Thursday, August 31, 2017

The Cute Wall (Volume Eighteen)

Now, the moment of truth is time because it's now time to do...THE CUTE WALL!



(applause)

Back in business, baby! And the wall's now better than ever. Look what happened to this wall while we left. It's now clean, the list's intact, and's now heavily fortified with some military grade materials. Resistant to slashes and explosions. Even the likes of idiots like Shogunyan and Robonyan...

Type F.

(audience laughing)

Yeah. Robonyan Type F. No one told me that he has a nuke on his wireframe that violates all UNSC treaties and it was therefore outlawed by international law. Not to mentioned it was used to blow up the meteor in one fell swoop.

(audience laughing)

Hey, care to guess how this heavily fortified wall made from? I have a tape and I'll show it to you.

Go ahead...

(tape clicks)

(static)

Wait...what are those? Are those...elves?

More than elves...


Gnomey
...these are Gnomey.

Gnomey?

Yep. These little fellas from Yo-Kai Watch who did all these. Well, except for one because a certain Gnomey became dinner time for someone else.

(audience laughing)

I know, they talk gibberish but let them be. They are Gnomey and they deserve a spot on the wall which I think I'll put it on the CUTE spot.

(audience laughing)

Thanks for that. So, shall we start with this Cute Wall, then?

Okay, and since we watched that Idol Time Pripara TV show, now's the ideal time to meet the stars of the show starting with Yui Yumekawa.


Yui Yumekawa
(audience laughing)

What? Is there's something wrong with it?

Uhh...it's the eyes is what made us noticing about her. So what's with Yui anyway?

I don't know, apart from being the main character of the show alongside Laala Manaka and the idea that she wants to outsmart her brother, who is part of the boy group WITH.

Those eyes? What were they? It's like it uses the same tech from the Torchwood contact lenses.

(audience laughing)

You mean the I-5s?

More than I-5's, her eyes are having some kind of stereo cameras, the same kind of stuff used on modern cars that using autonomous tech such as braking by itself when it sees an object. I don't know. Does her eyes have nightvision? Thermal? Digicam? Biometrics? X-RAY? Ultrasound? Let's bring our old friend, Robonyan Type F, and do a scanning on her.

Good idea!

SEVERAL MINUTES LATER...

Nope. Both of them hit a vine.

Yep. A vine. Wait! Something's wrong with Robonyan!

Oh dear....

Now he turned into a Yui Yumekawa copy.

(audience laughing)

It's a temporary disruption. He'll revert back to normal in no time.

(audience laughing)

What else I can think about Yui Yumekawa's eyes?

Might as will be...Soldier 76's Tactical Visor!

(audience laughing hysterically)

Soldier 76's Tactical Visor?!

Or maybe Widowmaker's Infra-visor!

(audience laughing)

Anyway, enough Overwatch jab now, but with eyes like her's might as well put Yui Yumekawa to the highest spot of the wall; the NAKAKAGIGIL section.

(laughing, then applause)

Who's next?

Nino Nijiiro

Nino. Nino Nijiiro.

Nino...Nijiiro?! Er...um...hold on. Starting to rhyme with someone else. Yui Yumekawa, Nino Nijiiro, those names, it's starting to sound like...

Yume Nijino?!

(audience laughing)

What about the idea that Yui keeps on saying the "yume" term in the show? Maybe one day, she'll turn this show into Aikatsu Stars and her name won't be Yui Yumekawa. It's just Yume Nijino.

(audience laughing)

This is getting off-topic right now, pal. Let's talk more on Nino for the time being. Nino's the sporty type of character and in the world of Pripara, she bears the Neon Drop name while being backed by Dressing Pafe's Dorothy and Reona West. That's all I know so, words?

Oh, she's a toughie, all right and this wall doesn't welcome toughies like her...

(audience laughing)

...so it's NOT CUTE for Miss Nino. That's it.

If you say so. So, what about this one? Her name is Michiru Koda.

Mi...chiru?!

Michiru Koda
Michiru Koda. She's the one with the glasses like Mirei, grayish hair, let's see...mmm...mmm...Oh no!

What do you mean OH NO?

