Tuesday, October 28, 2014

HALLOWEEN 2014: Loser candies to avoid

*This post is a carry-over from one of my last year's Halloween special posts.

Loser Candy

Well, it's that time of the year again when the kids dressed up as their favorites and then head out to the suburbs to get some candy for the fun of it. Of course, being kids, they are too picky and they don't like "loser candy" which is a term as heard from a Gravity Falls episode. The loser candy probability can be somewhat CRITICAL and you'll never know when will loser candy hits you, making your trick-or-treating the worst so what are the "loser candies" you should avoid this Halloween?

1) Sugar-free candy

As kids, they have cravings for sugar coated confectionery but some neighbors think they are concerned because of, well, diabetes or toothache, and what they will do is taking the reversal that is...sugar-free candy. They may look like candies but sadly...no sugar. If you encounter those, AVOID. Oh and if you're diabetic and if you don't want the risk of losing a leg, don't go trick-or-treating. Just saying...

2) Pixy Stix

These powdered candy known as Pixy Stix is far out one of the worst candies to avoid for Halloween because they're far too...well, bland for their taste and sweetness. It's about as rubbish as...drinking unsweetened tea at McDonald's.

3) Chocolate-dipped apples

Come on, no kid in the world wants that. These apples dipped in chocolate on a stick are considered "loser candy" because...no kid of today likes fruits disguised in chocolate. See one of these from your neighbors and AVOID.

4) Hard candy

Whether if it's mint flavored, fruit flavored, or for worse, taste like medicine, this is the one to avoid because there is a risk that your teeth can't handle the hardness. If I were in that situation, I would rather just swallow it rather than biting it.

5) Mounds or Almond Joy

They may look like chocolate but when you ate one of those...(vomiting) Why would they made these piece of crud? Nobody likes those for Halloween!

6) Jelly belly

These beans taste like plastic and no matter the color and the taste of those, they will always taste like plastic. AVOID these loser beans on Halloween.

7) Candy corn

Invented by a Philadelphian, candy corn is made of wax, sugar, and corn syrup. By the looks of it, it looks like a corn's kernel but if you manage to eat one...these candy corns can be a bit blah and makes you as disappointed as a man during the Great Depression. AVOID this loser candy when you see one.

8) Licorice

Licorice is considered a "loser candy" and best to avoid one of these if you don't want your jack-o-lantern get jacked up with a pile of rubbish.

9) Circus Peanut

As Candy from Gravity Falls may say "Circus peanut? This is loser candy!"

10) Wax candy

From wax lips to wax cola bottles, these wax candies are the ones to avoid as well because...who would rather eat some wax or something? Ahem...wax is...like...Wax Museum or Star Wax of polishing wax of whatever...who would eat wax as a candy?!

11) Necco Wafers

These two-centuries old candies are the king of "loser candies" because not only it's old but the chalky taste of those thin candy wafers in a pack makes it the ultimate "loser candy" to avoid this Halloween.

12) Asian candies

WATCH OUT! Some of your neighbors bought out some candies straight from Asian stores. See one of those suspicious-looking candies straight from Asia and AVOID. No kid likes those for Halloween.

There are so many loser candies your neighbors might throw at you but beware...not all neighbors may give you candy but sometimes un-edibles or for worse...FRUITS! If you don't want to wind up in that situation, use science to determine which of your neighbors serve the best candies, which serves "loser candies" or both. Be careful, some may come up with a surprise attack on your jack-o-lantern full of candies.

So there you go, next time when you're out trick-or-treating this Halloween, use the data gathered from this segment and find out which "loser candy" you should avoid from your neighbors.

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