Audi RS7 Sportback

2014 Audi RS7 Sportback

Well, that was quite an unexpected arrival for this hot version of the Audi A7 4-door coupe even this promises to give the Mercedes-Benz CLS63 AMG and the BMW M6 Gran Coupe a run for their money. So, ladies and gents, meet the Audi RS7 Sportback.

Lurking behind the skunk works of quattro GmBH, this high-performance 4-door coupe tries to balance it out not just as a premium saloon car but also a sports saloon that prefers to play with alkali metals in the bathroom, only cesium is worth the big bang in the bathtub perhaps. The science lesson is always one of Audi's biggest excuses when it comes to retain their "Vorsprung Durch Technik" slogan but because Germans love to do some serious stuff, all that sense of humor is not here, and so are its German rivals. Sometimes, it always left fake smiles rather than real smiles even when you made a fantastic joke out of it but no matter what, the Germans never laughed because humor is not in the German lexicon. There's another thing about how German is a German car because rather than losing its sense of humor, it's bang goes to the fear, the sorrow, and the fury. A true German car has to be more emotionless in order to focus to its keen points a driver would want but to be honest, it's all emotion commotion for this kind of scenario anyway.

For such a serious car like the RS7, it's rigged with Audi's 4.0 TFSi twin turbo engine which develops the same as the Lamborghini Gallardo LP560-4. 0-100kph takes about 3.9 seconds and top speed normally limited to 250kph or if you have enough cash, there's this dynamic package which raises the limit to 280kph or the very serious dynamic package plus which has its limit raised to 305kph, about 20 less than the LP560-4 Gallardo so it's not much of what you call...hmmm...

In terms of handling, well that was a bit of a brainstormer here, it still retains its seriousness as a German car and even if your hammering around like a megalomaniac, heh, no fuss. It behaves just like an office junior jumping through the swimming pool with some office equipment. Be warned though that while it drives seriously on the open roads, it still yanks like babies and roadworks. You wouldn't want one to use it as a chauffeur's car because sometimes, you'll be waking your boss up with his wine spilled on his pants. Quite an embarrassing moment eh and if it happened if you drive one of these in formal occasions or some sort of luxury parties, you're going to ruin theirs because what you have here is morally impolite. Geez, I don't really want to have one or have my driver to chauffeur with me because things can really get as messy as Japanese wasabi.

What's also crazy about the RS7 is its serious pricing and I was hoping to be priced competitively between the CLS63 and the M6 Gran Coupe but with this, it starts at around 113,000 Euros, around 20,000 more than the S7 Sportback, which is a lesser brother to that. So, with so many questions about the new RS7 are better left untold, it all leads to everyone's verdict to figure out how does the RS7 stack up but in the meantime, don't. It's still worth leaving your ears red if you had one and when you hear people talking about your ride.

Photo: Audi AG

Toyota Land Cruiser Prado J150 minor change

The Land Cruiser Prado, it maybe the junior version of the Land Cruiser but it really behaves like its big brother thanks to its off-road capability, luxurious interior fit for politicians, big engines, and the high pricing that will really empty your pockets. This is the kind of offroader that you can expect to see one crossing through the streets whether if you're in the Philippines or in the Middle East or in Europe or in India or in Australia but the junior version of Japan's answer to the Range Rover really tries to be a stand-out in the face of the crowd. If you're happen to drive or ride in one of those, people might think that you are a high-ranking official trying to make the rounds.

2014 Toyota Land Cruiser Prado

Now, there is an updated version of the Prado and judging by its minor change, I still don't understand the way it looks because look at its new front face, it's about as disappointing as the M_h_ndr_ Sc_rp__. (NOTE: I removed some of the vowels on it to prevent search engine query hijinks by the time I'm checking) And then there's the headlamps which is now has the shape of a putter and...are we playing golf or what? Sorry, we're not playing golf, perhaps it's still the SUV capable of sending rich politicians to the golf course for their recess.

2014 Toyota Land Cruiser Prado interior

2014 Toyota Land Cruiser Prado interior

So, what about the interior? For the very observant amongst you, it seems the dashboard's changed a bit and the more expensive models now come with the SD Navigation System featuring G-BOOK mX Pro (Version 2.1). Yes, quite an update on the hardware and the software alike for navigational purposes in mind but there has been some numerous mild updates on the interior such as the updated speedo with some multicolor TFT LCD with high visibility, and yes, you can still have the optional 3rd row seating to make the Prado a seven seater. I'm not quite sure if this can be used as a family car and hey, summer's almost over, so make the most out of it but no. Never mind, the Prado's too expensive for a family car, it's usable for the rich and famous, even politicians.

2014 Toyota Land Cruiser Prado

Of course, you can still have the 2.7L 2TR-FE engine with the power output of 163PS and the fuel economy of 8.5km/L or a powerful 4.0L V6 1GR-FE engine with Dual VVT-i, that carries the power output of 276PS and the fuel economy of 7.9km/L, but remember, if you go for the 2.7L model, you'll have a 4-speed automatic, while if you're for the powerful and ultra-thirsty V6 model, the gearbox you can expect is a 5-speed SUPER ECT with sequential shiftmatic. Also, you can expect numerous features offered on the new Prado such as KDSS (Kinetic Dynamic Suspension System), crawl control, Multi-Terrain Select, Pre-Crash Safety system, clearance sonar, radar cruise control, Electronic Brake-force Distribution, Anti-lock Brake System, Vehicle Stability Control, SRS airbags, reinforced body, and the Multi Terrain Monitor.