Michiru Koda, once hypnotized under the spell of the Gaarmageddon posse, she bears the name of Melty Lily and in the world of Pripara, she has the will to control everyone. In other words, she has mind control powers. Cross paths with her and she'll mess you up big time!

(audience laughing)

You got to be kidding me!

Guess we know where to put Miss Michiru...

Yeah, you're right. It's going to be at SERIOUSLY NOT CUTE!

(audience laughing)


Well, I guess that's it with the stars of Idol Time Pripara. Let's go back to Pokemon, shall we?

Pokemon it is, then. And while I'm still watching Sun and Moon, I'm still greeted with a bunch of cute Pokemon as seen on TV apart from the ones I've mentioned before. One such example is this...


Steenee
That's a Steenee, I presume?

Yep. That was once Mallow's Bounsweet, evolved. Now, about that Steenee, Rotom Dex states that Steene often attracts a crowd of other Pokemon drawn to its energy and its lovely scent. Anyway, what's not to like about Mallow's Steenee?! Everyone?

(murmuring)

No one? I do! I'll just put it on CUTE so everyone will know!

CUTE?! But I haven't got the chance to talk about it yet! Anyway, what about Alolan Vulpix? It looks cute to me.


Alolan Vulpix
You know, a normal Vulpix is a Fire-type as every Pokemon master knows, but this Alolan Vulpix on Pokemon Sun and Moon is an Ice-type, and as Rotom Dex says Vulpix in the Alola region was once known as [BLEEP], and some older folks still use that name.

Lillie has an Alolan Vulpix that was hatched from the egg. Care to know what name Lillie gave to her newly hatched Vulpix?

(murmuring)

Nope. You're wrong. Lillie named her Vulpix "Snowy".

It rhymes with Squishy from the Zygarde Core.

(audience laughing)

So, how cute is Snowy, ladies and gentlemen? Everyone?

(murmuring)

(Sigh) Guess they didn't know Snowy, didn't they? Maybe few people watched the Sun and Moon TV show. Come on. Watch the anime! Don't care. Just watch! This is anime, ladies and gents! Anime is meant to be watched, not meant to be played!

And we have a winner. Now hush. Hush as I'll put Snowy on CUTE.

(audience laughing)

(thud!)

What was that?!

I don't know? Something big?

Yes. It's that super bear they called Bewear.


Bewear

(audience laughing)

What Bewear is it?

The Bewear that keeps on meddling Team Rocket while making trouble on Ash and pals.

(audience laughing)

This Bewear keeps popping up by land, by air, BY SEA FOR GOODNESS SAKES! It can travel everywhere as if it knows where's Team Rocket at and then carries them back to its safe place, all the time! Care to see clips where Bewear keeps on popping up on Team Rocket's backs?

(audience laughing)

Oh, no no no no! I think I've seen enough of Bewear but since this Bewear's too much, let's put it to NAKAKAGIGIL. Pity about the air part even though Bewear's a Fighting-type.

Yes but here's a little trick: Have Bewear know Aerial Ace, equip it with Flyium Z crystal, and watch it blast off.

(audience laughing)

Say whaaaa.....?!

(whoosh!)

Where did Bewear go?!

It went out to find Team Rocket as always.

(audience laughing)


Let's move on to Aikatsu Stars, shall we? And while on the subject of Venus Ark, we come face to face with names like Elza Forte, Kirara Hanazono, and Rei Kizaki. Let's start with Elza, first.

Elza Forte

(ooohhh)

Wait, Elza Forte. I'm familiar with this woman. The lady in charge of the Venus Ark and a real thorn to Yume and others. It's like I'm receiving an ominous message on my computer that says (ahem) YOU SO FINE, YOU BLOW MY MIND.

HEY MISSY, YOU SO FINE, YOU BLOW MY MIND, HEY...

Missy!

(audience laughing)

Wow, this woman really is like a mistress of doom and she knows how to make Yume miserable under her prying eyes. So, who was that woman really?

I don't know but because she keeps creeping me out like a thief in the night, mind if I put her on the SERIOUSLY NOT CUTE post where safe?

