double-clutch gearbox and...

JC: And you better need to get some eye checkups at EO...

(audience laughing)

RH: ?????

JC: Cause I tell you what, this GT3 version of the 991 911 is the kind of car a certain idiot would have if he has poor eyesight and needs to have an eye checkup at EO...

JM: EO? Himmel EO?

(audience laughing)

JC: No, Executive Optical. That's EO. Also, what I'm thinking about this car that because everything's changed on the 911 GT3, you'd have to dress yourself as Tekken's Xiaoyu to enjoy it or iM@S' Azusa Miura...

(audience laughing)

RH: So, fat boy in suit, as you were saying you have to be either Xiaoyu or Azusa Miura to enjoy this Executive Optical that has been beefed up with PDK and a boxer enigne uprated for perfection... Are you sure about that?

JC: Yes. And since you like 911s, guess this is your responsibility to dress yourself as Xiaoyu or Azusa Miura and get inside the new GT3 just to find out how c*ck of an oxymoron you are.

(audience laughing)

JC: Anyway, there's a brand new Lamborghini coming at the Geneva Motor Show and it's a car that celebrates 50 years of Lamborghini. Here it is...

2013 Lamborghini Veneno

JC: This is what they called, never mind about that name. What this new car is that it was based on the Aventador, V12 engine now has 750HP, costs a million pounds, limited to three, and...

JM: And already sold out....

JC: What?

JM: Already...sold out.

(audience laughing)

JC: Oh, really. Guess because the car with a stupid name is already sold out, guess we're not going to try it round the track. What a relief though...

(audience laughing)

JM: Yeah, and what was that name of that car?

JC: I don't know...It's something spelled V-E-N-E-N-O.

JM: Veneno?

(audience laughing)

JC: Yeah, Veneno...Kinda sounds like Neneko...

RH: Oh gosh...

(audience laughing)

JC: Oh, hey! Hey! I have a little story to tell.

RH: What story is it about? Do you mean at the time that you have to bang your head everytime when you seen a picture of Miss Jenna Lousie Coleman in the "souffle" search term?

(audience laughing)

JC: Oh, no no no no....Because when I was busy making tweets at twitter, there was that girl I've encountered. That girl told me that I like iDOLM@STEr and she, too, was an iM@S fan. She also explained that her favorite iM@S character was Haruka Amami. Just a little tidbit that I'm gonna share it to you, pals.

JM: Wait, wait, wait...So you were saying that this girl you've encountered, she's an iM@S fan and Haruka Amami's her favorite character. What does she look like?

(audience laughing)

RH: Yeah, what does this mystery girl look like?

JC: I have a sneaking suspicion that this girl...Kinda look like "souffle girl"

RH: Oh geez....

(audience laughing)

JC: Of course, I have some kind of "Oswin Oswald tendencies" on my head. I just can't get away that this person I've just encountered on the internet really really reminded me of souffle girl. To be honest, I have a sneaking suspicion that this person might be named Clara...

JM: Clara, as in, Clara Oswin Oswald?

(audience laughing)

JC: Sort of...She looks like Clara, talks like souffle girl, except she's an iM@S fan. She's not a souffle girl, but more of a carbon copy...A carbon fiber copy...Mmmmm...

(audience laughing)

JC: Anyway, while on the subject of iM@S, while most mobage subscribers are enjoying Cinderella Girls, it seems that social media network GREE decides to have a shot at it. With the help of game maker, Bandai Namco, GREE launched a new iDOLM@STER social game that will rival mobage's Cinderella Girls.


JM: Yes, it is. It's called MILLION LIVE. And just like Mobage's iM@S Cinderella Girls, you have different choice idols for you to produce but just like Cinderella Girls, this is nothing more of a collectible card game.

RH: Right, just like in Cinderella Girls, players pay some cash, real cash it is, to draw a random idol that they train and compete with. Most are NORMAL, some are RARE, while few are SUPER RARE so the odds of getting a specific card differs depending on how much money you spend it on, especially after you prepare to sell your house, kidneys and your grand-children's future.

(audience laughing)

 JM: Thing is though, as of now, there are 50 idols available (with more to be added later) and thing is though that there are three types of idols such as VOCAL, DANCE, and VISUAL.

RH: Each idol is different in stats and if a producer seized its opportunity against the odds, with the right training and the right idols, they will progress further to become a TOP IDOL. Well, this is much more like the Cinderella Girls game to be honest. There were NORMAL, RARE, SUPER RARE, and others. There's so many variations of each idol and each variation comes with different stats.

JM: Yeah, this needs a lot of experimenting to do, Hamster...

(audience laughing)

VW The Beetle Cabriolet

The 21st Century Beetle from Volkswagen is a modern take to the iconic people's car with many names. Although it doesn't have any luck finding car racing games to feature this modern take of an iconic classic, the 21st Century Beetle tries to impress the crowd with its modern features while retaining the decade-old legendary heritage that shapened the Volkswagen brand for years.