The Price List:
2.7L TX 5-seater - 3,180,000 Yen
2.7L TX 7-seater - 3,330,000 Yen
2.7L TX L Package 5-seater - 3,620,000 Yen
2.7L TX L Package 7-seater - 3,770,000 Yen
4.0L TZ - 4,250,000 Yen
4.0L TZ-G - 4,900,000 Yen

Available colors: Super Whit II, White Pearl Crystal Shine, Silver Metallic, Grey Metallic, Dark Steel Mica, Black, Attitude Black Mica, Bronze Mica Metallic, Dark Green Mica, and Dark Blue Mica.

Photo: Toyota Motor Corporation

CHILDHOOD RUINED: Teletubbies set flooded by owner due to "tourism"

Teletubbies set before and after

The Teletubbies, the BBC's preschool show featuring four noticeable characters Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa Laa, and Po. The TV show aired from 1997 to 2001, has tons of merchandising rights, and it remains one of the most controversial shows in ages. Now even though it's no longer with us, most of the people visited the place in question, which is the set used for the hit BBC preschool show. It's located somewhere in Wimpstone, Warwickshire.

What shocked us that the owner of that place where the Teletubbies are filmed had enough of that. She said “People were jumping fences and crossing cattle fields. We’re glad to see the back of it.” The solution? She flooded the whole set into just a questionable pond! Pity though, more like CHILDHOOD RUINED for us...

Source: Mirror

Let's Do The News! (September 10, 2013)

The mad, the bad, and dangerous in the world of news today...

- Russian foreign minister Sergei Lavrov urged Syrian leaders to hand over their chemical weapons to international control in a bid to prevent a potential US military strike. He said that Russia will cooperate with the Assad regime to avert a US attack on Syria and ask Syria to join the Hague-based organization for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons. Syria accepted Russia's proposals.

- The USA Today newspaper and Pew Research Center released the results of a survey of over 1500 people nationwide and according to the poll, 60% oppose Syria intervention.

- For the Frankfurt Motor Show, Audi will showcase a concept car with a very funny name. It's called the Nanuk quattro concept and this concept 4x4 supercar was penned by Italdesign Giugiaro.

Audi Nanuk Quattro concept

- If you thought the 6-wheel drive Mercedes G63 concept is all "fantastic" and "mathematical" to you, then Brabus decided to make it more "mathematical" by tuning up the G63 AMG 6x6 for their B63S-700 6x6 masterpiece in Frankfurt Motor Show.

Brabus B63S-700 6x6

- After long waits, the production version of the Porsche 918 Spyder hybrid-engine wielding sportscar was finally revealed and it will be showcased at this year's Frankfurt Motor Show.

2015 Porsche 918 Spyder

- Namco Bandai Games announced that they will make a new Gundam and THE iDOLM@STER video game for the all new Playstation4. Also, iM@S creator says that there's going to be a stand-alone iM@S game in the works. Wonder what could that be?

- The Playstation Vita gets even better because Sony announced the PSVita TV system which allows PSVita users to play PSVita games on TV, download PSP and PSX games, and access various video and web services. Also, a more slimmer PSVita and a new 64GB memory card for the Vita were announced.

- Is this going to be the successor of the Golf Plus MPV? Volkswagen showcased the Golf Sportsvan concept car to preview such a thing...

VW Golf Sportsvan concept

TTFN!

The World God Only Knows Character CD. 8, 9, 10, 000

Goddess Arc is the name of the third season of The World God Only Knows (日本名: 神のみぞ知るセカイ 女神篇) and the latest season sees the return of fan favorites Keima Katsuragi, special agents Elsie and Haqua, and some of the favorites. There are some new characters featured in the new series where Keima investigates the secrets of the goddess. It may not be a "do or die" mission but the third series is worth a throwing.

So, the character CDs inspired from the third chapter of the Kaminomi anime, yes, there's one volume where special agents Elsie and Haqua returned as one but the first three features some of the new characters such as Tenri Ayukawa, Tsukiyo Kojo, and Yui Goido. Yes, we know who you are but sorry, we're not because the best way is to have one of those and if you're thinking of these as valuables, it's all part of the whole Kaminomi music CD collection.

1) Character CD.8 Tenri Ayukawa starring KAORI NAZUKA





2) Character CD.9 Tsukiyo Kujo starring YUKA IGUCHI





3) Character CD.10 Yui Goido starring AYAHI TAKAGAKI





4) Character CD.000 Elysia de Lute Ima & Haqua d'rot Herminium starring KANAE ITO & SAORI HAYAMI

Super GT 2013 Round 6 Fuji Speedway

#38 ZENT CERUMO LEXUS SC430

The sixth round of the 2013 Super GT season returns on Fuji Speedway and amazingly, this was the first win for the ZENT CERUMO racing team of Yuji Tachikawa and Kohei Hirate in their #38 Lexus SC racer while in the GT300 class, the #4 GSR HATSUNE MIKU BMW, driven by Nobuteru Taniguchi and Tatsuya Kataoka, won Round 6 of this year's Super GT.

PRESS RELEASE:

ZENT CERUMO SC430 gets its first win of the season! BMW conquers in the GT300 class

The FUJI GT 300km RACE, Round 6 of the AUTOBACS SUPER GT, took place at Fuji Speedway (one lap 4.563km x 66 laps) in Shizuoka Pref. on Sept. 8. In difficult conditions with rain drizzles on and off, the winner of the GT500 class was the No. 38 ZENT CERUMO SC430 driven by Yuji Tachikawa and Kohei Hirate. The GT300 class winner was the No. 4 GSR HATSUNEMIKU BMW driven by Nobuteru Taniguchi and Tatsuya Kataoka.