Guess the Queen won't be impressed by this...

(audience laughing)

What about Kirara Hanazono? Everybody loves this character, you know.

Kirara Hanazono?

Kirara Hanazono

Wait! Kirara Hanazono?! That face! That head! I recognize her! Folks, watch out for her head!

What do you mean "watch out for her head?"

Look at Kirara's face, when she looks like this, better stay away folks because if you come contact with Kirara's head...it's "Fly Me To The Moon" for you.

(audience laughing)

(Fly Me To The Moon plays)

So, let me get this straight. If you come into contact into Kirara's head, you'll end up flying through space. Is that correct?

Yeah. One massive head smash is strong enough to send them flying.

(audience laughing)

Still, could be worse. Even anti-tank rifles can't pierce her head off.

(audience laughing)

Really?!

Don't know. Her head's like the Ironhead from Biohazard Revelations 2. You can't pierce its head off with a gun unless you can blind it with a flashlight. That's what Kirara is. Her head's made up of the toughest element known in planet Earth. So tough, not even an all-out pummeling would shatter her head into a million chunks.

(audience laughing)

What else you know about Kirara's head?

Some witnesses say that if Kirara drops from a 45-story building using her head, it creates some kind of, let's say Tectonic Rage!

(ooohhh)

TECTONIC RAGE?! What was that?

When her head's come impact on the surface, it creates a earth-shattering fissure and she keeps on falling until her point of impact is...uh oh...

What do you mean "uh-oh?" Don't tell me she's heading through...

Yep. She's making an impact on the earth's core, causing a massive explosion similar to a thousand nukes!

(ooohhh)

Yikes. That's some scary stuff you mentioned about Kirara Hanazono's head. So, if I had to ask, what is the equivalent force of Kirara's head when she goes like this?

A Meteor Strike.

???

Doomfist's Meteor Strike attack.

(audience laughing)

We better find a way to blow her head off! Maybe Robonyan would do!

No use. That will blow up the whole studio and that's suicidal so it's best to put her in NAKAKAGIGIL until we figure this out.

(audience laughing)

Anyway, what about Rei Kizaki?


Rei Kizaki
Er...umm...sadly, I still had no info on her yet, although she's more than just being Elza's right hand gal. Oh! they did mention that in future episodes, Rei will finally perform under her assumed name, the Royal Sword.

Royal Sword?

Don't know, that's what her assumed name works perfectly well for Rei, but in the meantime, let's want until we get to know Miss Rei better, although her tough attitude shows that she's not my kind of Aikatsu gal.

(audience laughing)

She's tougher than she looks, am I right? Well, I could put her in NOT CUTE, is that correct?

Yeah. NOT CUTE it is...

(audience laughing)

Anyway...uh...hey! USApyon! What are you doing here? Uh...USApyon?

(VADER MODE)

(Pew! Pew! Pew!)

WAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

Run! Run! Run!

(audience laughing)

TIME FOR THE RECAP!

SERIOUSLY NOT CUTE:
Raichu
Whisper
Minion
Nico Yazawa
Takane Shijou
Azusa Miura
Makoto Kikuchi
Anzu Futaba
Croagunk
Touma Amagase
Shota Mitarai
Hokuto Ijuin
Teru Tendo
Kaoru Sakuraba
Tsubasa Kashikawa
Kyouji Takajou
Minori Watanabe
Kyosuke Aoi
Yusuke Aoi
Shiki Iseya
Haruna Wakazato
Hayato Akiyama
Jun Fuyumi
Natsuki Sakaki
Rui Maita
Chio Hazama
Jiro Yamashita
Treecko
Jill Valentine
Rebecca Chambers
Claire Redfield
Ada Wong
Ashley Graham
Sheva Alomar
Helena Harper
Sherry Birkin
Moira Burton
Natalia Korda
Osomatsu
Karamatsu
Choromatsu
Ichimatsu
Jyuushimatsu
Todomatsu
Miyabi Fujiwara
Risa Shirakaba
Rin Kurosawa
Mia Fey
Rayfa Padma Khura'in
Buttercup
Yoshiko Tsushima
Sion Todo
Aroma Kurosu
Gaaruru
Hibiki Shikyoin
Ako Saotome
Yuri Katsuki
Victor Nikiforov
Grumpy
Chiri Tsukikawa
Lori Loud
Lucy Loud
Lola Loud
Manjimutt
Shogunyan
Mimikyu
Mareanie
*Michiru Koda
*Elza Forte