Most car enthusiasts told me that they didn't like the 21st Century Beetle because those headlights look gawdy even when they put some eyelashes on it. Get it? Those Beetle headlamps with some eyelashes on it can be somewhat a terrible rubbish and because they're men, they prefer to turn left. Turn left as in going backwards, way way back to the Beetle of the 60's because for those men, classic is better than modern. Really? Perhaps that's why there are no console racing games of today would have featured the 21st Century Beetle? Comments? They said the G-word that composed of three letters, starts with G and ends in Y, two consonants and one vowel. What's that word? Never mind about that...

2013 Volkswagen The Beetle Cabriolet
Thing is though that Volkswagen launched an open-top Cabriolet version you look at that, the Beetle that some say it was made for girls now even more girlier with the roof opened. I just can't think of any word that best describes this Beetle Cabriolet. No no no...don't call it New Beetle Cabriolet cause there's going to be some confusion between two different generations. Anyway, the car...

It's like the 21st Century Beetle, it has the same styling features as the hardtop model, the same "would-be-perfect-for-girls" look that feels like it can put some makeup on it and show off to your friends at Beverly Hills 90210 but because this is a cabriolet version of The Beetle, it's an open-top west coast cruiser where girls just wanna have fun, even Barbie...(laughing)

Even though it has a soft-top roof on the girl-laden Beetle, there's this dreary switch which opens this dreary top for just a dreary 9.5 seconds and you'll have to wait for 11 seconds to close it. Dreary? Oh wait, I often said this word a couple of times. What's dreary, anyway? No clue why I used that word. Perhaps I must look that up to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary and find out...

2013 Volkswagen The Beetle Cabriolet
Well, since I am too far from the Merriam-Webster dictionary, let's talk about more from The Beetle Cabriolet. Well, prices start from around 21,350 Euros and engine choices consist of a 1.2 TSi, 1.4 TSi, 2.0 TSi, 1.6 TDi, and 2.0 TDi. If you were given a choice, I think that the ones with big power is a bit too much and therefore, might be best to pick the smaller one. A 1.2 TSi petrol enigne would be enough for a start so it's best not to bother the ones with the bigger power on it. That's a bit too dry.

As for the handling, well, like the hardtop equivalent, it's a bit nicer to drive but only if you are a girl who are aged 20 or 30. This works well if you are in a posh place like, for example, Beverly Hills, Milan, Paris, Tokyo, or any other posh place a girl might know about.

Perhaps no wonder most console racing games of today often rejected the idea of featuring the 21st century Beetle in a racing game but it if was such thing as a racing game that features this kind of Beetle, I would be delighted to have one but no thanks, I think I got this...

For a day-to-day basis, The Beetle Cabriolet is not much of an attention grabbing but if you see a male driving this kind of car, the only thing you're embarassing is yourself. It's much worse as wearing a speedo on a beach. Loincloth? No no no....That's also much worse than a speedo. (laughing)

Sadly for me, I don't think this 21st Century Beetle Cabriolet is not the ideal car for me. It's a girl's car only Barbie would have wished for and then place some eyelashes on it. Now if you would mind, I'd better off to some talks about why the 21st Century Beetle hasn't got a chance to be on video games...

Photo: Volkswagen

Surprise BWI-SET!

In one of Kandila's top stories from March 4 2013's Banana Nite, ISANG TAXI, NABANGGA SA POSTE! Reason? Taxi driver's asleep! Also, ISANG BAGONG GANG, NANGBIKTIMA SA BUONG KAMAYNILAAN! Who are those? It's the Lagay-Sungay Gang.

Then, Ryan Bang makes a SURPRISE BWI-SET at the set and cast of Paraiso TV drama!

Monday, March 4, 2013

Forza Horizon: Why I need more hot hatches...

Forza Horizon has it all; from European exotics, American muscle cars, Asian tuners, hot hatches, classics, anything that this game has in store for gamers like me. Anyway, when I said hot hatches, yes they have those hot hatches but sometimes as for me, not all hot hatches are created equally. Sure the main point of an hot hatch is to be as fun as a supercar but you can have a boot, some amenities, anything that made you as spoiled as a spoiled brat. However, I don't think there was some kind of a hot hatch that really tickles my nerves. I mean come on, the best hot hatch you can find is from a French car company which I'm afriad wasn't part of the Horizon game. It's still a mystery when will this "best hot hatch" come to Horizon soon but in the meantime, I have to check over the alternatives and as for me, the results came up none because none of these hot hatches seem to please me, not even this one...

Messing up the warehouse

I tried out the 2013 Ford Focus ST on Horizon and after a few more minutes, I really want to sum it up if this one's an ideal hot hatch for a Horizon gamer like me but it's not that very easy to describe the qualities of the 2013 Focus ST. Under the bonnet is a 2.0L EcoBoost engine that produces about 250PS of power and 340Nm of torque. Zero to 100kph takes about 6.5 seconds and flatout in about 248kph.

Of course, a true hot hatch needs to be sharp, agile, and overall more fun to drive like what you felt on the supercar and seems that the Focus ST...doesn't do those things.  Sure, it has a sport-tuned suspension that is capable on the corners but the steering precision is a bit too harsh for me. There's a bit of an understeer, a bit of torque steer, and it's about as busy as a regular third-generation Ford Focus.