On race day at Fuji Speedway there was rain in the morning, but by noon the rain had stopped and the track was mostly dry by the time of the race start at 14:00. In these relatively good track conditions, the No. 38 ZENT CERUMO SC430 driven by Kohei Hirate made a good start from pole position. The ZENT CERUMO SC430 ran in the lead with its fellow Lexus car, the No. 37 KeePer TOM'S SC430 driven by Andrea Caldarelli, in tow until the Safety Car came out to control the race after machine trouble caused a machine to crash on the 21st lap. During the time it took to clear up the aftermath of the crash, the ZENT CERUMO SC430 had lost most of its margin of lead. When it became possible for the teams to make pit stops, the ZENT CERUMO SC430 and most of the other cars in the lead group made their routine pit stops and changed drivers. Because some teams didn’t make their routine stops, however, the ZENT CERUMO SC430 had given up the lead by the time it returned to the race with Yuji Tachikawa now at the wheel, and what’s more, it was hit by another car in its first lap out of the pit and ended up in 5th position as a result. But knowing that not getting the win in this race would effectively end the ZENT CERUMO SC430 team’s title chances, Tachikawa began a hard charge through the pack amid constantly changing conditions as rain began to fall on and off. Finally, by the 43rd lap of the race, Tachikawa regained the lead. From this point on, Tachikawa would face a tough challenge from the No. 17 KEIHIN HSV-010 (Koudai Tsukakoshi) but in the end he lived up to his reputation as a mater at the Fuji course and always a strong finisher by fending off the challenge to give his team its first victory of the season.

This was the second win of the season for the LEXUS SC430 and its 18th overall. For Tachikawa it is his 15th GT500 career win, bringing him into a tie for most wins by a driver. For Hirate it was his fifth win.

In the GT300 class, the No. 4 GSRHATSUNEMIKU BMW driven by Nobuteru Taniguchi and Tatsuya Kataoka started from 5th position on the starting grid and took advantage of some fast pit work just after the Safety car came out and succeeded in taking the lead among the cars that had made quick pit stops. After that, the BMW’s second stint driver Taniguchi did a magnificent job of handling the slippery conditions after rain began to fall. In the end, he scored the team’s first win of the season with a massive 47-second lead over 2nd place at the finish.

This was the fifth win overall for the BMW Z4 in GT300 class competition. For Taniguchi it is his 13th win, and for Kataoka it is his sixth.

Source: SUPER GT official

The next round of the SUPER GT 2013 season takes place at AUTOPOLIS this October 6, 2013.

Sixth-generation Toyota Crown Majesta (GWS214)

The Majesta is the flagship of the Toyota Crown lineup and by the word flagship, it was notable for putting up a big engine, mainly the big, thirsty V8 engine on it used by over five generations. For the brand new, sixth-generation model, which is now the long-wheelbase version of the 14th generation Crown, launched last year, the brand new Majesta is now breaking the Majesta tradition while retaining the status of being the flagship saloon that was commonly the chauffeur's choice.

2014 Toyota Crown Majesta

The oddity starts at the exterior because there goes the rather controversial front face as seen on the current-generation Crown, which was launched since Christmas Day 2012, because past Crowns are subtle, more classier, and more sophisticated but right now, I'm sensing the loss of sophistication here because I don't think the new front face will be worth the taking of being a flagship saloon car for the executives. However, while the new front face is rather controversial rather than being classy, it's all part of the way it handles its aerodynamics because there's the lower-front grille shutter which opens and shuts based on the car's speed and engine water temperature. With this, the new shutter under the grille reduces air resistance and improves engine warm-up efficiency. Clever though, and now to the real part why there was a thing that the Majesta tradition was broken.

2014 Toyota Crown Majesta

For the brand new Majesta, the old V8's of yesteryear's Majesta generations is no longer offered, thrown away, and yes, I am shocked to say that the previous Majesta, the 2009-era Majesta, really is the final V8-powered Toyota sedan ever made and since it's gone, it's gone for good and the new Majesta is equipped with the 3.5L V6 hybrid powerplant inherited from the latest generation Lexus GS450h. Although, it has the same hybrid powerplant as the GS450h, the new Majesta's 3.5L V6 engine produces about 292PS of power alone and for the sake of science, the new Majesta has an electric motor which produces 147kW of power so when both of the V6 engine and the electric motor kicks in, I'd expect that it has the same combined output as the GS450h's...and it wasn't. 343PS of combined power output, less than the GS450h produced and less than the previous model's 4.6L V8. On the plus side, it packs more power than the previous model's 4.3L V8, so positively, the 18.2km/L of fuel consumption really shows that a little downsizing really placed the whole "less is more" philosophy, the new Majesta with its hybrid powerplant has the power of a V8 with the fuel economy of a compact car. Yeah, they can do science, them.

The gearbox is now a CVT but based on the instruction manual I read, when I shift this to its S-MODE, it behaves like an 8-speed gearbox with a little help of eight simulated gears. That seems fine but as a concept, it feels a bit old-fashioned for me. If you're in a middle of a "Don't Hurry" situation, the CVT gearbox is your only friend but if you're in a rush hour, expect a strong hating for this gearbox.