NOT CUTE:
Dopey
Kwazii
Minion
Amethyst
Rin Hoshizora
Hibiki Ganaha
Minami Nitta
Ranko Kanzaki
Miku Maekawa
Kion
Fuli
Beshte
Bunga
Ono
Pierre
Scraggy
Bulbasaur
Squirtle
Cyndaquil
Turtwig
Sumire Hikami
Juri Kurebayashi
Nono Daichi
Hime Shiratori
Tsubasa Kisaragi
Yuzu Nikaido
Yozora Kasumi
Maya Fey
Pearl Fey
Ema Skye
Trucy Wright
Kay Faraday
Athena Cykes
Blossom
Mirai Kasuga
Shizuka Mogami
Tsubasa Ibuki
Shiho Kitazawa
Umi Kousaka
Julia
Megumi Tokoro
Yuriko Nanao
Serika Hakozaki
Anna Mochizuki
Kana Yabuki
Nao Yokoyama
Riko Sakurauchi
Dia Kurosawa
Mikan Shiratama
Junon
Kanon
Pinon
Mahiru Kasumi
Doc
Sleepy
Lily Shirogane
Pepper Taiyou
Lynn Loud
Lana Loud
Dismarelda
*Nino Nijiiro
*Rei Kizaki


CUTE:
Pichu
Plusle
Minun
Pachirisu
Emolga
Dedenne
Mokona
Mog
Catbug
Bashful
Froakie
Fennekin
Harukasan
Stuffy
Tunip the Vegimal
Minccino
Piplup
Sylveon
Queen Delightful
Axew
Jibanyan
Minion
Serena's Pancham
Umi Sonoda
Eli Ayase
Hanayo Koizumi
Maki Nishikino
Nozomi Tojo
Miki Hoshii
Yukiho Hagiwara
Iori Minase
Ritsuko Akizuki
Anastasia
Kanako Mimura
Chieri Ogata
Miria Akagi
Rika Jougasaki
Kirari Moroboshi
Riina Tada
Rin Shibuya
Mio Honda
Komasan
Komajiro
Grizz
Panda
Ice Bear
Clefairy
Jigglypuff
Chansey
Eevee
Tepig
Snivy
Chikorita
Charmander
Totodile
Torchic
Mudkip
Chimchar
Hinaki Shinjo
Madoka Amahana
Kokone Kurisu
Nina Dojima
Yume Njino
Rola Sakuraba
Laala Manaka
Bubbles
You Watanabe
Kanan Matsuura
Ruby Kurosawa
Hanamaru Kunikida
Mari Ohara
Sophy Hojo
Dorothy West
Reona West
Falulu
Fuwari Midorikaze
Koharu Nanakura
Sneezy
Non Manaka
Rowlet
Litten
Popplio
Togedemaru
Rockruff
Bounsweet
Lincoln Loud
Leni Loud
Luna Loud
Lisa Loud
Lily Loud
USApyon
Happierre
Tomnyan
K. Koma
K. Jiro
Hidabat
Robonyan
Robonyan F
*Gnomey
*Steenee
*Alolan Vulpix


NAKAKAGIGIL!!!:
Pikachu
BMO
Bijou
Poof
George
Happy
Chespin
Doc McStuffins
Mabel Pines
Sofia
Cottonee
Minion
Oshawott
Star Butterfly
Honoka Kousaka
Kotori Minami
Haruka Amami
Yayoi Takatsuki
Chihaya Kisaragi
Ami Futami
Mami Futami
Uzuki Shimamura
Noibat
Togepi
Squishy
Ichigo Hoshimiya
Aoi Kiriya
Ran Shibuki
Akari Ozora
Braixen
Chika Takami
Mirei Minami
Luan Loud
*Yui Yumekawa
*Bewear
*Kirara Hanazono

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