Kaa-kaa!!! Kaa-kaa!!! Oh, what did I just do?

Something tells me that the front view doesn't look pleasant on the Focus ST because it reminded them of some super-deformed character that goes like this..."Kakka! Kakka! Kakka!". Oh, what did I just do? Am I doing the "kakka! kakka!" noise right now? Wait a minute, I shouldn't talk about that or do I? (laughing)

It's a long weekend ahead on us

Despite its drawbacks to its steering, it's problematic revs, the design, and about as busy as a normal third-generation Focus, there are a couple of things that you'll praise about the 2013 Ford Focus ST such as the EcoBoost engine that powers it and the torque. You have to be a major major hooligan to get yourself drunk inside the 2013 Focus ST's underbelly but at what cost? Your dignity? Nah, this hot hatch from Ford is always accessible to every "speedo boy" in the world.

Sadly though the ST is not the type of Focus enthusiasts might like because according to them, the best Focus ever made was the Euro-only RS model but which Focus RS?

Could be handy if I was followed by more than one shadow

Let's skip from that question and move on to the Focus RS I might like about and that's the RS 500. The Ford Focus RS 500. As the name says it all, this final edition model of the European 2nd generation Ford Focus is limited to 500 units (101 of them are in the UK) and what to expect on the RS 500 is an improved 2.5L turbo engine that produces 345bhp of power, zero to hundred sprint in 5.4 seconds and flatout in 165mph. It's the fastest Focus ever made and the best Focus that enthusiasts love is the best Focus...for the priviledged few because all 500 units had been spoken for.

The Black Panther

Thanks to some very clever front differential, the grip is just right, not like the sluggish handling from the 2013 Ford Focus ST if I might say. It's also well balanced as well. This is just the perfect Focus everybody in Horizon really wants because it really has a well balanced chemistry of power and precision. I like that way.

Invited to the party? Oh yes you are...

The Focus RS500 is the best Focus I have ever driven in Horizon but when it comes to search for a perfect hot hatchback, thing is though that even I liked the Focus RS500, perhaps I can do better than that... There are some hot hatches coming soon on Horizon and delving through the hot hatch underbelly offers me a lot of choices to make...

Speaking of which, condolences to those Ford fans in Japan's too bad that Japan won't get the 2013 Focus ST even though that the third-generation Ford Focus is now available in Japan in hatchback only and sourced from an ASEAN country that starts with a letter T.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Forza Horizon: V10-powered cousins

A Black Knight in Shining Armor

This is the Audi R8 GT, it's somewhat an improved version of the Audi R8 V10, which in the world of Forza, was one of the best cars I have ever driven since FM3 and for a car that is limited to 333 units worldwide, the R8 GT has an updated 5.2L V10 engine that produces about the same power as the Gallardo LP560-4. That's right, the GT version develops about 560HP of power! Think about it though, for a car that really doesn't have a sense of humor (no matter the corny punchline you'll throw), the R8 GT is definitely a serious lightweight exotic that was trimmed down for perfection and using the knowledge of Audi's motorsport enrichment since Le Mans....

Into the dark skies

Because the V10 engine's upgraded and it lost a hundred kilograms thanks to Audi's consistent use of lightweight materials, 0-60mph time is 3.6 seconds and on a straight, it goes about 320kph according to the manufacturer. It terms of driving feel, the R8 GT is really a sharp handler on its own right. Even though it's a 4WD exotic with its engine mounted at the middle, the R8 GT sure knows how to dance in the corners unlike any other 4WD cars that goes too much grip. It really tickles my instincts but sometimes it really bores me a lot, sort of...

R8 GT showing the nite grooves

Surprisingly though, because the Audi R8 is just a German take of the Lamborghini Gallardo despite the fact that the R8 has some of the Lamborghini components, I was gonna think that the GT version is the Audi equivalent of the Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera but question is, is the R8 GT better than its Italian stalemate?

It's the Superleggera, hear it roar

The lesser the weight, the more interesting it gets

Uh....this is somewhat too much because while the Audi R8 GT is all about being a serious driver's car, the Gallardo Superleggera is all about being insane. While having the insane V10 engine, same as the R8 GT's, the insane V10 noise, the insane design that present Lambos get, and its Lamborghini quality, the Gallardo Superleggera really thinks that the R8 GT tries to mimick its moves and by judgement, comparing between the R8 GT and the Superleggera is confusing but hey, it seems that the Superleggera was there in the first place of being the lightweight version of the Gallardo and by terms of Superleggera; less weight, more fun. The Audi R8 GT is quite somewhat a carbon copy of the Gallardo Superleggera because they both have improved V10s and they both gone to the South Beach Diet.

What's this? A ray of light coming?

When I drove both the R8 and the Gallardo, those experiences I felt on these cars are pretty much the same but sometimes different, depending on my driving style, road conditions, and their moment of truth. Only someone with a keen judgment can decide which of these two is the better bet and as it turned out, it's not that easy picking a winner between these two...

Try driving these two and you'll see the difference...
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Ask comments and questions here!