On the suspension side, the new Majesta comes with front double wishbone and rear multilink suspension, made to keep this flagship saloon as comfortable as...hmmm...walking on a pool of custard? Yep, I was gonna say that but I haven't got to the other part about loads of tech done in the name of stability and yes, I am now because for the new model, it has Vehicle Dynamics Integrated Management (VDIM), Variable Gear Ratio Steering (VGRS) and Electric Power Steering (EPS). It also has this Navigation/Artificial Intelligence-Adaptive Variable Suspension System (NAVI/AI-AVS) which provide integrated control of vehicle behavior in tandem with the four wheels to create a flat ride and comfortable handling. Yep, this is quite a treat if you don't want to wake your boss sleeping at the rear seat but be warned though, although the new Majesta was more focused on comfort, I'm afraid that it's not quite exciting to drive either because with all of those tech loaded as well as being governed by some sort of electronic nanny, this car is a bit of a gentleman's manner rather than a car made for chase scenes in case of unsuspecting Yakuzas chasing you from behind. Even when set to SPORT MODE, it feels a bit of a same in here.

2014 Toyota Crown Majesta interior

2014 Toyota Crown Majesta interior

As for the pricing, the new model now costs less than the previous model because it now costs 6.1 million Yen, about 20,000 less than the old one and the top-of-the-line F-Version costs 6.7 million Yen and for that version, you can have a Pre-Crash Safety System, Intelligence Clearance Sonar, and Radar Cruise Control. I know, the new model may have cut its costs to make it more valuable than the previous model but I'm afraid that it is a bit costly for a long-wheelbase version of the Crown Royal with the Lexus GS450h powerplant on it.

Like any other luxury saloons, the new Majesta does have a comfortable interior and thanks to its long wheel-base, the new Majesta does focused on having space at the back more than anything else, like what the Chinese had for their long-wheelbase versions of German saloons, it also has a bigger boot which accommodates up to four golf bags, and as a limousine, it really does make you feel LIKE A BOSS. Summing up this car then is hard because let's be honest, what I like about the new Majesta is its long wheelbase, space at the back, the pursuit of being a comfortable car, and the hybrid powerplant which produces V8 power with compact-like fuel economy, while what I don't like about the new Majesta is the CVT gearbox with eight simulated gears, not quite exciting to drive (quite an irony from Toyota's FUN TO DRIVE AGAIN slogan), and the design that is a bit controversial.

Colors: White Pearl Crystal Shine,  Silver Metallic, Precious Silver, Black, Dark Red Mica Metallic, and Dark Blue Mica.

Photo: Toyota Motor Corporation

Let's Do The News! (September 9, 2013)

(cheers and applause)

Jeremy: Excellent work! For the first time, there's someone who can outcute BMO!!!

Richard: Yeah, for the first time! As of now...

(audience laughing)

Jeremy: What do you mean "as of now?"

Richard: Because Poof is the seventh cartoon character to come on our segment and we have three more left on our segment. I already book the other two but the final character to compete on our segment is a bit of a wild card. It's a bit of a secret we can't tell you for now...

(audience laughing)

Jeremy: So, since Poof outcute BMO, Mokona, Catbug, and all of the other cute characters, will the last three ever to outcute Poof?

Richard: Well, hope so but I think it's the wild card who thinks he or she can outcute that fairy baby. Be sure to come back soon, okay? We only got three weeks left on this segment and hey! Any suggestions for our next round when we return this segment, feel free to suggest any cute characters! Just the cartoon or the anime or the video game ones okay?

(audience laughing)

James: Anyway, the news and hey! Big news! Word from the Olympic committee that the next city to succeed after the Rio 2016 Olympics is Tokyo, Japan!

Jeremy: Excellent!

(cheers and applause)

Richard: Wait, Tokyo, Japan is the hosting city for the next 2020 Olympics?!

James: That's right! Tokyo blitzes Istanbul and Madrid by a long shot, although I felt kinda sad to the Spaniards after their nation got eliminated from the bids. Pity though and since Spain's on the financial brink right now, there's no way that thing could happen. Well, here's a little bit of a trivia though.

Richard: James, are you sure you're fine with all of those DYKs and the trivias? We're kinda irritated by those...

(audience laughing)

James: Anyway, for a trivia, this isn't the first time Japan had hosted the Olympics because the first time they held the Summer Olympics was in 1964, which is the first Asian nation to host such an event. There was this show called Eagle Sam, which is about Sam the Eagle, the mascot of the 1984 Summer Olympics in LA and oh, the venue that was gonna used for the 2020 Tokyo Olympics was featured in the post-apocalyptic masterpiece by Katsuhiro Otomo, Akira. That's a bit of a trivia though.

Jeremy: Yeah, that's a bit of a trivia. Thank you but to be honest, apart from all the people from Tokyo cheering from the announcement that Tokyo's the host city for the 2020 Olympics, I have a few doubts for this one because, well, you know all of the Fukushima crisis and the strong yen and problems arising in Japan, not to mention the ever-shrinking population.

James: It's seven years away from now so, that will give Japan more time to think and hopefully, there shouldn't be another disaster that stands in their way. I have my fingers crossed that for the next seven years, Tokyo, Japan should prepare for the better and for worse while making changes as an Olympic city for 2020. Well, Vision 2020 right?

(audience laughing)

 Jeremy: Now, bad news. Earlier, I just heard from the Department of Energy that to address the power shortages in Luzon, they are considering about a one- or two-hour brownout in the peak hours of 11 a.m., 2p.m., and 7 p.m.

(huh)

Richard: Huh? One or two hour brownout in the peak hours? That's like...

Jeremy: I know. This is a bit messy just in case someone's a bit nosy right now but anyway, the DOE told that they are planning additional power plants but the finishing time is very too long, takes about two to three years to make it done so what they're planning to fill the gap is by power interruption and that's a load of rubbish. You see some power advisories flashing on the TV screens saying blah blah blah and then blah blah blah, why would they plan making power interruptions at the times of 11, 2, and 7? What if they are others busy doing office jobs or calinderia or watching dramas or schools or whatever you know?

(audience laughing)

Jeremy: This is madness. What are they thinking of?

(audience laughing)

Richard: Well, seems that the DOE cares about the DOE itself rather than the POWERRRR....

(audience laughing)

Richard: Power hungry customers. Man, those electric cars shouldn't deserve a spot here until the near future when power supplies are in normal levels. Also, the DOE is planning about a reserve market and disallowing maintenance work for power plants during the summer holiday and it will provide about 400-600MW. (sigh)

Jeremy: Anyway, while we're in the middle of issue regarding the NSA, what occurs to me that the only thing worse than the whole NSA scandal is...

James: Is what?

Jeremy: Those posts I found on Facebook saying that "Admit It" and then goes "blah blah blah"...Ah pbft....

(audience laughing)

Richard: What do you mean?

Jeremy: Those posts that related on what were doing in the past and present! That's even more annoying than the NSA eavesdropping on us! Let's just say there was some post that goes "If you remember this, your childhood was awesome" with the pics of twirling around a bucket of water, thinking that those tags at the back of our clothes feels like getting sting on the cactus, and then those shows we watched in the past and then those fast forwarding tapes to make it sound like Chip and Dale, and then on and on and on...Those posts feel like eavesdropping to us! Please stop sharing those posts that relate, okay? Knock it off...

(audience laughing)

Richard: Yeah, kindly stop sharing such things!

(audience laughing)

Jeremy: Right, TV5. There will be a new lineup this weekend under the #WeekendDoItBetter tagline and what seems to be interesting that there will be new shows as well as returning ones. So, let's start with the new ones. First off, it's the new gag show called Tropa Moko Unli. The new gag show features Gelli de Belen and Ogie Alcasid, which were from Tropang Trump from the 90's, and then joined by some of the funniest like Edgar Allan Guzman, Empoy, Alwyn Uytingco, Eula Caballero, Ritz Azul, Jasmine Curtis-Smith, and the Artista Academy scholars. It airs on Saturday, September 14. Then, there's Showbiz Police, where hosts Raymond Gutierrez, director Joey Reyes, Lucy Torres-Gomez, and Cristy Fermin, investigates through the hidden world of showbiz controversies. Also on the new lineup was Killer Karaoke which is a bit like that old ABS-CBN show that is called...what's it called?

James: Twist and Shout.

Jeremy: Yes. Twist and Shout, of course. It's where contestants singing while facing numerous obstacles and see if they can survive singing on this new show. New to the lineup was What's Up Doods?. It's kinda more of a late night talk show hosted by Edu Manzano. And last, there's the new show called The Mega and the Song Writer, which is hosted by Sharon Cuneta and Ogie Alcasid. Now onto the returning ones and returning to the new lineup will be a new season of the Philippine version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, a new season of Pinoy Explorer, in which Aga Mulach travels around the world in search of surprises hidden around the world, and then, yes. It's our favorite prank show everyone's been watching...It's Wow Mali! This time it's Wow Mali Pa Rin! That's all you can expect on the new #WeekendDoItBetter lineup starting September 14 and 15 and do please support those new and returning shows from TV5.

(cheers and applause)

Jeremy: Now, moving on from here to there because...ahem...Disney Channel is launching two new shows this month. First off and this is a bit of a misunderstanding for us...there's this new cartoon airing on Friday, September 13, and it's called (ahem) Wander Over Yonder.

Richard: What was that? Oh wait! I get it now!

Jeremy: Really?

Richard: Here, let something else explain...(ahem) "LORD HATER, the most evil villain in the universe has used his army of Watchdogs led by COMMANDER PEEPERS to conquer every peace-loving planet in his way! Meanwhile, WANDER (the interstellar fellar who loves being happy and helping others) and his best friend and trusty steed SYLVIA have encountered LORD HATER and his minions!" Yep, that pretty much sums it up but you can expect that on Friday night. Don't forget it before we got zapped by Lord Hater's HATE RAY...

(audience laughing)

Richard: Because on this show...BE HAPPY just like Wander, our newest friend from outer space who loves to give a smile on the face. Oh yeah! There's another new show on Disney Channel and it's on a Sunday night. It's called...(ahem) Liv and Maddie.

Liv and Maddie
(Image: Disney)

James: Uh...yeah. Liv...Maddie...

Richard: That's Liv, the idol twin on the left, and on the right, the athletic twin, that's Maddie. Both played by a newcomer Dove Cameron. That's a new show and it's airing on a Sunday night. Anyway, while Disney gave us a sneak peek on this new show, I felt a bit skeptical but I'm impressed about this new show.

Jeremy: Yeah. I don't care about it but...psst!

Richard: What is it?

Jeremy: (whispering) Don't you think that there's a bit of familiarity here?!

Richard: What do you mean?!

Jeremy: (whispering) Something bothering me that Maddie kinda look like that "majorette nerd" who got zapped by the Brainiacs?

(audience laughing hysterically)

Richard: ??? OH I SEE. Maddie looks like the nerd from a majorette as seen on Brainiac, the nerd who got zapped by those electrical thingy. Yep, for nostalgia's sake but uh oh...

Jeremy: What?

Richard: No time for that, because she kinda look like the majorette nerd that I zapped from Brainiac, gotta run! Bye!

(audience laughing)

How Cute Is Your Character? - Poof

10 cute characters brought in by me will face my CUTENESS TESTS; getting kissed, getting hugged, and against Isabella's cuteness in a bid to top my CUTENESS RANKER leaderboard.

Today's cute character is...

Poof

Is it Poof a fairy god-baby from the hands of Timmy Turner's fairy godparents Cosmo and Wanda from the zany and hilarious TV cartoon The Fairly Odd-Parents as seen on Nickelodeon and made by the studio, I think, that done Adventure Time? Well, actually the studio did this a decade before that but anyway...

Poof is cute for a fairy god-baby...but question is HOW CUTE IS POOF? Sorry C and W, we gonna need Poof for our segment and we're gonna find out if Poof is cuter than BMO in our leaderboard.

First test is...getting kissed. Just how kissable is Poof? Well, the answer, I think, is...Poof smiled! I mean look at Poof, he's so cute when he's laughing happily when we kissed this cute little fairy baby. That is a 9 out of 10 for Poof's "kissable" rating.

Second test is...getting hugged. How huggable is Poof? Once again, that hug made Poof so happy but if you hug him too hard, then you're in a yanking state of calamity right now. Yep, babies cry louder and so is Poof. It might be best to hug him and snuggle him in a gentle kind of way, hoping but not expecting. For his huggable rating, Poof gets an 8 out of 10.

The last test is...against Isabella. Isabella says "Whatcha Doin?"...like this. What would Poof do? Uh-oh... Poof! What are you doing! Stop poofing Izzy! Well, looks like Poof's poofing Izzy right now especially when he thinks he mistaken Isabella for some shiny object. Somebody sedate that Poof. Take him away. Anyway, with all that bonkers going on around here, we tried this thing again and this time, Poof's secured. So, the big moment, how would Poof react to Izzy's cuteness? First 10 seconds, it's fine but later...Whoa...Look at Poof now, he's drooling! He's drooling like a dog! He can't resist himself but then...we give up. Poof's a fairy baby can't be contained. We're giving him a chance so it's a decent 6 out of 10.

Poof from The Fairly Odd-Parents scored a grand total of 23 out of 30. Which means...Poof dethroned Adventure Time's BMO to claim the top spot of our CUTENESS RANKER leaderboard!

1) Poof - 23/30

2) BMO - 22/30

3) Mokona - 22/30

4) Catbug - 20/30

5) Mog - 19/30

6) Adipose - 16/30
7) Pinkie Pie - 15/30

How cute do I rank it? VERY VERY CUTE! HOW CUTE IS YOUR CHARACTER?

F1 2013 Italian GP

F1 2013

After minor setbacks during a race in Monza, Italy, Red Bull Racing's Sebastian Vettel survived to secure his sixth win of the F1 2013 season, needless to say that here in Monza, Force India's facing some major setbacks with Paul di Resta suffered a first-lap casualty after rear-ended Roman Grosjean at the second chicane while Adrian Sutil retired when running behind Lewis Hamilton and Kimi Raikkonen.

PRESS RELEASE:

Race - brilliant Vettel eases to victory in Italy

Red Bull’s Sebastian Vettel survived a number of minor issues to take his sixth win of the season in the Formula 1 Gran Premio d'Italia 2013 at Monza on Sunday afternoon. 

The world champion took the lead at the start as Ferrari’s Felipe Massa sprinted briefly up to second ahead of the second Red Bull of Mark Webber and the second Ferrari of Fernando Alonso. 

As Vettel extended his lead out front, despite some concerns about a flat-spotted tyre, Alonso fought past Webber with a bold move on the third lap, then caught and passed his team mate on the eighth. But there was nothing he could do about the German in the lead and though he finished only 5.4s adrift, the real gap was closer to double that as Vettel eased off considerably.

In the second half of the race Webber fought back and put Alonso under pressure until he was told to start short-shifting, but he was still less than a second behind the Ferrari at the end. Massa was a distant fourth.

Nico Hulkenberg and Mercedes’ Nico Rosberg had a race-long fight for fifth which went the Sauber driver’s way by six-tenths of a second even though Rosberg was the fastest man on track with three laps to go. Daniel Ricciardo made strong use of his superfast-in-a-straight line Toro Rosso to keep Romain Grosjean at bay, but Mercedes' Lewis Hamilton was closing on both and actually passed the Lotus going into the second chicane on the final lap. 

Unfortunately for the Briton, he’d gone over the run-off area to do it and had to hand back the place. Hamilton had his race strategy upset by a slow puncture in his Mercedes’ right front tyre on the 12th lap, and thus had to make two pit stops to almost everybody else’s one.

Kimi Raikkonen was the other man who had to stop twice after sustaining accident damage running his Lotus into Sergio Perez’s McLaren at the first corner after locking up. Like Hamilton, the Finn drove a feisty race to recover, but couldn’t hold Hamilton back on the 49th lap. He did catch and pass Perez, but missed out on the final point when he couldn’t quite get the job done on Jenson Button. The Englishman thus took a solitary point in McLaren’s 50th birthday race.

Behind Perez in 12th, fellow Mexican Esteban Gutierrez brought his Sauber home ahead of the Williams duo of Pastor Maldonado and Valtteri Bottas, while further back Charles Pic beat Caterham team mate Giedo van der Garde, as Jules Bianchi led home Marussia team mate Max Chilton at the rear of the field.

It was a bad race for Force India, with Paul di Resta a first-lap casualty after running into the back of Grosjean at the second chicane - an incident the stewards are investigating - and Adrian Sutil retiring on the penultimate lap when running behind the Hamilton/Raikkonen battle. Jean-Eric Vergne had kept Button and Hamilton at bay in the early stages until a transmission problem on his Toro Rosso put him out on the 15th lap.

Vettel’s sixth win of the season extended his championship lead over Alonso. The German now has 222 points to the Spaniard’s 169, while Hamilton is stuck back on 141 from Raikkonen on 134, as Webber moves up to 130.

In the constructors’ stakes, Red Bull had the biggest day and now have 352 points, while Ferrari’s strong performance puts them back into second place on 248 ahead of Mercedes on 245. Lotus remain fourth on 191 with McLaren fifth on 66 and Force India sixth on 61.

Source: Formula One official

So with Vettel in the lead ahead of Fernando Alonso and Lewis Hamilton, do you think that this 3-time F1 champion still holding back although there are 7 races left in the F1 2013 calendar? There's more to come as the next round of the F1 2013 season takes place at... Singapore this September 22nd.

Porsche 911 (991) Turbo

2014 Porsche 911 Turbo

First, the 991-spec Porsche 911 brought you the Carrera, then the four-wheel drive 4S, and then the track-focused GT3. Well-governing bodies from Porsche have taken it seriously that the 991-spec Porsche 911 will spawn a Turbo variant with a number of changes around here but before all is told, it's time for me to revisit the gold ol' Executive Optical.

At the Executive Optical, I told my eye doctor to check up my eyes again and then the eye doctor is using everything he had in the name of eye checkups. Farsighted or nearsighted, looks like my eye checkup is done at EO and now let's resume the story.

Anyway, the new 911 Turbo, the ultra-powerful version of the 911 is a quickfire thing Porsche managed to tame this beast with big power while putting the engine in the wrong side of the car. In other words, as what BMO from Adventure Time says, it goes in my butt. Yeah, this is like inserting a VHS tape on BMO's back but anyway, back to the story.

2014 Porsche 911 Turbo speedometer

What can you expect on the brand new 911 Turbo? Well, just like the GT3, the manual gearbox has been dropped out and it was replaced by 7-speed PDK that works brilliantly like what I said on the GT3. Also, the trademark 911 3.8L boxer engine has been given two turbochargers so it churns out about 520HP of power and does 0-100kph in 3.4 seconds but that's just the tip of the iceberg. There's the S model which bumps the 3.8L engine to 560HP of power and a 0-100kph time of 3.1 seconds, that's as mind-numbing as the McLaren MP4-12C, that's for sure.

Be warned, when you face this car against Godzilla, or should I say the Nissan GT-R, it's a do-or-die thing because here's a thing; while the GT-R can do 315 km/h of top speed, the S version of the 911 Turbo can do about 318 km/h of top speed but I don't care about it, it's still the GT-R that will going to rape the 911 Turbo S so hard because of its launch control that...hmmm...does the 911 Turbo S had one?! Well, since Porsche didn't mention anything about it, might as well say that Godzilla raped the 911 Turbo S, he he he...

Darn, referring the fact that the R35 GT-R's more cheaper than the 911 Turbo, be warned though that the pricing starts at around 162,055 Euros so, yet again, Godzilla raped the 911 Turbo. I was gonna say this again and again and again but the producers warned me that I have to explain the exact car only, not explaining the other car. Sorry, Producer-san.

2014 Porsche 911 Turbo interior

Anyway, what about the way it drives? Once again, being a 911, the Turbo version still provides the same 911 chemistry as expected from the past and present; by being a sportscar that has unique styling and spartan driving manners. When I say Spartan, were not talking about King Leonidas kicking someone through the bottomless pit or rather the Halo kind of Spartan. It's the way it behaves and the 911 Turbo, even if it has four-wheel drive, will surely have the good times troll in all walks of life. On the straights, it feels like Brainiacs racing against a bunch of chemicals but thanks to its super-fast PDK shifting and with the turbocharged flat-six engine that delivers a resonating exhaust note, you'll never know what sorts of tricks this car's going to pull on very fast speeds and I have to say, you'd expect your face gets transplanted to the back of your skull. On the corners, it feels as mild and tangy as Azusa Miura wearing Haruka Amami's clothing backstage. Yep, got that whole Million Live feeling around here but oh no. This is much more than that. This is madness to a whole new level and if you want to find some thrills, this is the car for you, despite its high price.

2014 Porsche 911 Turbo

So, verdict time. The 911 Turbo and the S model excels in the pursuit of speed, its spartan driving manners, and hopefully, the will to outrun any exploding microwave alive. One thing I don't like is its high pricing and the theory that this is nothing more of a blunt weapon next to the GT3. Only if you're brave enough to master the raw power of the ultimate 911 as of now.

Photo: Dr. Ing. h.c. F. Porsche AG

Jeep Cherokee KL

The Cherokee is known to be one of the most vital tribes in Native American history whose first known center was in the southern Alleghenies and who presently live in North Carolina and Oklahoma. The Jeep Cherokee, on the other hand, is a legend in the history of Jeep SUVs since its inception in 1974 and for almost four decades, the living legend takes on various forms despite its retirement from the mid-2000's and the advent of the Liberty crossover. Now, with the Liberty already discontinued, Jeep announced that they would bring back the Cherokee name as their newest crossover which uses the underpinnings of the Dodge Dart.

2014 Jeep Cherokee

Despite being a Dodge Dart underneath it (or rather else the Alfa Romeo Giulietta on it), the brand new 2014 Jeep Cherokee is still the legend even though it's now a crossover that slots below its luxurious big brother, the Grand Cherokee. There is now a brand new 2.4L MultiAir Tigershark engine 4-cylinder engine as seen on the Dodge Dart as well. The new engine on the new Cherokee develops 184HP of power and 171lb-ft of torque and it's mated with the brand new 9-speed automatic transmission which helps the new Cherokee to attain 31 HWY MPG of fuel economy and at one tank, it can do about 490 hwy miles. Not bad though, not bad. Putting a small engine on an offroader sounds a bit of an off-topic but when you want more, there's an optional 3.2L Pentastar V6 engine which develops 271HP of power, and 239lb-ft of torque.

With the new V6 engine that is more powerful than the old V6 engine and when equipped with the Trailer Tow Group, it provides the best-in-class towing capacity of up to four and a half tons, which makes it...just another one of the crossovers suitable for caravanners going out for a holiday and since Summer's almost over and fall starts, might as well keep it for next summer but in case of day offs, the brand new Cherokee's worth the wait to have your weekends covered.

2014 Jeep Cherokee

The standard Cherokee is front-wheel drive, much like any other crossovers you know, but unlike any other, it can be offered with an optional 4WD powertrain and if you're opted for the more off-road focused Trailhawk model with the standard Active Drive Lock 4x4 system with 4-Low and rear locker, it behaves just like the big boys. You can get muddy and dirty with this one and that's more like it. In today's history, most of the SUVs have gone the way of becoming luxurious coaches. Range Rovers, Land Cruisers, Suburbans, they maybe off-roaders by their appearance but they're not comfortable at doing it. This new Cherokee isn't. It has all of the right gadgets and all of the right chemistry that makes this crossover well-honed in the tough off-road world. It doesn't feel like you're walking on thin air but more importantly, it feels like you're walking on custard. Talk about science but remember the good old custard rule; never stop.

The brand new Cherokee is worth a tough mudder's dream come true because it retains its TRAIL RATED attitude that most Jeeps had but I'm afraid that there is a downfall to the revived legend and let me explain what I'm on about...

2014 Jeep Cherokee

Chrysler promised the enthusiasts that the new Cherokee will have a much modern design but for you, me, and everyone else in the world, look at this mess. I just don't like the way Chrysler designed the front view of the new Cherokee and look at these slanted headlamps, this is as hideous as the bad piggies from Angry Birds but more importantly, this is the kind of crossover you REALLY don't want if you have kids five and under because if it does, it will make kids crying about there's a monster in the house, even at nighttime. If you had kids, you may probably not want to have this on your next camping trip or see someone having this because kids might think there's a giant bulborb waiting to eat them. Bulborb, eh? That's Pikmin stuff but yes, the new Cherokee is as scary to look as the monsters from Pikmin, particularly the Bulborbs, the Snagrets, the Blowhog variations, the Mamuta, the Smoky Pogg, you name the rest of the monsters that the Pikmin face against.

Why, oh Why? This new design really is like the equivalent of several enemies from Pikmin and it seems that my feet's starting to feel the frills right now because that thing made me as nervous as someone working from 9 to 5. And then there's another downside. When you drive this on the normal roads, this is as catastrophic as dropping a refrigerator from stairs in case you are dismantling your own bro cave. Also, if you drive one of these in, let's just say, at a children's party, or at the country club, the hospital, the shopping mall, or any points of interest, it's not pretty to look and feel at because when bystanders looking at it, they would rather just panicked right now because they might think one of the monsters from a video game came out to eat them.

2014 Jeep Cherokee interior

Happily however, if you ignore the exterior design and the jump on the interior, it's worth redeeming. You can have a sat-nav, a personalized instrumental cluster, buttons at the steering wheel, and if you wait long enough when this year's fall TV shows taking a break before coming back next February, you can have a special wireless charging pad that lets you charge your gadgets without the wires. That is worth the conventional one and while the tech savvy Cherokee provides more than that, there are 70 available Safety & Security features such as the new Parallel and Perpendicular Park Assist, ParkSense front / rear Park Assist, Blind Spot Monitoring and Cross Path Detection, standard 10 airbags with standard full-length side-curtain & side thorax airbags, new LaneSense Lane Departure Warning, and new Adaptive Cruise Control with Stop and Go. See? Maybe the new 2014 Cherokee, despite its ugly looks, is redeeming after all.

So...what's good about the new Cherokee? It's the gizmos, the new engines, the offroad capability inherited from most Jeeps, and best of all the pricing. With prices start at 22,995 Dollars for the Sport model up to 29,495 Dollars for the Trailhawk model, that makes it great value. What's bad is the design that looks like the enemies from Pikim, the 9-speed gearbox's too much, and it's not pretty to drive on the streets.

Available colors: Brilliant Black, Deep Cherry Red, Bright White, True Blue, Billet Silver, Anvil, Granite, Eco Green, Mango Tango, and Cashmere.

Photo: Chrysler Group, LLC.